Pissin' 'Em Off

We got into an office pool a while back. The object was to try to figure out which group o’ folks the ‘Bamer was gonna get pissed off first. We chose tighty-righty ‘cause we thought BHOb was gonna take down Dr. Evil on war crimes charges. We were wrong. Nothing unusual there. What is unusual is that he pissed off…wait for it…wait for it…the GAYS! Uh oh.

The GLBT folks are mad, and rightly so, ‘cause the President-elect chose BSC Rick Warren to give the invocation at the inauguration. Rick Fuckin’ Warren. What, Adolph Hitler Campbell wasn’t available? Anyway…that got us to thinkin’ ‘bout who else Barry-O coulda picked to lay out an opening prayer and who that would have pissed off…

Reverend Jeremiah Wright would be the pick that pissed off everyone that still thinks Sadaam Hussein was behind 9/11, that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are still winnable and people who think it’s O.K. to give $700 Billion to the moneychangers.

Bishop Thomas Muthee getting picked would piss off VPILF Sarah Palin, alleged Kenyan witches, accused Kenyan witches and actual Kenyan witches.

FLDS President Warren Jeffs as a pick would piss off anyone who’s never been married, anyone who’s been married to Warren Jeffs and the entire state of Utah.

Picking Pastor Ted Haggard would piss off meth addicts, male prostitutes and the entire membership of National Association of Evangelicals.

You see…no matter who the ‘Bamer picked for his inaugural invocation, someone was gonna get mad. That is, unless he picked the rotted corpse of Mother Theresa to give the invocation. She probably doesn't look much different.

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We sure would like religion a lot more if the people who practiced it…practiced what they preached. Not. Gonna. Happen.




The other day a Catholic priest in South Carolina told his parishioners that he wouldn’t give them holy communion if they voted for the Barack Obama. That’s cause he says Barry-O is the most radical, pro-abortion politician in Washington. So, a vote for the ‘Bamer is a vote for killing unborn chillens. Here’s what we don’t get: Since a vote for Obama is a vote for killing people not born yet, isn’t a vote for McCain, who supports the Iraq war, a vote for killing people already born? SHEESH! Typical religions…they only care about you before you’re born and after you die. In between…you’re on your own.




Lastly, the video from above. Seems the Greek and Armenian Orthodox churches have a lot more in common than crappy music, really gay lookin’ outfits and porn-quality facial hair. They friggin’ HATE each other. So much so, that this kinda thing happens all the time. One group takes too much time dinkin’ around in Jzeus’ birthplace. Next thing you know…POW! The place starts lookin' like a Snoop Dogg concert. You see, the SoG preached something to the effect of “Love thy neighbor.” “Turn the other cheek.” And “Whatever you do to the least of my people you do unto me.” These douchebags didn’t hear a word of it. Jzeus must be spinning in His grave!




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Mark Foley - Pedophile

Skeevy Mark Foley is back in the news. Seems the former Republican Congressman doesn’t think there was anything wrong in sending icky text messages to male pages – 17-year-old male pages. Foley says that he isn’t a pedophile because the pages were, “teens on the brink of adulthood” and that not one of the pages told him to stop. Yo Mark…you took advantage of your position of authority to get your rocks off with kids not even old enough to vote. You’re sick, you’re in denial and you should be in jail. But that’s just our thought.





Speaking of 18 year olds: One of the head honchos of the State Gaming Control Board wants to lower the legal age for gamblers to 18. Dennis Neilander says that’ll boost the Silver State’s gaming revenue. Really? While we’ve always believed here at PTB that if you’re old enough to die for your country in a war, you should be able to buy alcohol or gamble. But, is lowering the gambling age gonna help casinos’ bottom lines? No. Why? Because the 18-21 crowd has about as much disposable income as a Haitian goat farmer. We’ve beat this dead horse a million times so a million and one won’t hurt. Wanna increase revenues in Nevada? Make prostitution and marijuana legal throughout the state. It would free up cops to go after the really bad guys, it would free up jail and prison space for those same bad guys and it would put us back on the map as the preeminent place to have fun. Governor Gibbons…the ball is in your court.





