Winter Olympic Wonderings

The IOC not letting women in the ski jumping competition is a misogynistic, bass-ackward, fucked up position to take. Hey Jaques Rogge, y’all afraid to get your ass handed to you by a girl? Change the damned rule already and "LET THEM PLAY...LET THEM PLAY..."

Just ‘cause I only get to say this every four years…Dick Pound… Dick Pound… Dick Pound. HAW! That NEVER gets old.

So, U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn bruised up her shin and to help with the healing she…wait for it….wait for it…she wrapped it with cheese. Aye caramba! What kind of medical staff do we have for our Olympic team? Dr. Pepper?

The unintentional comedy meter was getting quite a workout during the opening ceremonies. From skeevy Bob Costas trying WAY too hard to be funny (he wasn’t) to the fiddle playin’, river dancin’ Frenchies (isn’t river dancin’ Irish?) the whole night was a hoot. Funniest moment though, was when the Great One had to stand there while they figured out how to fix a technical malfunction. Poor brotherhubbard was sweatin’ like a hound dog tryin’ to poop a peach pit. High comedy indeed. I guess the only thing better than a prop malfunction woulda been a wardrobe malfunction. I’d have paid to see that. True story.

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Moral Minority

Our friends on the right keep reminding us how much we rag on Republican politicians. That may be so, but we remind ‘em back that we’re equal opportunity haters here at PTB. That’s why we were psyched to hear about the travails of U.S. Representative Tim Mahoney.


Mahoney, a Florida Democrat, won his seat by promising to “return morals and family values to Washington” after Republican Mark Foley resigned. You remember creepy Mark Foley dontcha? He’s the skeezer that got busted sending lurid text messages to male pages. Icky. Turns out Mahoney is just as icky. Seems he’s been’ boinkin’ a couple of hotties on the side without telling his wife. Uh oh.



Now, we don’t really mind people cheating on their spouses. Heck, in Europe if you don’t cheat, you’re not tryin’. No, what we do mind is the hypocrisy of these two douchebags and the rest of their ilk. Look, if you’re cheating…go for it. Heck, have one on us. But if you ARE cheating, quit with the holier-than-thou crap and the God references and the family values shtick. Because on the outside, you spout fire and brimstone about people putting tab “A” into slot “B”, you get all insulted over Janet Jackson’s niblet and all the while, on the inside, you’re just as pervy as the rest of us. You might not be able to see it…but we can.



(8.-)

Speak Up!

Here at PTB y’all know where we stand on the subject of freedom of speech. Absolute. C’mon, this is America…right? TJ and BFrank and all those other crazy sexy-dressin' old crackers put speech right up there at number one for a reason…they knew that sticks and stones were the preferred weapon of an enemy because words were not very hurtful.

But nowadays…there is no such thing as FOS in America -- it's all selective at best.

You can go on television and say that “the tornado was caused by the wrath of God” but you can’t go on television and drop an accidental “F” bomb (or booby).

You (allegedly) can’t yell fire in a crowded theater but you can yell theater in a crowded fire house.

You can’t even utter words like bomb, explosion, terrorist, hijacking, crash or F#@K George Bush in an airport unless you want the Feds perp walking you to Gitmo. Is that free speech? No.

Ever blogged about your boss looking at you like you were a sexual toy or how your company rapes the environment or how your biggest client uses undocumented child slave-labor? Nice post. But if you speeched it, you know you don’t have THAT job anymore. Free huh?

Here's the crux of our biscuit: We have no problem with the Westboro Baptist Church protesting at funerals. It is a free country…right? The problem we have, is that the same people condemning the WBC for their “hurtful, hateful banners” didn’t say one word about the counter-protesters. Check out FX’s pic on Tuesday’s 5E. CP dude is sporting a Waffen Schutzstaffel insignia on his hat. That’s right…BSC’s Nazi SS. And he's supposed to be the GOOD guy?

If you're allowed to sport Nazi bling at an event, then “God Hates Fags” should be protected too. Free speech isn’t free speech unless everybody has it.


Everywhere.


All the time.


Don't worry folks...it won't hurt.

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