Chucklenuts

So, ACORN is in the news again and, as you might expect, the tighty-righties have their Underoos all up in a twist. O.K., I’m not gonna defend ACORN on this one but I do want to get to the crux of an important biscuit. Let’s just say ACORN is guilty as hell for everything they’re accused of. The worst thing to come out of it is that they get busted for registering a bunch of dead people that cannot vote anyway…because they’re dead! Does that really affect anybody? No.


But you surely can bet Glenn “I’ll Be” Beck and Rush “To Judgment” Limbaugh and “Dollar” Bill O’Reilley are having collective conniptions about ACORN. Here’s the question: If the right-wing nutcases go all ballistic over ACORN’s voter fraud, WTF haven’t they made a peep about Halliburton’s war profiteering? Or KBR’s killing of innocent civilians? Or the fact that Chimp-Dick used the Constitution to wipe his ass for eight years? Not a word from those douchebags. Nope, they’re using their straw man arguments to scare the bejeezus out of the unwashed masses and those double-digit IQ’ers are buying it hook, line and stinker. Now you know why, when money is tight, the first thing they cut is ed-u-ma-kay-shun.


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Hypocritical Mass

Last week the SCOTUS ruled that inmates don’t have the constitutional right to get a DNA test that might prove their innocence in a crime if the inmate has already been convicted of that crime. Remember when the USo’A would free a hundred guilty rat-bastards rather than imprison one innocent person? We do. And damn, it seems like it was a long time ago.

A watchdog group out of D.C. called, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics, wants the Senate Ethics Committee to investigate the actions of Senator John “Able-Semen” Ensign. Problem: Johnny Wad isn’t taking responsibility for his actions and, through those actions, we found out he doesn’t have any ethics either. Don’t worry guys; the election is right around the corner. Ensign is gonna get fusticated.

The lawyer for Bernie Madoff (With the Money) says his client is remorseful and that twelve years in the hoosegow is adequate punishment for the biggest fraud in American history. Donte Stallworth of the Cleveland Browns was driving drunk and killed a pedestrian. His sentence? Thirty days. Ever feel like the cute and fuzzy bunnies get all the breaks? Believe this…if it woulda been you or me, they’d have run us off to Gitmo.

And finally, speakin’ ‘bout Gitmo…the other day, republicans in Congress introduced a resolution that stated, in part,

“Congress expresses its support for all Iranian citizens who struggle for freedom, human rights, civil liberties, and the protection of the rule of law... [and] affirms the universality of individual rights…”

This is what’s so BSC about the tighty-righties. They’ll piss and moan and wail and rend garments over Iranian protests but when it comes to giving human rights, civil liberties, individual rights and the protection of the rule of law to prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, they stick their collective heads back up their collective asses and hide. Republican hypocrisy. Alive and well.

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Silver Tongues from the Silver State

Every time a report is issued talkin’ ‘bout edu-ma-cation, the Silver State ranks down at the bottom with the likes of Mississippi, American Samoa and the Aleutian Islands. It was always kinda funny…’til now. Below are a couple o’ recent examples of Nevada-educated political-types.



Yesterday, Senator Harry Reid was asked about releasing prisoners from Gitmo. His response?

REID: I’m saying that the United States Senate, Democrats and Republicans, do not want terrorists to be released in the United States. That’s very clear.

QUESTION: No one’s talking about releasing them. We’re talking about putting them in prison somewhere in the United States.

REID: Can’t put them in prison unless you release them.

QUESTION: Sir, are you going to clarify that a little bit? …

REID: I can’t make it any more clear than the statement I have given to you. We will never allow terrorists to be released in the United States.


How in the hell did this guy get elected to the United States Senate? Oh yeah, Nevada voters. Aye caramba! Another example…


Senator John Ensign just got back from touring Gitmo. His analysis? He said average Americans would be “outraged because the kind of treatment (detainees) get is certainly not only better than anybody in an American prison, but they get better health care the average American citizen does.”


Just fucking great. Gitmo terrorists get better healthcare than the average Joe Blow and Ensign thinks that’s a good idea. Shows you what shitty healthcare Americans have. Better treatment than homegrown prisoners? Not. Close. American prisoners have the right to a speedy trial, they have the right to an attorney, they have the right of to be charged with a fucking crime. Those poor rat-bastards in Gitmo have one right…the right to be waterboarded ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-THREE TIMES!!!




You wanna know what Americans are outraged about Senator Douchebag? We’re outraged that you, Senator Reid and the rest of your ilk are shitting all over the Constitution and spinning it as a way to “keep America safe.” HOGWASH! We’re gonna say this again, ‘cause y’all obviously haven’t been payin’ attention.


A politician’s job isn’t to “keep America safe.” Politicians swear an oath to "uphold the Constitution of the United States of America." So far, Senators Reid and Ensign have been doin’ a piss-poor job of it. Two great examples of Nevada-educated dumbasses. Good thing we’ve got elections comin’ up. When we’re through tossin’ the bums out, Reid and Ensign can go back to workin’ at the drive thru. Just be careful what you order.


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Stand By Your Man

It’s nice to see a woman standing by her man. Today, the L-Bush said that history will vindicate WPE. If history means some kind of war-crimes trial and if vindicate means convicted of treason and hung by the neck until dead…then yeah…history will vindicate Chimp Dick. How do we know? We know history. Here’s some of the highlights of Mrs. Bush’s husband’s last seven years:






Ignored warnings about OBL leading up to 9/11



Falsely promised Americans a Hydrogen fuel cell



$4.00+ for a gallon of gas



Lied about WMD’s



No exit strategy from Iraq



Still haven’t found OBL



Tax cuts for the rich that hurt the poor




Non-support for the new G.I. Bill



Suspension of Habeas Corpus



Indefinite detention of Gitmo prisoners



Allowed torture of prisoners




Outed a CIA agent in political retaliation in a time of war



Illegally eavesdropped on American citizens



Politicized the State and Justice Departments



Whiffed on Katrina






We could go on…and on…and on…but to what end? REAL Americans already know GWB is the WPE. Tighty-righty Bush-Wipes are praying history will look more kindly on him. Hindsight may be 20/20 L-Bush…but we see just fine right now.





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