Pray Day

In case you didn’t know, every year since 1952, the President of the United States of America, Inc. has declared May 6th National Prayer Day. Worst. Idea. Ever.

“If the Gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish for they constantly pray for many evils to befall one another.” – Epicurus, Greek philosopher, BC 341-270

Love me some Greek philosophy. And EZ-E has a point there.

Think about it. If the Invisible Man in the Sky REALLY answered prayers, Catholic priests could still have NAMBLA sex and no one would know about it, Sarah Palin would be President and every team would win the Super Bowl every year. Not. Gonna. Happen.

C’mon…deep down, everyone knows prayer is about as effective as voodoo. Still, the politicians give it a rusty trombone every year on this day. Today Barry-O said, “I call upon the citizens of our Nation to pray, or otherwise give thanks, in accordance with their own faiths and consciences, for our many freedoms and blessings…” Really?

Do you think B-Rock really wants Satanists to conjure up Beelzebub or Animists to give a shout out to the paving stones in their back yard? No. C’mon America, it’s the 21st Century. As long as we, as a country, wallow in these primitive, tribal, bass-ackward, rituals, we’re never gonna get our problems solved. But if we got rid of National Prayer Day, we’d be solving one problem. True story.

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Pat That Ass

Poor fuckin’ Haiti. SHEESH. Talk about gettin’ kicked when you’re down. YOW! A couple of things are bothering me about this situation…

Did you know that when you make a Haiti relief donation with your credit card that American Express, Visa and Master card are gonna take three percent right off the top as a “transaction fee?” Aye caramba! A computer makes the money transfer automatically and these ass-wipes charge three percent. They’re gonna make millions off of this natural disaster. Those bourgie rat-bastard moneychangers have a special place in Hell waiting for ‘em. True dat.

Speaking of special places in Hell….Pat Robertson is in the news again. Now y’all might be sayin’ to yourselves, “Pat Robertson isn’t takin’ a dirt nap yet?” Nope. Robertson, yappin’ on his T.V. show, said that Haiti got popped by God because they’d made a deal with the Devil. WTF is up with that?

Question #1: Let’s say Pat Robertson is right (HAW!)…If Haiti made a deal with the Devil, why didn’t Beelzebub hold up His end of the bargain? If Robertson is right (another HAW!) how come the Invisible Man in the Sky didn’t pull a Sodom and Gomorah on ‘em?

And question #2: If Robertson is wrong (yeah…IF)…why aren’t all the REAL Christians in the world calling for his head on a platter? Robertson seems to open his lie-hole every time something bad happens and the only thing that comes out is hateful, bullshit. Hey Christians…your leader is flappin’ his yap again and makin’ y’all look like racist, xenophobic, hate-mongers. Problem is…y’all (or most of y’all, anyway) ARE hate-filled, petty and racist. You’re all just too blind to see it. Now you can imagine why Christians were burned at the stake and fed to the lions…y’all deserve it. Well, at least Pat Robertson does. Jzeus mush be spinning in His grave.

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