The Friend of My Enemy

Daimler-Benz built Nazi tanks to kill Americans...but the Germans are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive a Benzo.

Mitsubishi built Japanese Zeros to kill Americans... but the Japanese are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive a Montero.

Fiat made airplanes for Mussolini so his troops could kill Americans… the Italians are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive one of those little foreign penis extensions.

See a trend?

Thousands of my brothers and sisters died fighting communist China in the Korean War and Vietnamese communists in the Vietnam War. Today China and Vietnam are our friends. Why? They’re still communists, right? They are our “friends” because they let American companies do business in their countries. Seems communism is good, as long as they let American capitalists make money in their country. Seems we’ll fight anyone for the right to exploit their resources. Don’t let us in and you’re on the shit list...I’m talkin’ to you Cuba!

Why do you think the U.S. puts up with BSC motherhubbards like Saudi Arabia, Israel and Pakistan? Because they let our corporations make money off of them. Americans haven’t fought a war for the right reasons since WWII. Since then, all the fighting has been for the wrong reasons. Gives me hope, though. If the Taliban would just let McDonalds or WalMart or BofA do business with ‘em, we’d be their BFF’s. Time will tell.

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Thought Burbles

Luther Mack has always been one of our favorite people. After all, he’s one of the few brown-skinded brothers who own businesses here in Cracker City. So when we heard that Mack and Associates is gonna sell their 11 McDonalds here in the 775, it was like finding a turd in the punch bowl. Total. Bummer. Godspeed Luther. Don't let the rednecks get you down!



The Government-Cheese over in Virginia City is worried about a proposed wind farm. In typical NIMBY fashion, Storey County Planning Commissioners said that the turbines would detract from V.C.’s charm and historic nature. Funny, this is the same place that brings tourists in with its world famous outhouse races. Hmmm…they race toilets down main street but they think a wind farm might be inappropriate. NIMBY indeed.



Much ado is being made of the swearing in ceremony at yesterday’s inauguration. Seems Chief Justice Roberts couldn’t quite remember the words. What struck home for us though was the last three words uttered by J-Rob and the ‘Bamer…”so help me God.” We looked up the oath in a little thing we like to call “THE United States Constitution” and the words “so help me God” are nowhere to be found. They just tacked that shit on to the end. You know…if JZeus’ Dad gave a rat’s ass about the USo’A, he would have done something about the smarmy chimp-dick that was in power for the last eight years. Alas, His silence was deafening.



The Taliban shows us again why the world thinks they’re BSC. Militants in western Pakistan are warning bus drivers to not play music or videos for passengers ‘cause it spreads “vulgarity and obscenity.” To paraphrase Xander Cage, “C’mon Dicks, it’s only music.” Actually, if the music was Britney Spears or the movies starred Madonna or Ben Affleck, we could see their point.



And finally today…up at THE University of Nevada, the school paper ran an editorial demanding the impeachment of Governor Jim Gibbons. Hey, we thought that was our job! Kudos to the staffers at the Sagebrush for separating the taint from the balls but take our words of wisdom…you’ve got to take a powerful piss to piss off powerful people so watch out where you’re sprayin’.




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Pay for Play

Today we wanna talk about two things we know a lot about but, sadly, have very little of…sex and money. Livin’ in Mom & Dad’s basement and blogging all day isn’t as glamorous or lucrative as you might think.


Y’all know that the Silver State is in a crunch for cash. Thank you Chimp-Dick. The Government-Cheese is cutting so much it looks like Floyd the Barber on steroids. Well, a couple of days ago, the economic powers-that-be got together to figure out our financial future. What did they come up with?


“We have to teach people to compete like never before, and enjoy it," said John Luthy, a “speaker-facilitator” (read: overpaid lackey) talking to the Nevada Commission on Economic Development. Great. Their idea on turning around our economy is for the little guy to work HARDER. This bobblehead gets PAID to spout nonsense? YIKES! Well…we’re here to tell you about our idea to get us out of this financial shitstorm. Y’all won’t have to work any harder but like Mr. Luthy mentioned above…you’ll enjoy it!


Last year, a brother paid $145,000 for the rights to the name of “Mustang Ranch.” The name only. SHEESH! Lord knows what the brother woulda paid for…you know…ACTUAL boobies but that’s the crux of our biscuit today.


Nevada should mainstream prostitution. “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” say the puritanical hypocrites. Not so fast people…check it.


The selling of sexual favors is already legal in most parts of the state. Problem is, where it IS legal…is the middle of BFE! But if The Silver State makes it as easy to get laid as it is to order a pizza, there’ll be several positive results…



The tax money generated from legal prostitution would make gaming taxes look like an old, worn out dollar bill.


No skanks hasslin’ tourists on the street.


No more violence against streetwalkers by pimps and johns.


No more need for the PoPo to go undercover to bust horny people. They’ll be able to go catch the REAL bad guys like murders and rapists and terrorists and Karl Rove.


It would be HUGE for the tourism industry. Do you know how many sexually repressed people there are just in Utah? MILLIONS. Hell, people would come to Nevada from around the world just to check it out.


Now, we know a lot of y’all out there got your Underoos in a bunch over this idea so we wanna give you an example of the hypocrisy of the illegality of selling one’s body for the horizontal tango.


A nineteen-year-old kid, just outta high school can sell his body to the NBA to play basketball. He’ll get damned good money for it too. Hell, Major League Baseball buys their meat as young as sixteen years old. You can sell you body (for not much) to Uncle Sam. You won’t get any sex out of it but you sure might get IED’ed. So, if people can sell their bodies for all sorts of work, even dangerous work, why make it illegal to charge money to put Tab “A” into Slot “B”?


Heck, if you have sex with a woman (or man) that you picked up in the bar but didn’t charge any money, that’d be legal. So, what makes swapping scratch for scratches on your back so bad?


No, we say legalize sex for money. Make it as easy as goin’ to the drive-thru at McDonalds. When they do…as always…we’ll have to order from the Dollar Menu.



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Le Roi est Mort. La Vie longue le Roi!

There isn't one of us here at PTB that hasn't imagined themselves as "The King"...you've never seen a bike fly 'til you've seen an airborne Huffy.



EZ-E did the BSCziest stuffle a human being could think of.




Living 'til 69 while doin' it makes it all that more impressive.



20-1 says he salted his McFries.


Huzzah to a REAL American hero!!!


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ICE Caramba!!!

Last week was a bad week to be a brown-skinded brother or sister here in the 775.


Isn't it weird that John Law busted a bunch of EMPLOYED Latinos working for the most successful BLACK businessman in the area?


If the Fuzz really wanted to bust up major employment for illegals...they would have busted the casino or the construction industries. Problem is...they're all owned by Crackers.


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