Thanks Mom!

In light of Benazir Bhutto getting waxed we here at PTB have a question…who wins? Actually, it’s a rhetorical question ‘cause we already know the answer(s).


The Terrorists…One high-profile offing a year and these BSC freaks make the front page. They’re like the streaker at a football game. Back in the day, networks would show the crazies running on to the field. When copycats sprung up all over the place, networks stopped showing the offenders and the practice all but stopped. The terrorists know that one big bang and they’re front page news again.


Pervez Musharraf…The Perv got a huge break. With no real opposition leader to challenge his hand-picked successor, it’ll be business as usual for the little dictator. Business you say? Since 9/11 Pakistan has received more than FIFTY BILLION dollars from the U.S. to fight terrorists. How are they doing? Well OBL is still on the lamb, bad guys routinely get into Afghanistan through Pakistan’s porous borders and democracy in the country has all but been dismantled. Nice friends huh?


The Republican Party…The party of fear, the party of hate, the party of war. Yup, the right-wing was creamin’ their proverbial jeans when they heard the news. Why? Think about it. Every time something blows up, the ‘publicans hit the panic button. “BOOGIEBOOGIEBOOGIE…The bad guys are coming for us next… BOOGIEBOOGIEBOOGIE!!!” If the American people weren’t such pussies, that crap wouldn’t work. Alas, it works WAY too well.


War Profiteers…Halliburton, KBR and the rest of their ilk didn’t see or hear explosions. They saw dollar signs and heard the Cha-CHING of coinage hitting their collective pockets. You can’t sell the government-cheese hundreds of new Humvees ‘til the old ones get blown up, you can’t push through illegal surveillance systems unless Congress wimps out but you CAN rape and pillage and murder just as long as the crimes are perped on alleged terrorists.



Who Loses?

Freedom-loving Pakistanis and Americans. Remember…the government has to curb your civil-liberties to give the illusion it’s doing something about the problem. In doing so…they just make the problem worse.


The biggest loser by far though, is Bilawal Bhutto, Benazir’s son. He’s been tapped to take his mom’s place leading the Pakistan People’s Party. YIKES! You’d think he’d rather have inherited money or something. "My mother always said democracy is the best revenge," he is quoted as saying. Ummmm...not in your neck of the woods sonny. According to your country’s recent (and not so recent) history…revenge is a four letter word…BOOM!


(8.-)

Another One Bites The Dust

We love the girls here at PTB. We're of the opinion that if more of them were movers and shakers, we wouldn't be in the shit-storm we're in.


Now comes the news that Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan got capped today. Isn't it funny how the good get got early and the asses just keep getting bigger?



Well...here's to you B.B. May your 72 virgins keep you happy and may the perps of this heinousity rot in their own special hell.



Bhutto was our hope.

Islam…religion of peace?

Not if you’re a girl.


@:
:@

The Day After...

For those of you, like us, having to go back to work today...we've got a special treat. Consider it a belated Christmas present.

It's a game. Everyone likes games...right? Well...here it is. Undoubtedly, you've used the search engine Google to look up all sorts of minutae. Heck, you might have even Googled yourself (just to see what was out there). This game is called "Google Lowball." The object of the game is to Google two words (no proper names) to see how few search results you get.

Example: Alabaster Porcupine got 13,100 hits...Sinister Vacuum got 168,000...Hell, Intelligent Bush got 1,860 hits...SHEESH! We haven't found too many searches with fewer than a thousand hits...if you do, consider yourself lucky. If you don't, no worries...you've got lots of time in the next few days to practice.

Good luck!

(8.-)

Happy B-Day JayZoos!

The Sound of Music

If there has ever been a bigger traveshamockery in the history of music, we've never heard of it. Last week the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame announced its newest inductees. On the list: Madonna, John Mellencamp, the Ventures and the Dave Clark Five. WTF is THAT all about?

Madonna is a pop singer...no different than Bobby Sherman or Keith Partridge or the Banana Splits.

