Wednesday Wonderings

Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi got creamed a couple of days ago when a BSC motherhubbard tossed a marble statue that hit him square in the mug. YOUCH! But am I the only one in the world who saw that story and instantly thought, “Why couldn’t the Iraqi shoe dude been that accurate?”

As the healthcare debate rambles through the Senate I got to thinking. Do you know anyone, that doesn’t have healthcare, who is against reform and a public option? I didn’t think so. Seems like the only people against healthcare reform are the ones who already have health insurance.

An new study, just released by the Census Bureau, says that by 2050 whites won’t make up the majority of citizens in the USo’A. If you go outside sometime today, cup your hand to your ear and listen very closely. That funny sound? That’s the sound of Lou Dobbs’ sphincter crushing a lump of coal into the world’s most perfect diamond. True dat.

@:
:@

Daddy's War Bucks

Ya know, I get a lot of flak from the “tinfoil hat” crowd over their assertions that I have a bromance with the ‘Bamer. Heck-fire, it’s kinda funny considering I’ve never been a fan of no man. But they’ve got to understand that after the eight years we had of Chimp Dick and Dr. Evil, anyone woulda been better. That said, Barry-O has been pissing in my Corn Flakes lately.



When Prezzy B. was running for office, he promised to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He promptly did the douchebag move and forgot about getting out of Iraq. And now, he’s considering escalating in Afghanistan. He says he wants the U.S. to stay ‘til the job is done. Aye caramba! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Afghanistan is where empires go to die. And we’re gonna be there ‘til America, as a country, isn’t any better than Finland (apologies to my Finnish brotherhubbards). Yo Barry-O, you wanna get the job done? How ‘bout spending some of that free money on creating jobs here at home and less money on making new terrorists?



The other thing that’s cheesing me off about Chocolate JZeus, is his reticence on healthcare reform. Look, y’all aren’t gonna get one vote from the tighty-righties, so why not “pull a Bush” on ‘em and ram the motherhubbard down their throats anyway? I know, I know, you’re gonna get republicans sayin’ we can’t afford it and that they don’t want a government-cheese bureaucrat making people’s health decisions. Question:



Why is it that we have unlimited trillions of dollars to blow up brown-skinded brothers in far away lands but we don’t have enough money to help our own poor, sick and dying? Next time I hear a politician waxing poetic about America being a “Christian nation,” I’m gonna break my foot off in his John Brown hindpot. True dat.



And last question: Yo republicans! Y’all say you are against bureaucrats meddling in a person’s medical choices. So how come y’all keep sticking your anglo-bourgie cracker noses into a woman’s lawful right to choose? Hypocrites.



@:
:@

Socialism at Work

You see...if you say you're against socialism,
you're against cops
and firefighters
and teachers
and our socialized military.


You want to keep giving your money to the fat-cat insurance companies? Go right ahead. But I'd rather those moneychangers get kicked to the curb.


You know who the insurance industry sounds like nowadays? The guys who used to make buggy whips that started whining when the car was invented. Don't worry folks...with a little bit of luck, that industry will soon be taking a dirt nap. True dat.


@:
:@

Palin Comparison

There’s a lot of buzz goin’ ‘round about how fast VPILF Sarah Palin wrote her memoirs. C’mon guys…don’t you know that hot air and bullshit flow outta her lie-hole like black gold out of Jed Clampett’s back yard? True dat.

I saw Rep. John Boehner today talkin’ about the Barry-O’s lack of a clear plan in Afghanistan. SHEESH! Yo Bone-Thug…where was you condescending tone and righteous indignation when the Bush-Wipe started this clusterfuck? Oh right. He’s your boy. You want a strategy for Afghanistan? Get the fuck out. It sure would be better than what we have now.

And finally…a couple of weeks back a bunch of Catholic bishops thumbed their noses at the ‘Bamer’s proposed healthcare plan. Since the cadre of Padres is opposed to abortion, they’ve got to weigh that against their concerns about social justice. So they’re against the whole thing. SHEESH! Talk about a one trick pony. Yo Catholic Bishops…you might not support abortion (just like I don’t support y’all pedophilin’ with altar boys) but I’m gonna ask y’all the same question I’ve been askin’ for years. Would JZeus support Universal Healthcare? I’m betting he would.


