Hater Haters

If you’ve read the RGJ lately, either online or in dead tree form, you’d have noticed quite the vilification of Nevada head football coach Chris Ault. Shoot-fire…with all the vitriol spewin’ ‘round there, you’d think the Little General was Obama’s healthcare plan and Nevada fans were Glenn Beck’s teabag posse. YIKES! But I’m here to remind y’all about a few things.


You cannot judge an entire season after two games. You just can’t. That’d be like predicting how long a marriage will last by how long the first night of sex lasts. Not a very reliable indicator. True dat.


Chris Ault has been coaching at Nevada since they used real pig bladders for a ball. He’s in the college football hall of fame. Does an 0-2 start make him less smart than any year before? No. He’s the same coach that’s been at the helm for decades. He didn’t just all-of-a-sudden get stupid like Colin Powell did. Besides…Ault isn’t the one running and blocking and tackling. He’s also not the one NOT running and NOT blocking and NOT tackling.


And lastly…Nevada hasn’t been a major player in college football since we moved up to 1-A from 1-AA. Remember those days? Crisp Saturdays in November, playoffs at hand and the smell of victory in the air. Remember those days? I do. And I surely do miss ‘em. But the fact is, the powers-that-be decided to move up and play with the big boys and we’ve been getting’ our hats handed to us ever since. Nevada will never be one of the elite teams when it comes to college football. All we can do is take it in the keester during the non-conference schedule, hope to beat tomato cans like Idaho and San Jose State during conference and hope for a miracle against the likes of Hawaii, Fresno State and Boise State. Stranger things have happened…just not lately.


Besides…basketball season is just around the corner.


(8.-)

Going Green

It looks like Mary Ann is quite fond of Mary Jane. Yup. Dawn Wells, one of the favorite daughters of the 775 got popped by the PoPo for havin’ a hold of the ganja.



What makes things worse is that she got busted in Idaho (State Motto: “We’re Even Whiter Than Utah!”). She’s lucky though, she got bailed before they could administer a “Rudy in the Booty.”



We always fantasized about bangin’ the femmes on G.I. but naive Mary Ann wasn’t our first choice. Neither was smokin’ hot Ginger. No, we always wanted to horizontal bop with the older, wiser Mrs. Howell. They didn’t call her “Lovie” for nothin’! YIKES!



But the problem we have with this whole thing is the illegality of marijuana. Think about it. Tobacco kills around 300,000 people a year. Alcohol is responsible for 20,000 a year. They’re both legal and easy to buy. As of today not one death has EVER been attributed to the green bud. Not. One. And if you get busted with it, you’ll spend time in the Gray Bar Motel. You wonder why we’ve got more people in the big house than the friggin’ Chinese? This is reason one.



What we can’t figure out is that if the USofA is a Christian nation…why hasn’t anyone brought up Genesis 2:16. C’mon God peeps…read your friggin’ bibles. You’d be surprised what’s in there.



As for you you Mary Ann…come on home and we’ll light up a spliff together. Maybe you can teach us some of the things you learned from Thurston’s wife.



(8.-)

His Own Private IdaHo'

We've said it before, we'll say it again. Here at PTB we love our GLBT brothers and sisters.


So you just know we love Senator Larry (don't call me Jenny) Craig.


Well, great news! Senator PeterPuffer has just been elected into the Idaho "Stall"...er we mean "HALL of Fame."


Congratulations Senator Turd Blossom...you've joined luminaries such as:


Mr Potato Head...


That BSC dude from Ruby Ridge...


and a freak well-known here in the 775...Claude Dallas. HUZZAH to you, Senator Craig, your place in history is secure!


(8.-)