State of the Fate

If you're looking for some outstanding unintentional comedy tonight, just tune in to Governor Jim Gibbons' State of the State address tonight. And while you're watching and wondering if the stick up his ass has a stick up it's ass remember, Governor Gibbons has sworn that he hasn't had sex with anyone (including his wife) since the 1990's. That surely explains a lot, neh?

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Why it Sucks to be Black in Texas

We Don't Need No Ed-U-Ma-Ca-Shun

All across the 775 the government-cheese is slashing education ‘cause of budget shortfalls. Isn’t it funny that one of the first things those bobbleheads cut out of the budget is education? That got us to wondering…why?



Dumb kids = dumb adults #1. If you keep the population in perpetual stupidity, they aren’t likely to figure out they’re getting’ hosed by politicians. Remember, politicians are the ones promising that they love Nevada and want to help her citizens. Then they go off and eliminate funding for schools. Keep that in mind next time you’re in a voting booth. That is, if you’re smart enough to remember when to vote.



Dumb kids = dumb adults #2. Dumb adults do dumb things. They rob convenience stores, they cook up batches of meth in the garage and/or solicit gay sex in airport bathrooms. Dumb adults means we’ll always need more and more money for more and more cops.



Here’s the crux of today’s biscuit…if children really are the future, we’re screwed. We spend billions and billions and billions of dollars blowin’ up brown-skinded brothers in far away lands but we say we don’t have enough money to educate our kids. The youth of America lag behind every industrialized nation in things like science and math and reading…you know, the important stuff. WTF do you think they’re gonna be like when they’re all growed up? They’re gonna be fat, and lazy, and disinterested, and bolivious to the shit-storm swirling all around. And do you know who they have to blame? Nobody but you.



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A Hero Ain't Nothin' But A Sandwich

Creepy John McSame is in the 775 today. He’s trying to drum up votes here in the Silver State and that got us thinking…

Everyone knows Captain Mac was a pilot in the ‘Nam and got his multi-million dollar plane popped by a couple of rice farmers with a blowgun. Question: Does getting your ass shot down make you a hero or a shitty pilot?

The reason we ask, is that many in the right-wing corporate media (and even the senator himself) say that having been a fighter pilot makes McLame uniquely qualified to be our next president. We disagree. Why?

A couple of years ago the NV voted a former fighter pilot into the job of governor. Today the state is goin’ to purgatory in a purse, we’ve got no money and we’re cutting programs and services like it was a fire sale. Leadership? Non-existant.

So, it’s our conclusion that being a fighter pilot doesn’t automatically make you a good leader. Being a fighter pilot who got shot down makes you...well...an easy target. Our only consolation is that Uncle Fester is probably gonna name Skeevy Mr. Perfect Hair as his running mate. And we all remember what happened to Captain Mac’s last wingman!

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For a Few Dollars More

A politician is a pandering, grab-ass, cracker, bourgie, me first, adultering, glorified, snake oil selling, cute & fuzzy bunny.

A statesman is a visionary with a grasp of the situation, solutions to the problem and an eye on the future.

What we need here in the NV is more statesmen and fewer politicians.

When they say they love America and they're looking out for your interests...They're LYING!

We'll expect resignation papers shortly.

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Thought Bubbles

Gotta get some things off the proverbial chest…


If the state of Nevada is so hard-up for money and it costs between $35,000 and $60,000 a year to house an inmate; WTF has the state only executed eight percent of inmates on death row in the past 25 years? C’mon guys…we don’t wanna be like Texas here but SHEESH! They’re on DEATH ROW for a reason! Y’all could save money by starting there.



Uh oh…we see that former Nevada football player Tony Zendejas is having a bad day. Just goes to show you…once a Wolf Pack football player, always a Wolf Pack football player. Chris Ault’s career must be spinning in its grave.



What’s the big deal watching overpaid, over-hyped, uber-ego celebrities playing in a golf tournament? It would be one thing if Tiger, Phil and Vijay were battling it out on the links but the Donald, Bread Truck and Jack Friggin’ Wagner? No. Way.



JonBenet Ramsey’s family was cleared of any suspicion in her death by coppers down in the 303. Took ya long enough Joe Friday. It’s been more than a decade and there still isn’t a suspect. You’d think they’d have figured out SOMETHING by now. You’d think…but you’d be wrong.



And finally…we knew that “Tad the Bad” couldn’t stay off the airwaves very long. The only thing bigger than his waist is his massive ego. He actually thinks he looks good on camera. UGH! The brother gives new meaning to the term “wide shot.”



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