Utah...Metah...Wetah

A lot of people give the LDS church a ration of shit. People say it’s a cult. Some people don’t consider the LDSers Christians, and it’s just plain creepy that they run the entire state of Utah. Well, the Mormons and other Beehive Staters proved them all correct yesterday when the government-cheese executed convicted killer Ronnie Lee Gardner.

While I may be a progressive in some aspects, when it comes to the death penalty, I’m almost always for it’s swift use. The exception is any black man living below the Mason-Dixon Line…you Klansmen out there know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. But I have a real problem in this case.

The problem isn’t with the execution itself…the problem I have is that it was done in Utah. You see, if the state of Utah is run by the Mormon Church and the Mormon Church believes itself to be Christian, WTF are they doing executing anyone? Hell, the Utah Attorney General even TWEETED from the death chamber. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT CHRISTIAN? From what I’ve read in the Christian Bible, there are a million places where JZeus and His Dad talk about how killing is wrong. They talk about forgiveness and mercy. Do the Mormons follow those tenets of their Holy Book? No. But they sure have their magic underwear in a bunch over gay marriage…something that isn’t even mentioned in the Bible.

As long as the State of Utah has the death penalty as an option…no matter how heinous the crime, they’re not Christians. Hell, they’re no better than the perp they’re poppin’ caps at. Hypocrites? Yes. Men and women of God? No way in Hell.

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The Dan Quayle Defense

On the 45th anniversary of Bobby K getting BobbyK’d we look to the future of another young, handsome, charismatic leader.

Here in the USofA ‘08…there are millions of crackers out there whose worst nightmare is about to happen…President Barack Hussein Obama. YEEE HAWWWW! If you read us here at PTB on a regular basis, you know we called the Dem race for the ‘Bamer long ago (there’s still time for Ron Paul) and now that he’s made it, the talk turns toward his running mate.

Now, a lot of people are pushing Hillary Clinton for the number two slot and we think it’s a good idea. Why? Well, there are a lot of right-wing jihadists out there who are skidmarking their dungarees ‘cause a brown-skinded brother is gonna be President. So, if the ‘Bamer picks Whitey to be V.P., you’d better believe those BSC motherhubbards would JFK him in a New York minute.

But the thing that scares the bejeezus out of righty-whitey is Hillary and Bill Clinton back in the White House. Think about it…if Hill Bill Vol.2 is a heartbeat away from the presidency, the LAST thing the bad guys would want is for something to happen to the ‘Bamer. Heck-fire…if Hillary was the V.P., the Klan would probably volunteer to help the Secret Srervice keep the Prez safe. So c’mon BO…think of what’s best for you and the country…pick Hillary. Best. VP. Ever.

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