Every song "JCougarM" ever did sounds EXACTLY like every other song he's ever done.

The Ventures? One hit...the theme from Hawaii Five-O. Hell, they didn't even have a vocalist!!! The Dave Clark Five? They've got a couple of good songs...but there's no way they're Hall-worthy.

Which brings us to the crux of this biscuit...why is the Hall dissing Rush? Rush has been awarded several Juno Awards and was inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame in 1994. Over the course of their thirty plus year career, the individual members of Rush have been recognized as some of the most proficient players on their respective instruments with each member winning several awards in magazine readers' polls. As a whole, Rush boasts 24 gold records and 14 platinum (3 multi-platinum) records. These statistics place Rush fifth behind The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Kiss and Aerosmith for the most consecutive gold and platinum albums by a rock band. If those stats don't get you in...who do you have to blow?!?

So, to R&RHoF President Joel Peresman...if you ain't got Rush in your Hall...it's just an empty building.

Sun-kissed

Every year BSC's from all over the world flock to the Black Rock Desert for a little somethin' they call "Burning Man."


And every year, the negative nellies decry the drugs, the debauchery and the dirty dancin' perpetrated by those heathens.


Not any more.


Black Rock Solar…a Burning Man-supported non-profit, has installed a 90-kilowatt array in Gerlach that should provide as much as $20,000 a year in free power to the elementary, junior high and high schools.


How much did Black Rock Solar charge Gerlach? Not. One. Penny. They did the same thing a while back for the hospital in Lovelock. FREE.


Say what you will of the Burning Man crowd…just don’t say they never gave you anything. That is, unless that burning, itching, scabby rash is still infesting your nether-regions. We TOLD you to use protection!


@:
:@

Bowling For Dollars

In the heady days of yester-yore, Nevada football was king. Saturday afternoons filled with beer and girls and W’s. Late autumn cornucopias filled with conference championships, playoff intensity and more beer. The “Biggest Little City” boasted the bestest little football team in the country and kicked some 1-AA buttocks.





Then the “Little General” got a swollen ego and decided to play with the big boys. Gone were the championships, gone were the playoffs, gone were the W’s…replaced only by a budget that resembles the GDP of a medium-sized South American country and bottom-of-the-barrel bowl games. The Las Vegas Bowl? The Hawaii Bowl? The MPC Bowl? The New Mexico Bowl? SHEESH!





With all that money spent improving athletic facilities, you’d think the Wolf Pack could replicate the successes of rivals like Fresno State, Hawaii and Boise State. Not so. While the big three of the WACked Conference regularly party at upper-tier bowls, Nevada's Wolf Pack brings new meaning to the term "mediocrity." We'd rather be big fishes in a small pond rather than sleeping with the fishes in the big one.





(8.-)

It's Like Finding A Needle In An Ass Crack

Well the Mitchell Report is out and so are eighty-something rat bastards. We’ve said it before here at PTB…we’re not against drugs…


We’re against hypocrisy.


We’re against cheaters.


We’re against liars.


The really sad part about this clusterfuck is that the Mitchell Report only investigated steroid related stuff…not amphetamines. Athletes in all sports pop dexies and cross tops and rippers like they were M&M’s and no one gives a shit.


But if you have the ganja in your system…you get busted. Think a rasta buzz is “performance enhancing?” No. Think those in charge care? No again.


(8.-)

Don't Touch That Dial!

Here at PTB sport is an important part of our lives. We're of the thought that if countries could sort out their differences on the fields of play rather than the fields of battle, we'd all be better off. Yeah...yeah...we know we're naive but we'd pay big bucks to see the Bush-Wipe fight Ahmadinejad in a no-holds-barred cage match. Wouldn't THAT be fun?

That being said...we're gonna put war and politics and famine and death and gay republicans and the deficit and chimp-dick and the invisible man in the sky on hold for a couple of posts and turn our attention to the wonderful world of sports.

PLAY BALL!

(8.-)

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition

A couple of questions about the BSC Colorado church shooter…

How bad do you have to fuck up to get kicked out of missionary school?

