The Sanctity of Marriage?

Now, y’all know we love our GLBT peeps ‘round here at PTB. You also know where we stand on the subject of marriage: We wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But if gays wanna get hitched, we think they should be able to. Of course, the religious wack-jobs out there don’t agree. They say marriage should only be between a man and a woman. Check out how bass-ackward that notion seems now…






Residents in a suburb of Nagpur, India were pretty worried that monsoon season was late. No rain equals no crops, so you can imagine their distress. What’d they do? They got together a couple of frogs (no, not French citizens, the amphibious kind) and in a full Hindu ceremony…married them! We had no idea that frog on frog marriage is legal in India. The question begs to be asked: If JZeus’ Dad doesn’t have a problem with amphibious nuptials; do you think he gives a care about gay marriage? Nope.







Speaking of marriage…for the second time in a week, a prominent, holier-than-thou, bloviating, smarmy, anti-gay marriage, reflublican, friend of JZeus got popped with a wandering doodle. Today, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina admitted to zipping down to Argentina and horn-doggin’ his paramour. And just like Johnny “The Wad” Ensign, he’s not gonna resign. Have you wondered lately WTF it’ll take to get a republican politician canned? C’mon…the whole party got their collective Underoos in a bunch over Slick Willie’s hummer but they keep their heads up their asses when it comes to their own bangin’ on a non-wife coochie.








Now, don’t think for an instant we forgot about Senator “Long” John Ensign. Yesterday, Johnny Suave had lunch with his fellow “conservatives” and apologized for his dalliances. The money quote?




“He spoke at our conference, apologized and indicated that he was going to do his job,” U.S. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., told reporters.




Yo, Able-Semen Ensign…we thought your "job" for the last few years was getting "jobs" for (and from) your paramour, a "job" for her cuckold and a "job" for their son. Funny, the only people that seem to be getting "jobbed" are Nevada voters. Just remember y'all...You can't spell "Ensign" without "resign."





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Johnny Souled Out

Yesterday we riffed on Senator John “The Wad” Ensign and the meanderings of his doodle. Yo Johnny…who on your staff you think JZeus would bang? Ensign has said he isn’t gonna resign from the Senate, which is bad. But things might not be in his hands, which is good.



Ya see, while Ensign is a hypocrite for horn-doggin’ the help while at the same exact time opposing same-sex marriage, that isn’t illegal. Fucked up repugnant…but perfectly legal. No, what’s gonna get “Long” John Ensign’s nutsack in a sling is the fact that he:


Doubled the pay of his paramour during the affair…


Gave her cuckold an administrative assistant gig and paid him almost $250,000 during the affair…


AND gave their l’il shaver more than five grand for "research policy consulting." And the kid is nineteen fuckin’ years old. Aye caramba!



No…Johnny “Trouser Trout” Ensign won’t get tossed outta the Senate for bein’ a hypocritical rat-bastard but he’ll be workin’ at the drive-thru soon enough after the feds find out about all that hush money he floated. We’ll make you a deal Senator “Able Semen” Ensign. If we ever move outta the ‘rent’s basement and get us a girlfriend, we’ll let you bang her for pennies on the dollar. Hell, we won’t even tell our gay friends. Deal?



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