Out With the Old and In With the New...PLEASE!

The 00’s rolled in with the Republicans bitching and moaning about hanging chads and how their boy the Bush-Wipe won. Stormin’ the Florida recount like they were Uncle Adolph’s jackbooted thugs.

And now the 10’s roll in and it’s pretty much the same.

Tighty-righties whining and complaining about death panels and Kenyan birth certificates and hijacking town hall meetings like…well, like Uncle Adolph’s jackbooted thugs. SHEESH!

I was gonna spend lots and Lots and LOTS of time today rambling on about what a mess Chimp-Dick made out of things but I wanna keep things light. Today, I just wanna kick this fucked up decade to the curb and start a new one. After all, it can't be as bad as the last one. Can it?

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Ute? Uhhh...What's A Ute?

Moneychangers

Last year at this time the banking and insurance sectors were on the verge of collapse. Via the federal government and the Bush Administration, American taxpayers bailed them out. Now the banking and insurance industries are reaping record profits and giving out huge executive bonuses. And the American taxpayer? SOL. Next time someone tries to sell you on the idea of trickle down economics…kick him in the cajones. He won’t feel it, but it will make you feel better.

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War is Heck When You're a Dick

Eight Years That Seemed Like 80

I was gonna commemorate the eighth anniversary of 9/11 with a rant against Chimp-Dick and the rest of the Bush-Wipes. After all, it was on their watch when the shitstorm happened. And pretty much, it's been downhill ever since. But I just can't bring myself to do it. Some wounds are slow to heal. So, on this sad day y'all get John Wayne's America, Why I Love Her. Ya know, Marion Morrison may have been a draft dodging, Hollywood elitist but he surely did this one up right. See y'all on Monday, I'll be in more of a fighting spirit then.


(8.-)

Ace Hole

The story says that Nevada is among the worst states in the entire USo’A in the enforcement of payment of child support. Figures. How can you expect Reno-911 to be out there perp-walkin’ deadbeat dads when they’re so busy hasslin’ burners for burnin’, kids on skateboards and shopkeepers sellin’ hooch to 20-year-olds? SHEESH!


President Obama gave a speech to the nation’s youth today and the tighty-righties have their Underoos in a bunch. They say it is an indoctrination of our children into the ‘Bamer’s fascist ideology. Hey chucklenuts, if you actually could spell well enough to look up the word “fascism,” you’d know how BSC y’all sound for sayin’ it. Besides…could anything be worse for kids than My Pet Goat? Losers.


Obama advisor and “Green Czar” Van Jones resigned over the weekend ‘cause he said that the government-cheese was involved in 9/11 and he called republicans “assholes.” Well, he wears the kind of tinfoil hat that lets him believe that the Bush-Wipes could plan anything correctly, maybe he should have resigned. But calling republicans assholes…ummm…Didn’t Dick call a fellow member of the Senate a “fucker”? Oh yeah…and Dick is the one who still thinks Iraq had something to do with 9/11. Democrats say dumb things and have to resign…republicans say (and do) dumb things and they’re promoted to the head of the party. Be afraid tighty-righties…2010 is right around the corner and y’all are gonna get smoked like a Cuban cigar. Aye caramba!


And finally, a mea culpa. That’s right. I was wrrr…wrrr….wrong. Earlier this year I predicted that the Reno Aces were gonna fall flat on their, well…aces. Boy did I screw the pooch on that one. All summer long the Aces drew decent crowds, played pretty exciting baseball and proved the old adage…”When PTB makes his predictions, get rich by betting the other way.” True dat.

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Nothing to Sneeze At

Earlier this month I posted about Nazi Germany’s bad-assed Stealth bomber. That puppy is one beautiful machine! ANYWAY…on that post I blathered on about how the Nazis woulda won WWII if the BSC little Austrian wasn’t in charge. The world certainly woulda been a different place. How different? Well, for starters, the USoA would have Universal Healthcare. Free medical for life in exchange for douchebag Nazis in charge? Well…they couldn’t have been any worse than the Bush-Wipes.



Speaking of the Bush-Wipes and Universal Healthcare…an open question to Governor Mark “of the Beast” Sanford, Senator John “Able Semen” Ensign and Senator David “Twitter” Vitter:
You chucklenuts all believe that JZeus’ Dad handpicked your sorry asses to help govern this great nation of ours. All y’all are members of the “C-Street” gang and believe in spreading the gospel on taxpayer time and money. That aside…Do you think JZeus would vote for or against Universal Healthcare? Gotcha! You see, no matter how many times you say you’re a Christian, your actions prove that all of you are nothing more than political opportunists, Republican party hacks and soulless, cold-hearted rat-bastard, hypocrites.