Was the dude secretly a Muslim?

Did he make fun of the Pope’s shoes?

Did he vote for a Democrat?

We thought the God-squad was all about loving thy neighbor and doing unto others and turning the other cheek.

Guess not.

WTF kind of churches employ ARMED FRIGGIN’ GUARDS?!? Is the collection plate that full on Sundays or maybe y’all fear retribution from someone who got molested/ripped-off or otherwise screwed by the church?

Then there’s THIS total piece of crap. It says that if your parents are religious, you’ll likely be a well-adjusted, well-behaved kid. Check it...BSC was homeschooled by devoutly religious parents.

Jesus must be spinning in his grave.

(8.-)

Weird Science

A Christian biologist is suing the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution in Massachusetts, claiming he was fired because he would not accept evolution as scientific fact.

Question: WTF university did this doofus graduate from?

He said this condition was never spelled out in the ad for the job and that his canning led to severe economic losses, an injured reputation, emotional pain and suffering and mental anguish.

Check it Natty...a scientist that doesn't believe in evolution HAS no reputation to injure...your emotional pain and suffering can be treated by a little chat with the invisible man in the sky...and by not believing in evolution, your mental anguish is as miniscule as your brain!

As far as economic losses are concerned...no worries...Natty got a job teaching biology at Liberty University, the school founded by the Rev. Jerry Falwell.

If that doesn't say it all...nothing does!

@:
:@

War is Hell...Just Ask A Veteran

“War…” a man once asked rhetorically.

“What is it good for?”

“Absolutely nothing.” he said, correctly answering his own question.

2,333 souls perished and 1,139 were wounded at Pearl Harbor 66 years ago, sparking America's entrance into WWII.


Today, the Japanese and the Germans and the Italians are some of our closest, bestest friends in the whole wide-world!


Let us all hope it won't take 66 years to win the hearts and minds of our Muslim brothers and sisters.


Chimp Dick likes to say that he's a "War President." We take that to mean he's a "President that's good for NOTHING!"


(8.-)

Fleecing the Flock

We're not big believers here at PTB.


We're of the opinion that religion kills.


But more and more the "Soul Patrol" is trying their damndest to get into our business.


Here's where the hypocrisy hits the road...


It seems that a goodly number of God-lies have been pimpin' their rides...makin' over the home front and living the vida loca...


The government-cheese doesn't think the dollars should be lining the pockets of these wannabe profits (pun intended).


Funny thing is, in Luke 18:24-25 (that's in the bible for all you heathens) the SOG was pretty clear on the matter.


Bundle up motherhubbards...it's colder than a blue nut where you're goin'!!!


@:
:@

Friend or Foe?

Saudi Arabia...our closest allies in the Middle East.

Cuba…the enemy in our own back yard.

In Cuba…women can become doctors, lawyers and teachers.

In Saudi Arabia…women can’t drive, they’ve gotta be covered from head to toe and can’t get a job without permission from the alpha male of the family.

The Saudis are our BFF in the war against global extremism…and they just let 1,500 of the baddest of the bad guys out of jail if they “promised to behave.”

In Cuba…you can get the finest hand-rolled cigars and some of the best liquor in the world.


In Saudi Arabia…the morality police will hunt you down for smoking or drinking and if you’re a rape victim, you get 200 lashes and six months in jail…IF YOU’RE THE VICTIM!

Does anyone see the hypocrisy in this foreign policy or do Americans just not care? We think the latter.

Le Roi est Mort. La Vie longue le Roi!

There isn't one of us here at PTB that hasn't imagined themselves as "The King"...you've never seen a bike fly 'til you've seen an airborne Huffy.



EZ-E did the BSCziest stuffle a human being could think of.




Living 'til 69 while doin' it makes it all that more impressive.



20-1 says he salted his McFries.


Huzzah to a REAL American hero!!!


(8.-)

THIS Is Why We LOVE the Grrls!!!

Gobbled...

