Showing posts with label Texas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Texas. Show all posts

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Rush N Roulette


Not wanting to pay the taxes NYC thinks are his fair share, radio behemoth Rush Limbaugh says he’s lookin’ for new digs. He said he wants to move to a state with no income taxes like Texas or Florida. Well Rush…we’re gonna give you several of our good reasons to skip the Lone Star and Sunshine states and get your behind up here to the Silver State.



6. The 775 voted overwhelmingly for George W. Bush…THREE TIMES!



5. You can smoke that nasty-assed, stinky, donkey penis looking stogie anywhere you want!



4. You can see Nancy Pelosi’s house from Lake Tahoe.



3. You’ll feel right at home with all the hot air at the Great Reno Balloon Races.



2. The dry air and high altitude here in the 775 will help you with your “glandular” problem.



1. The doctors up here in the 775 will write you an under-the-table ‘scrip if you do a pole dance for ‘em.




(8.-)

Friday, August 22, 2008

Why Some People Hate Cops

This kind of thing would NEVER happen in the 775. Makes you glad you don't live in the Lone Star State. One question...how fast would YOU drive to get your dying dog to the emergency vet?

Friday, May 16, 2008

Run Forest! Run!

We never understood track athletes. They’re the ones who spend hours and days and weeks training and the one who spends the LEAST amount of time running the race…wins. We never understood that but we’ve always been big fans of the sport.. That’s why we’re jazzed up ‘bout the start of the High School State Track & Field Tournament this weekend.



Now, anyone who’s rolled in the 775 for very long knows who the Tarantulas are. We’re familiar with Muckers from the north side and Muckers from the south side. We know all about the Hornets, the Longhorns and the Lakers. They’re all over the Silver State. We’re talking about small high schools.



Most of us here at PTB went to 1A schools and are proud of it. Ya see, at a small school you’ve gotta do everything. You participate in your three or four sports. You’re in student council. You have to be on the setup and the cleanup crews for dances. Heck, you might even have to serve as the prom king and the prom queen. You’ve gotta be a jack of all trades…not because you’re proficient at ‘em but because bodies are scarce. Which brings us to the crux of today’s biscuit…



Last weekend The Lone Star State held its state track meet. The winner in the small school category was Rochelle High School. WTF should anyone care ‘bout that? Simple. Rochelle High School had exactly ONE member of their track team compete. Bonnie Richardson entered five events and placed in all of ‘em. High jump, long jump, discus, 100 and 200 meters. And she alone won the team title. SNAP!



You’ll never see a story like that happen in ‘Vegas or Reno. But that kind of performance happens all the time in places like Gerlach, Ely, Carlin and Wells. Small school sports…just one more reason to love livin’ in the 775.



While we’re on the subject of T&F…Oscar Pistorius hit triple sevens today. You might remember Oscar as the fastest man on no feet. We talked about him a while back when the International Association of Athletics Federations banned him from running against athletes who aren’t amputees. The IAAF said that Oscar had an unfair advantage ‘cause he has two artificial legs. We said HORSESHIT to that! Today, the Court of Arbitration for Sport agreed with all of us here at PTB. Now Oscar gets to qualify to run this summer in Beijing.



We don’t know ‘bout y’all but this story is givin’ us a huge jones for the Olympics to start. And when they do start…here’s hopin’ Oscar rubs a butt on all of ‘em. You go boy!


(8.-)