Tehran So Far Away

Read us once and you’ll know we love us the Persians here at PTB. Hell, if we ever get outta this blogging-nerd phase, move outta the ‘rent’s basement and hook up with a Persian grrl and we’re gonna name our first baby Cyrus…but that’s the crux of another biscuit…

Now, y’all know that there are a lot of problems goin’ down in Iran. That’s what you get when you let a bunch of BSC religious wing-nuts run your country. But there’s a crack getting’ wider over there and it could be a chance for the USo'A to make some progress. According to a story…

“With young people pursuing more liberal lifestyles and shunning the traditional mores of their parents' generation, the marrying age is steadily climbing. This terrifies Iran's religious government, which still peddles the virtue of chastity and views young people's shifting attitudes toward sexuality as a direct threat to the Islamic revolution's core values.”

We told you about those religious zealots. But do you see it? C’mon…what is the one universal attitude that all teenagers share? FUCK AUTHORITY! It’s been that way forever. Teenagers hate rules and they hate when authority figures tell ‘em what to do. So, here’s the plan:

Rather than getting’ into a dick-swingin’ contest with Iran’s tighty-righties…you know…with bullets and guns and bombs… we should fight ‘em with drugs, sex and rock & roll. Think about it. If the U.S. starts smuggling Snoop Dogg CD’s, cases of Jack Daniels, subscriptions to Hustler and anything grown in the Emerald Triangle into Iran, soon the young’uns will turn on their elderly oppressors. Anyone older than 50 can attest to the fact that with enough booze, THC and coochie on their minds, kids’ll go BSC for the right to be rebellious. And isn’t that what we’d like to see in old Persia, a rebellion? REMEMBER THE 60's!

We hope we’re all alive to see it…it’s gonna be a beautiful sight. Downtown Tehran, packed with revelers, slammin’ Mojitos and beer-bonging Jaeger Meister. The smoke so thick from the spliffs that it looks like a foggy day in San Francisco. Skynyrd jammin’ Freebird on the boombox and rocket-hottie Persian babes doin’ the Middle Eastern version of Girls Gone Wild. Just the thought of that has the Ayatollah spinnin’ in his grave. Well…at least he’s doin’ it to a kick-ass beat.

(8.-)

SMiley and Say Cheese

So, Hannah Montana and her dad, the one-hit-wonder-chump, are appalled, embarrassed and generally feeling icky about pictures of the teen queen published in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair.



The shots were taken by world-famous photog Annie Leibovitz and we’ve gotta say, they’re tastefully done. That is, if pics of a scantily-clad, underage teeny-bopper can be called “tasteful.”


But here’s the crux of our biscuit…Vanity Fair isn’t Hustler and Annie Leibovitz isn’t Larry Flynt. Believe it…we know Larry Flynt and Annie Leibovitz is no Larry Flint. But Momma and Poppa were at the shoot…reps and advisors were at the shoot and no one said anything ‘til Disney got their knickers in a bunch. Hell, Dakota Montana herself said, "I think it's really artsy. It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That's what she wanted me to do, and you can't say no to Annie."


Well, little one, we’ve got news for you. If anyone in your posse had thought that the pics would get you in trouble with your fans, and more importantly the people who sign your rather large checks, they should have spoken up. They didn’t. You didn’t. If you or mommy or daddy or your handlers didn’t say no to Annie and Vanity Fair that’s YOUR fault. Just remember one thing Ms. Miley…you’re only three years away from being another Danny Bonaduce, McCauley Culkin and/or Britney Spears. Hell you might even get JonBenet-ed. Good luck with THAT!


(8.-)