Happy Thanksgiving
(luckier than most)



At least you’re not in the suck
(why are you a thankful one?)



You could be this guy
(we shall avenge you)







(8.-)

Drop The Soap!

Here at PTB we LOVE studies.


Turns out these guys found "The number of people in U.S. prisons has risen eight-fold since 1970, with little impact on crime but at great cost to taxpayers and society."


They've released a report calling for a major overhaul in the justice system.


No Duh.



When Lindskank LoHoHoHan spends a mere 84 minutes in the gray bar motel for DUI and cocaine posession...


When Iron-Head Mike will spend ONE WHOLE DAY in the calaboose for DUI and cocaine posession...


and this murderer doesn't spend a minute behind bars for his crimes...it's not the system that's at fault...it's the people who run it.


We're calling 'em the "Correctional Industrial Complex."


(8.-)

Mixed Up Priorities

For only the sixth time in a pResidency that has seemingly lasted forever…GWB has vetoed a bill.


This particular measure would have provided a 20 percent increase in money for job training programs, $1.4 billion extra for health research at the National Institutes of Health, $2.4 billion for heating subsidies for the poor, $665 million for grants to community action agencies, $63.6 billion for the Education Department and a $225 million increase for community health centers.


At the same time WPE signed a separate bill to give the Pentagon about $460 billion. For what, you ask? $6.3 billion for the next-generation F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, $2.8 billion for the Navy's DD(X) destroyer and $3.1 billion for the new Virginia-class attack submarine.


Let’s see…job training, health research, helping the poor heat their homes, community action agencies education and community health centers are BAD while fighter jets, destroyers and attack subs are GOOD!


Quick question…do fighter jets, destroyers and attack subs help fight the war on terror? No.


When he says he loves America and her people, as always, HE’S LYING!!!

A Lowdown Dirty Shame

89 Years ago today, on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the "War to End All Wars"...ended.


And nothing changed.



89 years later twenty-five percent of homeless Americans are veterans.



When they say they love America and they support our troops...they're lying!


Happy Veteran's Day...yeah...unless you're a veteran.


(8.-)

Yer Doin' A Heckuva Job Bushie!

How IS that war on terror going you ask?


Our bestest friends in the region just declared martial law and are arresting opposition leaders. They still haven’t found OBL -- who is IN THEIR COUNTRY! Nice.


Our allies are attacking the Kurds (you remember the Kurds…they were the ones WMD’ed by Saddam Hussein) and we’re letting ‘em do it. Sweet.


The Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines have lowered their standards so much that pResident Bush would qualify for service (if he wasn’t such a chickenshit, milquetoast coward). Amen.


2007 has now become the deadliest year for American soldiers in Iraq. Uh oh.


The Taliban and Al Qaeda are as nasty as ever in Afghanistan. Still?


Congress is close to confirming the next Attorney General. He thinks torture is O.K. Doh!


The spineless Democrats won’t bring our troops home ‘til 2013 and the Republicans aren’t EVER going to get our troops home. Sigh.


If this isn’t a clusterfuck, nothing is.


(8.-)

Zulu...Yankee...X-ray...Whiskey...Victor

If you’ve visited this part of Cyberia more than once, you know how much we hate the Government-Cheese. But we here at PTB love NASA. Heck, most of us wanted to be astronauts ‘til we found out you needed to know math and science and stuff like that. Hell, we just wanted to bang alien hotties and bang the heads of alien baddies. Oh well...


So, it turns out that NASA did a study looking at all the bad crap that happens and almost happens with the airline companies of the good ole USofA and they won’t tell us what they found. NASA says that if they release their findings it would, “…undermine public confidence in the airline industry or hurt the industry's profits.”


THIS is why we hate the Government-Cheese. NASA spent eight-and-a-half MILLION of OUR dollars to find out that airline service and safety in America is worse than that of Djibouti and they don’t want us to know ‘cause we’d quit flying and the airlines would lose money.


Guess what numbnuts…we’ve already quit flying. Why?

