Number One With A Shot and a Chaser

Yee Haw!!! A new report out says that the 775 leads the entire USo’A in heavy drinking. WE’RE NUMBER ONE BAYBEE!!!! Actually, we have a problem with this study. The Center for disease control classifies a heavy drinker as a man who has more than two alcoholic drinks a day…for women, it's more than one per day. WTF kind of Puritanical rat-bastard came up with those numbers? SHEESH! Every hotel, casino, strip club, dance club, liquor store, grocery store and preschool in the 775 offers two for one drink specials. Two drinks? Heck-fire…beer goggles don’t even kick in ‘til the sixth drink!



The problem with studies like this is that they lump everyone into the same category. More than two drinks a day and they consider you an alcoholic. Don’t drink at all and they call you a saint...but not Saint Patrick. Here’s the crux of the biscuit: If you’re a moronic douchebag, it’s not the alcohol doing it…it’s you. Americans tend to play a lot of the blame game. They think their troubles are all caused by something other than themselves. Listen folks…it’s not the alcohol screwing up your life…you’re doing it yourself. Don’t let the Puritans convince you otherwise.




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Thanks for Giving, Eve

We sure hate to be a downer on the day before a holiday but SHEESH! Did you see that dude dirt napping turkeys behind VPILF Sarah Palin the other day? That video was skankier than Britney Spears’ coochie. YUCK! Makes us glad we eat pizza on Thanksgiving. We just don’t wanna see where pepperoni comes from. YIKES!



Yesterday, the RGJ headline read: “Jobless Benefits Extended for Nevadans.” It might just be the semantics of the wording but anyone who can find the benefit in being unemployed is looking at things through beer goggles.



We’ve always held the position that Islam treats its women like shit. They’ve gotta cover up from head to toe, they can’t drive and they can’t be seen in public with a man she’s not related to. Bass-ackward cave-dwelling rat-bastards. Well, it looks like things are loosening up. Yesterday a suicide bomber in Baghdad blew 13 people to smithereens. The bomber was a woman. Way to start treating women equally, douchebags. Islam better not promise women going to heaven 72 virgins. What the hell is a woman gonna do with 72 virgins? Not. Much.



A new report out there says that the Silver State needs better-educated workers. Hey, we’re all for better ed-u-ma-ca-tion, but right next to that story was the one about a proposed 25 percent tuition hike for Nevada’s colleges and universities. WTF is up with that? They say they need more educated workers then they turn around and make it financially harder for people to get into college. That sucks.



And finally today…the Little General said yesterday that if the Wolf Pack lost to La Tech this weekend but got invited to a bowl game anyway, he’d seriously consider not going. Yeah, right.


The chances of Nevada finishing 6-6? Maybe. The chances of Nevada finishing 6-6 and getting a bowl berth?...ANY bowl berth? Maybe. The chances of Chris Ault & Cary Groth declining a bowl invite...ANY bowl invite? Never. Gonna. Happen.



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