It's been a tough couple of weeks for us here at PTB. Like they say: "bad things come in threes." Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots. See what we mean? ANYWAY...in the last couple of cycles we lost Jim McKay...Tim Russert and now George Carlin. These guys weren't just TV personalities...they were our friends, our mentors, our heroes. They made us laugh. They made us cry. But most importantly, they made us think and they gave us hope. In losing those three brotherhubbards...America shines a lot less brightly today. With that, we give you the George Carlin classic: Advertising Lullaby.
Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience, economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality, low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money-back guarantee. Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations, free delivery, free estimates, free home trial and free parking.
No cash? No problem! No kidding. No fuss, no muss, no risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, no entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary. No one will call on you, no payments or interest ‘til September. Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money. Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately. Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final. Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.
So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultationwith our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced andknowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget. And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you.
And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim.Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you.
Actually, it's our way of saying "Bend over just a little farther so we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bitdeeper, a little bit deeper, a little bit DEEPER, you miserable no-good dumbass fucking consumer!'
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