Off with yer shoes…
No lighters…
No Muslims…
No bomb jokes…
No shampoo bottles…
Drunk pilots…
Eight hour runway delays…
Never, Never, NEVER on time.


WTF do you think would happen if NASA did this with fast food chains? “We don’t want to tell you that we found butt hairs in the burgers and fingers in the chili ‘cause if we did you’d stop eating fast food and they’d lose money.” This is our government at work??? SHEESH!!!!




America...the greatest country in the world? Hardly.


(8.-)

We Ain't 'Fraid O' No Ghosts...

You wanna know what's REALLY scary???



BOO!!!



Happy Halloween Charlie Brown!!!


(8.-)

Happy Nevada Day!

We're proud as punch to be from the Silver State. No place better to live in the entire USofA.



We've got Ho's...you don't.



We've got games...you don't.




We've got the most beautiful lake in the world...and you don't.



And our skiing is WAY better than yours!



So enjoy Nevada Day today Silver-Staters...it could be worse...you could be livin' in Ala-fuckin-bama!!!







(8.-)

For It Is The Doom Of Men That They Forget

As long as there is a breath of life, PTB will NEVER forget our Korean "Police Action" brothers and sisters.





Do you all know who does forget the sacrafices of our brave brothers and sisters?





This guy.





And they're doing it all over again in 2007.




When they say they love America and they care about you...





they're LYING!!!


@:
:@

Burn Rubber

The Golden State is turning a crispy, golden brown.


Governor Steroid has declared a State of Emergency and the government is mobilizing everyone in an effort to help.


Quick question to the government-cheese out there (we’re talking to YOU cracker!)…


Are the quick actions to save lives and property ‘cause Malibu is bourgie white?


To put it another way…if all these flames were scorching the brown-skinded brothers and sisters down in the Big Easy…would you have been so quick to help?


We know the answer…it was a rhetorical question.


(8.-)

What Soccer Players Do At Work On Fridays

Here at PTB we love the "futball". So, to get y'all psyched for the weekend, we present our first-ever video. WARNING: Doing this at YOUR work could be hazardous to your future employment prospects. Have a great weekend!

(8.-)

Heller High Water

This is what really cheeses us off about CDH and his right-wingnuts...


They don't want to spend money insuring poor kids...


but they have all the money they need when it comes to blowing up our brown-skinded brothers and sisters.


Hell of a job Hellie! Your nose is so far up GWB's ass, when he farts your hair blows in the wind!


@:
:@

His Own Private IdaHo'

We've said it before, we'll say it again. Here at PTB we love our GLBT brothers and sisters.


So you just know we love Senator Larry (don't call me Jenny) Craig.


Well, great news! Senator PeterPuffer has just been elected into the Idaho "Stall"...er we mean "HALL of Fame."


Congratulations Senator Turd Blossom...you've joined luminaries such as:


Mr Potato Head...


That BSC dude from Ruby Ridge...


and a freak well-known here in the 775...Claude Dallas. HUZZAH to you, Senator Craig, your place in history is secure!


(8.-)

Off With His Head!!!

Not meaning to get depressing on y'all this morning but there's something we don't get.


This rat-bastard has ADMITTED and been proven guilty of a heinous crime.


The ACLU (good friends of PTB) got the BSC sonavabitch's execution stayed because lethal injection is "cruel and unusual punishment."


So we've gotta say it...electroded balls are C&UP...


waterboarding innocents is C&UP...


killing children and civilians is C&UP...


The prick beat an 86 year old woman to death with a TIRE IRON. THAT's C&UP.


An arm full of drugs isn't cruel OR unusual...it's called Saturday night at Courtney Love's house.



@:
:@

Childrens They Do Learn

Here at PTB we LOVE our brothers and sisters in uniform.


Alas, Bush-Wipe and his ilk (just like Der BSC and his Nazi buddies) have us in a helluva pickle.


People hate it when we compare all the pResident's men to the little dictator but check it:

They had stormtroopers...we have stormtroopers.


They had gulags...we have gulags.