Now that the ‘Bamer is prepping to move into the White House, speculation has been growing over the dog he’s gonna get. Peru even offered up one of its national pooches. Question: If the ‘Bamer is Muslim…wouldn’t he get a pet goat or a pet snake? Why get a dog? Why not a presidential cat or a White House goldfish? Yo Barry-O…we’ve got the perfect pet for you…how ‘bout you get a pet cracker? We sure would like to see some whitey runnin’ ‘round the grounds with a collar on. We’d give up our reparation money to see that!




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Must Be Monday

Bookies from Down Under are holding back payin’ the folks who bet the ‘Bamer would be the next Commander-In-Chief of the USofA. They say he could get JFK’d before he’s inaugurated. SHEESH! Talk about puttin’ a noonan on the guy. Look, there a lot of BSC, redneck, huckleberries out there and you know they wanna stir the shit. But if the powers that be can’t protect the President from some wack-job, why are they there in the first place? Besides…if someone wanted to wax a U.S. President, they’d have knocked off Chimp-Dick. Worst. President. Ever.





Good to see political observers here in the 775 thinkin’ that VPILF Sarah Palin has a bright future in the Republican Party. YEE HAW! Now, y’all know we love the ladies here at PTB -- best thing the Good Lord ever made. But if Caribou Barbie is the best female the tighty-righties can come up with, they’re in deep doo doo. C’mon guys… she didn’t know what countries made up NAFTA, she thought Africa was a country and she thought foreign policy experience was seeing Russia out her back door. YIKES! The Republican Party has officially become the party of dolts. Ronald Reagan must be spinning in his grave.



And finally today…we’ve gotta give credit where credit is due. Over the weekend THE University of Nevada put a tub-thumpin’ on Fresno State. The way the Wolf Pack played Saturday, you’d think they could beat the friggin' Pittsburgh Steelers. But that’s the problem we’ve always had with the Pack…one week they look like world-beaters, the next week...just weak. Consistency is the key for a good football program. Here’s hoping we get more of it. After all…it’s much better to be playing a bowl game between Christmas and New Years than to be playing in a bowl the week before Thanksgiving.



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Thursday Thought Burbles

SHEESH. A brother gets elected President and the stock market dumps 400 points. If you ever wondered how many crackers run Wall Street, wonder no more.



Today the ‘Bamer gets his first daily security briefing. Do you think he’ll ignore the “Bin Laden intent on Flying Planes into the World Trade Center” memo? Chimp-Dick did. The ‘Bamer won’t.



It’s good to see more than eighty percent of eligible voters in the NV bellied up to the polls. We bet a big slice of those folks voted early. Like we’ve said before…voting should last all month. We’ve got to give folks every opportunity to get out there.



Thirty-seven civilians dead from a U.S. airstrike in Afghanistan. They were at a friggin’ wedding for cryin’ out loud. This is the kind of clusterfuck that keeps people hatin’ on Americans. Wanna make a couple dozen new terrorists? Just blow up a wedding party. That’ll do it.



Alaska…the most socialist state in the union, wants to keep it that way. It looks like the folks up north are gonna reelect Ted Stevens. SHEESH! The guy is a convicted felon but he keeps his job ‘cause he brings in so much pork for the state. Bridge to nowhere anyone?



FULL DISCLOSURE: Every time you watch television, we here at PTB get one million dollars. A new study out says that kids who watch sexy TV shows are more likely to get pregnant than those who watch stuff like the Disney Channel. Puh-Leeze. Hey parents…television shows don’t get your teen preggers…intercourse does. What sucks here is that mom & pop need a scapegoat when little Timmy or little Buffy makes a baby so they blame the boob tube. Think about it…if sexy TV shows make it more likely you’ll get knocked up…we’d better keep the little ones away from daytime soap operas!



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