He Doesn't Know Dick

Dr. Evil has been in the news a lot lately. Funny thing coming from the brotherhubbard that had Google Earth blur out his house for eight years. But like it or not, Dick Cheney is flappin’ his lie-hole and the whole world seems to be listening.

Yesterday, the former Veep took to the airwaves to…get this…defend gay marriage. Aye caramba! WTF did that come from? While he does have a gay daughter, Dick and his compatriots in the Bush administration never were the types to embrace those “afflicted with the Gay.” Guess times they are a changin’. But not that much. You see, Cheney had a caveat to his assertion that gay peeps should be allowed to get hitched. He said that marriage is, and always has been a state issue. "And I think that's the way it ought to be handled today, that is, on a state-by-state basis.” And that’s why Dick Cheney, in our humble opinion, is dumber than a sack of doorknobs.

It wasn’t that long ago that blacks couldn’t get married in certain states ‘cause they were considered “property.” An even shorter time ago, blacks and whites were not allowed to get married to each other in certain states because some racist rat-bastards thought it was immoral. Hell, if Alabama, Mississippi and the rest of the redneck, huckleberry states had their way, blacks still wouldn’t be allowed to marry.

No Dick…gay marriage shouldn’t be decided willy-nilly on the whim of some cracker-ass government-cheese dick in a state where the most common kinfolk is “Uncle-Dad.” This is America. We’re not supposed to roll like that. So we’re gonna toss you a soft one. Remember the Declaration of Independence?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

That’s right Dick. Straight from the pen of TJ hisself. ALL men are created equal…that includes the men who like men, women who like women and all the peeps in between who love ‘em both. That's how we roll.

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Silver Tongues from the Silver State

Every time a report is issued talkin’ ‘bout edu-ma-cation, the Silver State ranks down at the bottom with the likes of Mississippi, American Samoa and the Aleutian Islands. It was always kinda funny…’til now. Below are a couple o’ recent examples of Nevada-educated political-types.



Yesterday, Senator Harry Reid was asked about releasing prisoners from Gitmo. His response?

REID: I’m saying that the United States Senate, Democrats and Republicans, do not want terrorists to be released in the United States. That’s very clear.

QUESTION: No one’s talking about releasing them. We’re talking about putting them in prison somewhere in the United States.

REID: Can’t put them in prison unless you release them.

QUESTION: Sir, are you going to clarify that a little bit? …

REID: I can’t make it any more clear than the statement I have given to you. We will never allow terrorists to be released in the United States.


How in the hell did this guy get elected to the United States Senate? Oh yeah, Nevada voters. Aye caramba! Another example…


Senator John Ensign just got back from touring Gitmo. His analysis? He said average Americans would be “outraged because the kind of treatment (detainees) get is certainly not only better than anybody in an American prison, but they get better health care the average American citizen does.”


Just fucking great. Gitmo terrorists get better healthcare than the average Joe Blow and Ensign thinks that’s a good idea. Shows you what shitty healthcare Americans have. Better treatment than homegrown prisoners? Not. Close. American prisoners have the right to a speedy trial, they have the right to an attorney, they have the right of to be charged with a fucking crime. Those poor rat-bastards in Gitmo have one right…the right to be waterboarded ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-THREE TIMES!!!




You wanna know what Americans are outraged about Senator Douchebag? We’re outraged that you, Senator Reid and the rest of your ilk are shitting all over the Constitution and spinning it as a way to “keep America safe.” HOGWASH! We’re gonna say this again, ‘cause y’all obviously haven’t been payin’ attention.


A politician’s job isn’t to “keep America safe.” Politicians swear an oath to "uphold the Constitution of the United States of America." So far, Senators Reid and Ensign have been doin’ a piss-poor job of it. Two great examples of Nevada-educated dumbasses. Good thing we’ve got elections comin’ up. When we’re through tossin’ the bums out, Reid and Ensign can go back to workin’ at the drive thru. Just be careful what you order.


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Home Sick

Yeah…we know the economy is tight. But here in the 775 we have no one to blame but ourselves. Ya see, NoNV voted overwhelmingly for Chimp-Dick and Doctor Evil back in ‘04. Heck, the only Congressional District to be even MORE in favor of the pResident-In-Chief is that creepy northern Mississippi district where the most common relations are “Uncle-Dad” and “Cousin-Ma.”


The crux of the biscuit today is…



Why do the taxpayers of Nevada have to fund a mansion for the Governor to live in when he doesn’t even live there? How many servants, cooks, maids, butlers and security guards are we paying for so GJG can have a place to entertain his bourgie guests?



Yo Guv…you’ve ordered everyone in the state to cut back on costs. Maybe you should do the same. You could start with the Governor’s Mansion...you know...the one you don't live in anymore.


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