They had two fronts...we have two fronts. Sound familiar?


Here's the problem. We need more troops than we have and the Government-Cheese's solution is to drop standards for recruits! Now they're letting in drug addicts and rapists and murderers and just plain dumbasses. It seems the only people the (h)Army doesn't want are the gays. You know, 'cause those gays are freakin' CRAZY!


(8.-)

God Said What?

Let's see if we can get this straight...


The MoSup of a bunch of Po' Nuns says she talks to the G-Man.


The Pope then tosses 'em out of the Church, cuts off their water and electricity and then has the cops perp-walk 'em out of their digs.


They get to come back into the church if they repent. We never knew that talking to the invisible being in the sky was a sin.


Guess it is now.


(8.-)

Who Would Jesus Nuke?

With all the crap we hear about terrorists using “dirty bombs” it was an ass-chapper to read that, back in the day, the good ole USofA was considering the same type of nefarious methodology.


You’d think that type of bullshit thinking would be long over. You’d have thought wrong. Ever heard of depleted uranium? It is some nasty shit and our very own U.S. Army is using it every day in Afghanistan and Iraq. Nice, huh?


We find it vomit-inducing when politicians claim the U.S. is a country founded on Christian values yet they heed little of what the SOG said.


The cradle of civilization will be radioactive for thousands of years and it's all our fault.


(8.-)

War-Torn

A member of the Iraqi Parliment gets caught hangin' with the bad guys...


while the Iraqi Government has to buy weapons from the Chinese because we don't have enough weapons to sell them ourselves.


Meanwhile, we're spending 700 BILLION dollars a year killing our brown-skinded brothers and sisters when we can least afford it.


They say they care about America. They say they care about you.
They don't. That is, unless you're Halliburton, KBR or Blackwater.


Jesus Must be spinning in His grave!


(8.-)

That Urine Isn't Mine Officer!!!

It sure sucks when someone you've admired for a long time turns out to be a fake.

Here at PTB we've got no problems with drugs.


You wanna sniff paint? That's O.K. by us.


You smoke hairs from a ho's ass crack? Go ahead.


But when you're doing drugs to get an edge on the competition...that's just wrong. A haiku to ease our pain:




Say it ain't so Joe!

Are you a juiced-up cheater?

The 775 mourns.

Beers To Your Health

We’re all news junkies here at PTB so imagine our delight when we opened the RGJ today and found this article.


Now, we really don’t care how our skin looks. After all, we’re bloggers…zits, blackheads, boils and dry patches are our constant companions. But if one of the “super foods” to help skin look its best is barley…we’re in.


You see, barley is the main ingredient in beer…worshiped here at PTB as the “Goddess of Life.” Now when we toss back a couple of brews we won’t only be feeling the buzz of the alcohol…we’ll be feeling the buzz to better skin!


Here’s to your health!


(8.-)

ICE Caramba!!!

Last week was a bad week to be a brown-skinded brother or sister here in the 775.


Isn't it weird that John Law busted a bunch of EMPLOYED Latinos working for the most successful BLACK businessman in the area?


If the Fuzz really wanted to bust up major employment for illegals...they would have busted the casino or the construction industries. Problem is...they're all owned by Crackers.


(8.-)

An Army Of nOne

We don’t have enough troops in Afghanistan…


We don’t have enough troops in Iraq…


We don’t have enough money for either…


Hell, we don’t even have enough money to keep the government going.


Now they're blathering on about starting a war with Iran.


So when they tell you they care about you,


when they tell you they love America…THEY’RE LYING!


(8.-)

Friends In Low Places

Every time pResident Evil opens his pie hole the stench of his blather has us doing the Technicolor yawn. Yesterday Bush-2.0 was at the U.N. and he insisted that the world body "spread democracy" and referred to Fidel Castro as "a cruel dictator" The Cuban delegation promptly gave him the old ass-crack bye-bye salute and stormed out of the room. Good for them. What the hell does "GEE DUmB" know about democracy and freedom?