One quick story from the 775. The University of Nevada football team has been picked in a couple of polls to finish second to Boise State in the WAC Conference this year. Great. Getting picked to finish second in the WAC is kinda like bein’ the second prettiest “girl” on the all-male cellblock. Aye caramba!


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MeTarded

Me-Tard (adj) Someone who is so self-centered as to seem dumb to "normal" people.




If you’re gonna vote for John McCain just’cause his running mate is a smokin’ hot VPILF…you might be a MeTard.


If you wag your morally righteous finger in our face and warn us about eternal damnation then turn around and let your teenage daughter get knocked up…you might be a MeTard.


If you think that a storm hitting the Gulf Coast is God’s way of punishing the gays…you might be a MeTard.


If you think anyone in the USo’A beside the Bush-Wipes gives one shizzle about the Russia/Georgia conflict…you might be a MeTard.


If you think the Invisible Man in the Sky cares about who wins the Super Bowl, the Presidential election or the war in Iraq…you might be a MeTard.


If you think teen pregnancy, gay sex or burning the American flag is immoral…you might be a MeTard.


If you think the media is liberal but don’t realize that images of flag-draped coffins are totally absent from the nightly news…you might be a MeTard.


And finally…


If you believe one campaign promise from one candidate will be kept…you’re not only a MeTard…you might wanna check the note pinned to your shirt. That’ll tell you who you are, where you need to go and who’s gonna claim you.


(8.-)

August Surprise

We get the feelin’ ‘round here that the worm is starting to turn. Check it out…


Today Rice-A-Condi and Iraqi officials started to discuss a timeline for U.S. Troop withdrawls. YAY!


Gas and oil prices are dropping faster than the anchor of the Titanic. Woo-Hoo!


Housing prices are rising and home foreclosures are falling. Yee-HAW!


Hmmm…October surprises aren’t supposed to happen this far away from an election so we got to thinkin’.


Russia invades Georgia and all of a sudden the Cold War heats back up quicker than old pizza in a microwave. Boogity Boogity!


Not once in the last week has Senator McSkeevy mentioned Afghanistan or Iraq. Uh oh.


The crux of today’s biscuit is simple…How come things are getting good right before the election? How come Russia decided to be a bad guy allegedly right before the election? We’re not conspiracy theorists here at PTB but we wouldn’t put anything past the Neocon Bush-Wipes. Fasten your seatbelts folks…this could be a bumpy ride.


(8.-)

Georgia on My Mind

Turns out the Big Bad Bear isn’t dead after all. Russia is puttin’ a beatdown on their little runaway -- Georgia. Most Americans hear that sorta news and wonder how that’ll affect the upcoming SEC football season. That’s the wrong Georgia guys. ANYWAY…



So the Russians are kickin’ a little ass and the tighty-righties have their knickers all in a bunch. pResident Bush says that Russia is using unacceptably harsh force in the situation. Funny, we said the same thing to the Bush-Wipe about Iraq and we were called traitors. But what lame duck chimp-dick says really doesn’t affect anyone anymore. What we’re worried about is skeevy John McSame.



Yup…old Uncle Fester is saber rattling. He yaps that Georgia is one of our BFF’s and that we’ll stick our wieners in the blender to help ‘em out. No mention of how broken our armed forces are ‘cause of Iraq and Afghanistan. Nope…just threats of violence. Here’s the crux of our biscuit today:



Does anyone wonder why Senator McLame is so hell-bent on stickin’ it to the Russkies? We don’t wonder ‘cause we know. Ever heard of Randy Scheunemann? We have. Ya see, Scheunemann is one of those neocons who’s job was to get us into a war with Iraq. Good work Randy. For almost four years, Schheunemann was the only Washington lobbyist working for the country of Georgia. Today Scheunemann is a senior foreign affairs advisor to…you guessed it…Senator John McCain. If that isn’t the stinkiest, steaming piece of horse-cadoodle…we don't know what is. You wonder why we hate politicians? Perfect. Example.


(8.-)

Better Off Dead

Historically, the Republican Party claims they're the party of small government.

Historically, the Republican Party claims they’re best able to defend America against her enemies.

Historically, the Republican Party claims they're the party of fiscal responsibility.

Historically. Now?

The federal government has grown more since 2000 than at any other time since the Great Depression.

So much for small government.

The Bush Administration was 22% into their term and republicans had control of the House and Senate for more than eight years on 9/11.

So much for keeping the country safe.

Today the White House has increased its 2009 deficit forecast to almost 500 BILLION dollars. When the Bush-Wipes took office the national debt was 5.6 trillion dollars. Now? More than 9.5 trillion dollars.

So much for fiscal responsibility.

“Tell them a lie, make it big, keep it simple, keep saying it and eventually they’ll believe it.” – Adolph Hitler

When they tell you they care about America…they’re lying! Remember that when you vote.

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