Hoppin'

There’s a helluva party goin’ on here in the 775. Hot women, hot cars and hot music…it must be Hot August Nights. In celebration, we’ve got you this little tidbit from one of the baddest motherhubbards ever – Glenn Miller. That dude was smoother than a baby’s butt and his boys could do some band damage. Don’t believe it? Watch the dancers during the silent parts of this song…he’s got ‘em still groovin’! The awesome thing about this video is that the band really played the song. Everyone that is, ‘ceptin’ the brother ticklin’ the ivories. That dude’s piano playin’ is as fake as John Ensign and Mark Sanford's commitment to the sanctity of marriage. YIKES!


(8.-)

Freeballin' Friday

Artown 2008 ended last night with a performance by the Harlem Gospel Choir. More than 3,000 people jammed into Wingfield Park to catch the show. Curious factoid…when the HGC arrived in the 775 the number of brown-skinded brothers in the area DOUBLED!

Question: If the drought here in the 775 keeps going, where are all the newbies gonna get their water? We’ve been sayin’ it for years…water is the new gold.

The NBA’s D-League team in Reno got a name…Bighorns. Puh-Leeze! Aren’t bighorns part of the SHEEP family? They named our team after a four-legged, head-bangin’ vegetarian. Bummer.

It seems that the Rail City wants to bail out of the RSCVA. We can understand that. Sparks NEVER got props from the RSCVA. We do wonder...if Sparks is gonna form its own bureau, where they gonna get the money to pay for it? Just asking.

Michelle Wie is tied for 77th place at the Legends Reno-Tahoe Open (what, no mention of Sparks?). Hey Wie Wie…go back and play with the girls ‘til you win something there. Now, you’re just takin’ bread outta some poor man’s wallet.

Finally, Hot August Nights starts up this weekend. It’s a celebration of a simpler time when minorities were treated like shit, women were discouraged from working and the only drugs in baseball were alcohol and nicotine. WARNING! Watch out for blue hairs with blue plates drivin’ momma’s hoopty. Fuel is so expensive now, they’re not gonna stop for anything (except maybe to buy more gas).

(8.-)

Fill 'Er Up!

Damn…$4.00+ for a gallon of gas is really startin’ to get binding here in the 775. We’ve got more roads and more space between things than just about anyone in the USofA.



The upside is that parents are makin’ little Suzie and little Johnny walk to the mall instead of givin’ ‘em a ride. That’ll burn some of the fat off their asses, neh?



Expensive gas means fewer people driving. That means less traffic and less air pollution and it’s an AWESOME karma payback for those terrorist-enabling Hummer drivers!



Have you seen the new car commercials promising $2.99/gallon gas for three years if you buy one of their vehicles? We’ve done the math and if gas goes up to $15 or $20 a gallon, that $2.99 guarantee will put some folks out of business. It reminds us of McDonalds’ 1984 Olympic food giveaway. Someone in the marketing department is sweating bullets right about now!



But $4.00+ for a gallon of gas hurts three sectors in the 775 especially hard…



NEVADA ATHLETICS – With petrol being so expensive, Wolf Pack footballers won’t have enough money to afford to both drink AND drive.



NEVADA BROTHELS – the way the Silver State is set up, the only thing farther away than brothels is the planet Uranus.



HOT AUGUST NIGHTS – Yeah, we know you need a lot of money in the first place to own a classic car, but you’re gonna have to take out a second mortgage if you wanna drive that hoopty around the 775 for any length. Besides…have you seen the mileage rating for a 1929 Cord? YIKES!



(8.-)

Hot August Frights

Were you there? No. Of course you weren't. NO ONE WAS!


Saturday night in downtown was emptier than the space between WPE's ears!


There were more WMD's in Iraq than there were tourists in downtown Reno!


It was so quiet downtown that you could hear a pin drop. But if you were the one dropping the pin, Reno 911 would have perp-walked you to the hoosegow for "Gang Related Activity".


So...the chicken-shit, pink-assed crackers that are the powers that be in the 775 got their wish. No Saturday night cruise. The blowback of it all is that in 20 years, the same brown-skinded brothers you chased off will be HAN'ers themselves...only they won't be coming to Reno...that's 'cause they weren't welcome here in 2007.


It's a travesty.

(8.-)

Cooling Off Hot August Nights

So, Reno 911 wants to stop crime during Hot August Nights…an admirable goal.

So whadda they do?

They log on to Craig’s List to bust the EVIL HO’s!!!!

WORST CRIMINAL ACTIVITY EVER!!!!!

No, they didn’t bust Crystal darkness, OBL or Dick... they popped EVIL HO's!!!

Finding hookers on Craig’s list easier than finding an anal-retentive, perverted cracker in the Republican party.

Wanna get the real HAN bad guys? Run A DUI checkpoint on South Virginia street.

It's hypocritical because 30 miles away you CAN pay for sex…


When they say they're here to "serve and protect"...THEY'RE LYING!!!


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Hot Time In The City

It’s finally here. The 775’s tribute to the cars, music and style of yore.

People cruise in their hoopty wagons, mack on the girls and get hassled by the fuzz…just like they did back in Fonzie’s day.

Problem is, now the HANers are all old geezers so they’ve decided to stop their Saturday night cruise.

Why?

‘Cause the brown skinned kids from Cali roll in driving their rice rockets, macking on the girls and getting hassled by John Law.

Officials say they're "troublemakers."

We here at PTB consider them the HANers of the future.


Reno only wants your tourist dollars if you're a pink-skinned cracker!


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