The Movie Rick Pitino Didn't See

Just Do It

We cannot emphasize this enough…there is nothing…repeat…nothing better than sex. Maybe that’s our take ‘cause we don’t do it nearly as often as we should -- but that’s the crux of a different biscuit.


The problem here in the United States of Puritanism is that most people think sex is a bad thing. It’s not our fault. The government-cheese and those that speak for JZeus’ Dad continually bombard us with the thought that putting tab "A" into slot "B" or slot "C" or slot "D" is wrong. Both groups tell us when we can and cannot do it, where we can and cannot do it and who we can or cannot do it with. SHEESH! Makes you wonder how the species survives. Well, don’t fret peoples. We’ve got good news for y’all.


A report just out says that folks who take "abstinence pledges" and "virginity pledges" are just as likely to have sex as those of y’all who don’t take a pledge. The first thought up from our mind shaft was "DUH!" That’s like saying politicians running on the platform of government ethics are just as likely to take a bribe as say…Rod Blagojevich. Thanks Captain Obvious.


You see, sex is the great motivator. Why else do you think guys buy fancy cars, get educations and occasionally shower? To impress as many ladies as possible with the intention of getting sex. Don’t believe? Ask any guy. Sex is our highest priority. We think about sex almost all the time. That’s why men had to invent sports. ‘Cause if we didn’t, we’d be thinking about sex all the time.


And women aren’t any different from men. Oh sure…they may play shy and innocent and naive but no fire burns hotter than in the loins of a woman. Why do you think women spend so much money on clothes, spend so much time putting on makeup and dreaming of the day that they can get breast implants? So they can get more men to have sex with. It’s an entirely natural thing. Much more natural than thinking an Invisible Man in the Sky gives a crap who you do the horizontal tango with. So go for it folks. Dive in with both feet (if that’s your kinda thing). Have sex. Just don’t let the Government-Cheese catch you putting tab "A" into slot "Z."

(8.-)

Sarah Palin Tall

Here at PTB there’s nothing that chaps our collective asses more than the hypocrisy of politicians. Last night’s Republican National Convention was a shining example of why we constantly sport pink cheeks. A couple of things stuck out…



With all their talk about the USo’A bein’ the greatest country in the world and the diversity of its people…notice how there’s a dearth of brown-skinded brothers and sisters at the RNC? That place is filled with so much white it looks like a huge bowl of Uncle Ben’s rice. SHEESH…there are so many crackers in StP, it looks like a Saltine factory exploded. Hey re-flub-licans…whitey isn’t the only one livin’ in America. Guess they think “diversity” is the place you play college sports.



Smokin’ hot VPILF Sarah Palin gave a barn-burner of a speech last night and afterward Delaware's own JoeyB said that her family should be “of limits” to the media. Nice try bub. Ya see, Palin believes JZeus is head honcho and people should do WTF he says or risk eternal damnation. We’re kewl with ED but we’ve gotta ask…”Yo VPILF…how’s that religion-based abstinence program for teens goin’? See, Palin doesn’t believe in sex education, condoms or the pill. She thinks prayer’s gonna keep the li’l ones from goin’ carnal and gettin' preggers. Guess what? It. Doesn’t. Work.



Lastly…and we ask this often…if Sarah Palin is truly a Christian woman, full of Christian values, livin’ and lovin’ the words of JZeus, how the hell can she support the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? In other words, who would JZeus blow up? The answer is NOBODY! She may be a conservative, she may SAY she loves JZeus…but NO WAY is Sarah Palin a Christian. Don’t believe? Just read Matthew 25: 35-40. Or better yet…read the sixth commandment. Damned hypocrite.




@:
:@