@:

:@

Ted's Dead Baby...Ted's Dead

So Teddy-K is takin’ a dirt nap. Ya know…if any of us regular chucklenuts out here woulda got brain cancer like he did, with the healthcare system we’ve got in the USo’A, we’d all be bankrupt now. No such worries for Ted’s fam, though…he got free medical insurance the minute he was elected to office. That’s forty years of free, taxpayer-supported, top-of-the-line socialized medical treatment. Funny, the politicians who spout off about how bad socialized medicine is are the same ones who have the government-cheese pay for everything. Hypocrites.

A list of who’s happiest that TK kicked the bucket:

1. John Ensign’s parents
2. Mark Sanford’s wee wee
3. Michael Jackson’s doctor
4. Michael Vick’s new teammates
5. Jim Gibbons’ Stimulus Czar
6. Anyone related to Mary Jo Kopechne

But you know who suffers most from this 24 hour news cycle of constantly changing stories? Our brave men and women in uniform. It’s bad enough bein’ in the suck that is Iraq and Afghanistan for no good reason other than to get your ass shot off. But those poor bastards are so yesterday’s story that four of ‘em can get IED’ed in one day and it doesn’t even make the news. Oh yeah…and Beau Bergdahl…GET BACK SOON BEAU! These rat-bastard politicians say they support our troops, now is the time that you see it’s just that…only words.


@:

:@

Newtered

I saw Newt Gingrich the other day blatherin’ on about Universal Healthcare. You know the Newt-ster. He’s the rat-bastard that was tellin’ us how JZeus talks to him and that gay marriage is bad and that we needed a constitutional amendment to save heterosexual marriage from all those gay people. All the while, he was bangin’ his paramour. Hypocrite. ANYWAY…


Newt was pretty adamant when he said we “shouldn‘t trust the government on these important issues.” He implied that there is no role for the government to play when a person makes decisions about his or her health choices. This from the same party that says a woman’s right to an abortion is wrong. Yo Newter…If you think the government-cheese should stay away from healthcare decisions, WTF were you the one leading the fight to keep Terri Schiavo plugged in over the objections of her family?


No, the republicans don’t want Government run healthcare. They want to leave that up to the insurance companies...

and the pharmaceutical companies...

and the big-time for-profit corporate hospitals.


Same as it ever was.

@:
:@

Bible Belted

Nothing to Sneeze At

Earlier this month I posted about Nazi Germany’s bad-assed Stealth bomber. That puppy is one beautiful machine! ANYWAY…on that post I blathered on about how the Nazis woulda won WWII if the BSC little Austrian wasn’t in charge. The world certainly woulda been a different place. How different? Well, for starters, the USoA would have Universal Healthcare. Free medical for life in exchange for douchebag Nazis in charge? Well…they couldn’t have been any worse than the Bush-Wipes.



Speaking of the Bush-Wipes and Universal Healthcare…an open question to Governor Mark “of the Beast” Sanford, Senator John “Able Semen” Ensign and Senator David “Twitter” Vitter:
You chucklenuts all believe that JZeus’ Dad handpicked your sorry asses to help govern this great nation of ours. All y’all are members of the “C-Street” gang and believe in spreading the gospel on taxpayer time and money. That aside…Do you think JZeus would vote for or against Universal Healthcare? Gotcha! You see, no matter how many times you say you’re a Christian, your actions prove that all of you are nothing more than political opportunists, Republican party hacks and soulless, cold-hearted rat-bastard, hypocrites.



One quick story from the 775. The University of Nevada football team has been picked in a couple of polls to finish second to Boise State in the WAC Conference this year. Great. Getting picked to finish second in the WAC is kinda like bein’ the second prettiest “girl” on the all-male cellblock. Aye caramba!


@:
:@