These guys are his friends...



These guys are his bestest buddies...



He's even friends with these rat-bastards.



We've told you once, we've told you a thousand times...The only thing that makes a country "evil" is if American businesses can't make money there.


(8.-)

Proud To Be A 'Merican?

Black is beautiful.

Don't sit under the whites tree.

Not in the Bayou.



Crackers in Jena

don't like you if you're colored.

They’re redneck morons.



In America

can a brother get a break?

No…too much hate here.




@:
:@

If It's Too Loud...You're Not Deaf Yet!

Another weekend, another festival here in the 775. This time it's Street Vibrations.


Every year the hogs, their riders and the men and women who love them descend on us like Mormon Crickets on a corn stalk...and every year the blue-plated blue hairs bitch and moan and complain about the noise.


Look, Street Vibrations brings a lot of money (and visitors) to the 775. If you don't like the noise, may we suggest you go visit the grandkids this weekend.


If you're staying, loosen up and have fun. After all, that's why we live here in the 775!


(8.-)

Recipie For Disaster

Wanna know how to make an anti-American-freedom-hating future terrorist?




It's EASY!!!




Just send a bunch of North Carolina rednecks into Iraq and let them kill whomever they want.




That's why they hate us.




Not our freedom...




Not our music...




No...they hate us because we're in their country killing civilians and every time we do...we make terrorists out of those who survive. We will be paying for this war for a VERY long time!!!


When they say they support our troops and they love America...THEY'RE LYING!!!!


@:
:@

Where In The Hell Is Carmen San Diego?

So, little Johnny can't tell the difference between Djibouti and a dipstick.


No child left behind...yeah right.


It's been happening for a long time now -- American kids getting fat, lazy and dumb.


We put the blame right where it belongs...with mummy and daddy. Looking at the parenting skills Americans show on a daily basis, it's no wonder we're getting our asses kicked in everything from algebra to zoology. America, the greatest country in the world? Hardly.


@:
:@

Baby You Can Drive My Car

Women want to drive in Sand-Diego?


INFIDELS!!!


While the Bush-Wipe is sucking commie ball-sack...


and his skronk is bawlin 'bout Burma...


This is how are allies behave.


If you let Muslim women drive cars...next thing you know they're wanting to cure cancer, solve global warming or bring about world peace.


At least Saudi women drive better than their male counterparts!


(8.-)

How Dumb do the Traitors Think We Are?

We'd been waiting all week to hear what GDP had to say. He lied. The Iraqi insurgents are beating on us like we stole something.


We watched last night as President Dumb-Ass went through the same half-truths and misconceptions that got us into this clusterfuck.


Let's clear up a few things...


Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.


The violence in Iraq is NOT subsiding.


And 37 countries may be in the "Coalition of the Willing" but SHEESH...Moldova? The only thing we're doing in Iraq is making more martyrs to come after us.


It took the Idiot-In-Chief sixteen minutes of his speech before he mentioned Afghanistan...you remember Afghanistan right? It's where OBL is hiding.


Speaking of the devil...hey Bush-Wipes...How is the hunt for the 9/11 mastermind going? Not too good we'll wager.


The Iraqis are kicking our ass the same way we kicked British Butt in 1776...


The same way the Viet-Nam-Ese handed us our hats in 1969...


The same way the Afghans put boot to butt on the Russians.


Any way you look at it...we're toast!


When they tell you they care about America...they're LYING!!!


(8.-)

Gettin' High With A Little Help From Our Friends

One of the things we love about livin’ here in the 775 is that we’ll race just about anything.

We race cars…


We race airplanes…


We race wiener dogs…


We race dromedaries…


Hell…we even race turd-holders.


But this weekend’s race is special. It’s officially called the “Great Reno Balloon Race”. Here at PTB we call it “Hot Air Up There”. It’s in the top ten of all-time greatest cheap, romantic dates. If you can’t get laid taking your sweetie to GRBR/HAUT…you’re just not tryin’ hard enough. So, enjoy the festivities, have a great weekend and give your sweetie a kiss from us!


