The Thriller's Gone

Most people agree that Michael Jackson's Thriller is the scariest music video ever made. Actually, anything featuring the 'white" Michael Jackson has got to be up there as well. So...if that's the case...this video is scarier than the nude John Ensign picture I've got hangin' on my wall. Aye caramba! Now, that's scary!


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Ted's Dead Baby...Ted's Dead

So Teddy-K is takin’ a dirt nap. Ya know…if any of us regular chucklenuts out here woulda got brain cancer like he did, with the healthcare system we’ve got in the USo’A, we’d all be bankrupt now. No such worries for Ted’s fam, though…he got free medical insurance the minute he was elected to office. That’s forty years of free, taxpayer-supported, top-of-the-line socialized medical treatment. Funny, the politicians who spout off about how bad socialized medicine is are the same ones who have the government-cheese pay for everything. Hypocrites.

A list of who’s happiest that TK kicked the bucket:

1. John Ensign’s parents
2. Mark Sanford’s wee wee
3. Michael Jackson’s doctor
4. Michael Vick’s new teammates
5. Jim Gibbons’ Stimulus Czar
6. Anyone related to Mary Jo Kopechne

But you know who suffers most from this 24 hour news cycle of constantly changing stories? Our brave men and women in uniform. It’s bad enough bein’ in the suck that is Iraq and Afghanistan for no good reason other than to get your ass shot off. But those poor bastards are so yesterday’s story that four of ‘em can get IED’ed in one day and it doesn’t even make the news. Oh yeah…and Beau Bergdahl…GET BACK SOON BEAU! These rat-bastard politicians say they support our troops, now is the time that you see it’s just that…only words.


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Forty-Four and Counting

Forty four days since Private First Class Bowe Bergdahl was captured by the bad guys. Forty four fucking days. Have you heard anything about him on the news? No. Nothing but town hall rabble-rousers, tinfoil hat wearin' "Birthers" and Michael Jackson’s doctor. Aye caramba! Next time I hear someone use the term “Liberal Media,” I’m gonna break my foot off in their John Brown Hind Pot. Way to remember your hero soldiers America.

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Tuesday's Gone

This just in: Michael Jackson is still dead. Problem is, the story just won’t go away. If the mainstream media had covered the Bush administration with this much manpower and gusto, Scooter, Rummy, Brownie, Dr. Evil and the Bush-Wipe would all be in jail right about now. BTW…who the hell is paying for all the cops to be security for the funeral? It’s not like the Governator and the rest of Cali is swimming in dough.

Speakin' of dough...last night, down in the basement we had an epiphany. Chocolate chip cookie air freshener. The great smell of Mom baking, without the mess, the calories or tooth decay. Can someone please make this happen?

And finally…caught a great documentary on NatGeo last night. Hitler’s Stealth Fighter. You heard it right…The Nazis had a flying wing that was stealthy and looked just like the B2 Stealth…and they had it sixty years before the United States did. We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: The only reason the Nazis lost WWII is because Hitler was in charge. Knock off that BSC motherhubbard and we’d all be speakin’ German right now. True dat.

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Mikey Likes It

This is what happens when you give Bollywood your idea. They make it totally cool.

The Thriller's Gone

You know who the two happiest motherhubbards on the planet are today? Senator John “The Wad” Ensign and Governor Mark “Of The Beast” Sanford. Thanks to Jacko takin’ a dirt nap, most Americans don’t even remember who they are or what they did. Don’t worry guys…we’ll remember for all of us.



Turn on any news channel and all you see is MJ this and MJ that. It’s like it’s the only news happenin’ anywhere. Tell you what…if the protesters in Iran want any pub, they’d better be marching to Thriller, waving Farrah Fawcett posters and chanting “Heeeeer’s Johnny.” Elsewise, they won’t get a minute.



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Mighty Morphin' Power Dudes

We LOVE it when peoples give us a heads up on something cool. Thank you Carrie Chaney...we almost forgot how cool that old Michael Jackson video was.


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