Girls Gone Wild

All y’all who’ve read PTB throughout the years know we surely do love the ladies. They’re smart and curvy and, for the most part, smell great. Long-timers will also note that there’s no love lost between PTB and the Catholic Church.

Now, it’s been posited here before that religion, by its nature, is a bunch of hypocritical bullshit. The douchebags with all the power make rules for the rest of us while they do whatever in the hell they want. You listening to me John “Able Semen” Ensign? That being said, this weekend the Catholic Church set a new low. I know what you’re sayin’, “Catholics can hit a new low?” Yup.

Last week, the Vatican announced…wait for it…wait for it…the Vatican announced that ordaining female priests was as bad as pedophilia. Aye caramba! Are they serious about this? Can they really believe that letting a woman become a priest is the equivalent sin of anally raping an eight year old boy? Has the Vatican lost its collective marbles?

Here’s the crux of the biscuit…as long as religions focus on all the things people are not allowed to do, rather than preach what people should do, they’ll soon be on a path to Bolivia. Since the beginning, religions have been dividing people rather than uniting them. Maybe now they’re getting so divisive that no one will want to be a part of it. And JZeus spins in His grave.

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L7 Squared

Ya know…I hate to tell y’all I told ya so but, “I told ya so!” Earlier this week, the general in charge of American troops in Afghanistan said that we’ve gotta re-think our strategy in that conflict. No shit, Captain Obvious. Problem is, like I said before, no matter what plan we put in place, short of nuking the whole country into bolivia, is gonna end up with the same result. Mujahedeen – 5 The Rest of the World – 0. Remember your history peeps…Afghanistan is where empires go to die. And the American empire is getting’ ready to take a dirt nap on this one.



The thing that really sucks, though (as if the loss of our standing in the world isn’t enough) is that the Government-Cheese doesn’t even realize that awful reality. As a matter-of-fact, yesterday former director of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge, said that we’d have to change our thoughts on what victory in Afghanistan means. When they start moving the goal posts in the middle of the game, you know you’re screwed. Ridge said victory in Afghanistan would mean rebuilding that country. Aye caramba! Is that really what you think T.R.?



I’m gonna say this again but I know it’ll fall on deaf ears. Alexander the Great tried, Genghis Kahn tried, the Roman Empire, the British Empire and the Soviet Union all tried to invade Afghanistan. They all failed. Now, we’ve tried and failed too. But that isn’t even the worst part. The worst part is that chuckleheads like Tom Ridge want to spend more time and effort and lives and treasure “rebuilding” Afghanistan. Guess what guys, rebuilding Afghanistan is an oxymoron. How can you rebuild a country that, at its political and cultural apex was still wallowing in the fourth century? SHEESH!




BTW…out of all the news coming out of Afghanistan lately, contractors bein' wack-jobs, again…IED’s blowin’ the bejeezus out of our troops and such, you haven’t heard one peep about Beau Bergdahl. Hello…where are all the patriots now? Or were they even patriots in the first place?


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Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oy! Oy! Oy!

Yesterday we talked about the need for the 775 to increase tourism and the dollars that come with it. One of the cornerstones of our proposal was to legalize prostitution in the entire state. After all, as the old saying goes, “sex sells.” Come to find out that the Aussies have been surfin’ our brain waves. Either that, or they just click on over here and read PTB…ANYWAY…



Queensland State, Australia is a big tourist destination, just like the NV. They’re feeling the pinch of the world economic meltdown as much as anybody (thanks a lot Chimp-Dick). So whadda you think they’re gonna do about it? How ‘bout a month-long, clothes optional, hedonistic, horizontal mambo? That’s right. To bring in the tourists and their money into the area they’re actually promoting a four week sex-a-thon. See…we told you!


"Tough economic times call for stiff measures," Tony Fox, the owner of the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, told the local newspaper. Yup…he actually said, “stiff measures.” So, word got out and peeps from all over the globe are heading to the "Q" to sample the pleasures we Puritans here in the USo’A dare not speak of. They’re all gonna get sweaty and nasty and dirty and soon they’ll all be rollin’ in the dough (which is pretty sexy in its own right). Gives new meaning to the term “Thunder From Down Under.”



Ya see folks…if we wanna get out of this financial clusterfuck, we’ve gotta think outside the box. HAR! Yup, we said “outside the box.” We’ve got to get into new sources of revenue and expand the tax base. Legalize prostitution throughout the Silver State, pimp the fact that we have it, sit back and watch the tourists and their dollars roll in. We can do that or we can all sit on our asses, do nothing and watch as we sink into Bolivia. C’mon guys…whadda ya say?


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