(8.-)

Finding Nemo

We’ve got nothing but love and respect for Steve Fossett.


Hell, anyone who can circumnavigate the whole friggin’ globe in a lousy balloon sports huevos rancheros grande.


But we have to ask. If you, dear reader, were the one missing, do you think they’d have seven planes, three helicopters, a boat and hundreds of people out there pounding the bush looking for your sorry ass? No.


Hell, if they looked for OBL with this much firepower, we’d have him by now.


It just proves PTB’s ongoing point. If you’re rich in this country, you get a LOT better treatment from the government-cheese than if you’re poor.


(8.-)

Tri-Ku

Worlds Greatest Country
doesn't spend to cure disease.
Thank God for comics.




World's Greatest Country
spends time and money to kill
the enemies of God.




If we're the greatest
country in this whole wide world,
why do they hate us?




( 8.-)

Homo-crite Says What?

Here at PTB, we love our GLBT sisters, brothers and others. What a sad, boring place America would be without 'em.



Which brings us to the "Party of Family Values"...




Gay




Fag


Queer



Homo



Peter Puffer



Flamer



Fudge-Packer



BuFu



Fruit



Swishy



and just for our brown-skinnded GLBT's...




Maricones.





At least the Democrats don't pretend to be holier than thou. It's the height of hypocracy to claim God is on your side and being gay is bad and then going out and looking for turd-blossoms in airport bathrooms.



When they say they love America...they're lying.


When they day they want to protect Americans and our way of life...they're lying!!!



(8.-)

Theirs Not To Reason Why, Theirs But To Do And Die

The title is from A,LT's ditty "Charge of the Light Brigade."...the "soldier's creed."





A soldier does not question. A soldier does as told...or dies trying.





Good thing they got the AmLeg.

Three Q's for the pResident while he's hangin' in the 775:

1. Are we safer now than we were six years ago?

2. WTF with Walter Reed ???

and...

3. How are we gonna pay for all thishit?

One challenge to the AmLeg...

Grunt up the Huevos Rancheros and speak truth to power...

"How long have you been a retarded pResident?" isn't the right Q.

WTF? is.

Ps. We ARE bangin' your wife...

(8.-)

The Faith of A Mustard Seed

So...Mo-T had a "crisis of faith"...SHEESH...ya think?



Have you SEEN the world out there?



Hatemongers disguised as Christians...



Warlords disguised as Christians...



Moneychangers disguised as Christians...



Death Metal musicians disguised as Christians...


Politicians disguised as Christians...



Jesus must be spinning in his grave!



(8.-)

Travesty at Sweet Leaf High

Uh oh…another high-profile pot bust. Yeah...it's not like anyone is surprised that a D.J. would toke a spliff.

You’d think that LyCo-911 would have bigger fish to fry than dope smokin’ hippies...Guess not.

Here at PTB, it puzzles us how you can come home from a hard day’s work and relax by:

Slammin’ a dozen Tequila shooters,

smokin’ a pack of Camels and...

poppin’ a handful of ‘scripted V’s ...but god FORBID you twist up a blunt.

Have you read your Bible?

Do you know who John D. Rockefeller was?

Have you ever heard of "Hemp For Victory"?

At least, Travis T. didn't go all hypocritical on us like Walter Floyd.

When they say they love America...They're LYING!!!!!

(8.-)

Fair Weather

Allright, allright…yeah, we’ve been a little negative here at PTB lately. But, SHEESH, have you SEEN some of the things goin’ on out there? YIKES!


Anyway…


We’re gonna keep it light today ‘cause one of our faves kicks off its 133rd year here in the 775. That’s right, the Nevada State Fair.


Wanna cheap date? Head off to the cooking competitions where audience members get to eat what the judges didn’t.


Then head over to the Tilt-A-Whirl and learn what a bulimic feels like.


Got a need for speed? Check out the drag racing wiener dogs.


The fair is one of the best things about the 775…so go out there and have fun!

(8.-)