Third Degree

When I was growin’ up, breaking the Third Commandment got you a Lifebouy dinner date. True story. I never understood why anyone would give a schnizzle when I said, “God damn.” It’s not like JZeus’ Dad was gonna actually damn what the hell I wanted Him to damn. And, after all, if sticks and stones can break my bones but words would never hurt me, why would the Invisible Man in the Sky get bent out of shape over a couple of words?

Later in life, a smart man explained to me that saying God damn wasn’t taking the Lord’s name in vain but saying God told you to do something, was. Now the Third Commandment is my favorite of all the Commandments. Why? Because people can lie to me but they cannot lie to themselves and no, God Didn’t tell them to do ANYTHING! But that doesn’t stop athletes from thanking God for letting them win the big one…or actors thanking God for letting them win a Grammy…or soldiers thanking God for stopping a bullet. The latest to claim Divine intervention? Nevada’s own Sharron Angle.

Last week, the wannabe U.S. Senator from the great state of Nevada said that she’s running against Harry Reid because that’s what God has planned for her. Really? God hates Harry Reid? God is a closet Teabagger? Don’t you think if God wanted Social Security and Medicare dismantled, He could do it Himself? And why Sharron Angle? Why not just talk to the guy that is already in there? Does God think Senator Reid is incompetent? If so, why doesn’t He just zap Reid with a lightning bolt, or give him the plague or, even worse, haunt him with images of Sharron Angle? You know why? Because none of it is true. God didn’t tell Sharron Angle to run for the senate any more than he told voters to give a Grammy to Milli Vanilli. No, Sharron Angle is using God as a supernatural endorsement thinking Nevadans will believe she’s the candidate God wants in office. Maybe God wants her in office, here’s hoping Nevadan’s don’t.

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Gluttony or Punishment

The Government-Cheese has spent hundreds of billions of dollars bailing out credit card companies so those companies can give Joe the Plumber credit he doesn’t have to buy more crap that he really doesn’t need. We’ve become a country filled with consumer assholes. Sad, really. But since we’re (allegedly) a “Christian nation”, we’ve gotta ask, “What would JZeus do about Haiti? Those folks sure are in a world of hurt. It makes our financial crisis look petty in comparison.




We always remember what the Son of the Invisible Man in the Sky says about “the least of my children”…something along the lines of whatever you do to them you do to Me. Is there a country in the Western Hemisphere more in need than Haiti? No. And what does the USofA do to help? Nothing. So, we’re trotting out our old standby, hoping PTB readers will step up to the proverbial plate (no pun intended).




By clicking this link, you’ll be directed to “Free Rice.com” Answer questions on English vocabulary, geography, chemistry, math, even classic art and for every right answer, they’ll donate rice to the United Nations Food Bank. It doesn’t cost anything but some time and a few brain cells, you’ll be doing more for starving people in the world than any bobblehead politician and if you believe, you might even get props from JZeus himself. Reward enough for any true "Christian."


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