Why Arizona Should Secede

Wednesday Thought Burbles

I don’t get it…some douchebag politician wants to hold Congressional hearings into why the Pentagon dis-invited Franklin Graham, Billy Graham’s, son to National Prayer Day. DAMN…doesn’t Congress have anything better to do? Yes…but that doesn’t mean they’re gonna do it. It’s all about posturing for the next election. Sad. But my question is a bit different: WTF does the Pentagon need with a National Prayer day? I don’t want my soldiers to be praying to God. I want them to be blowin’ the bejeezus outta things and killing bad guys. They should leave the praying to the chaplains…and Franklin Graham.

That oil spill out in the gulf of Mexico is now the size of West Virginia and getting bigger. It’s heading straight for Louisiana and Mississippi. Maybe Jerry Falwell was right. God is unleashing Hell on those poor folks ‘cause of all the gayness in New Orleans. Nah…Jerry Falwell has never been right. I’ll tell you one thing, this spill is gonna fuck up things for a long time. Hmmm…I wonder if Caribou Barbie can see the sunken oil rig from her house? Yo VPILF, how’s that “drill baby drill-thingy” goin for ya?

And finally today, a little bit about the Teabaggers. A lot has been written about how those tighty-righties are racist, cracker-assed-crackers. Well, we’ve got a foolproof way to find that out now. How? You’ve seen tea parties all over the place; people wavin’ signs and placards that say stuff like “No big government” and “Keep the government out of healthcare.” That stance is a civil libertarian stance and I understand it. So, why don’t you hear a peep out of the Teabaggers when it comes to the AZ’s draconian immigration law? Not a peep. If the Teabaggers don’t stand, in unison, and demand the repeal of Arizona’s immigration law, they’re nuthin’ but a bunch of hypocritical, racist, xenophobic, rat-bastards.

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Papers or Plastic

So I’m sittin’ in front of the tube last night, tryin’ to get my pea brain around this new Arizona immigration law, when the Military Channel pops on an episode of The World at War. It’s a twenty-something part documentary on WWII. This particular episode covered the rise of the Nazi Party in the mid-30’s. And then, it hit me…

The WAW narrator started talkin’ about what the Nazis did when they took over. The first thing they did was vilify the press calling it “liberal” and “anti-German.” Sound familiar? Then the Nazis outlawed all unions. Ya see where I’m goin’ with this?

Next, Hitler’s goons started rounding up intellectuals (elitists) and immigrants (dark-skinded brothers and sisters) and sendin’ ‘em off to the gulags. The Nazi regime explained that Germany was an infallible country, ordained by God to rule the world.

Now I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but it seems that the right-wing nut cases here in the USo’A, Inc., surely look and sound and act a lot like the Nazis of WWII. Don’t believe me? Tighty-righties routinely rag on the “liberal media.” The only people they trust on the tube are Faux News and Hee Haw. They’re anti-union, they pooh-pooh intellectuals and blame every problem in their lives on illegal immigration. I’m tellin’ y’all…this is gonna get interesting…but not in a good way. Mark my words.

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I Have A Dream

All men are created equal...


Unless you're a woman...


or Spanish is your first language...


or you're attracted to men...


Other than that...you're O.K.




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Brown Out

Why is everyone skidmarking their Underoos over illegal immigration? SHEESH! The way people complain, you’d think someone dropped a mard in their Cocoa Puffs. The crux of our biscuit today is that we think the whole thing is racistm. Don’t believe us?



Notice how every time the ICE guys make a bust, the folks getting’ popped are from Central and South America? Every single one of ‘em. And all of ‘em have brown skin. All of ‘em.



Have you ever seen whitey get busted for bein’ an illegal? No. Does that mean no one from Canada or Great Britain or France or Germany ever skipped across the border illegally? No. It just means that the ICE-stapo have a much easier time bustin’ someone that isn’t a cracker.



Speaking of whitey…notice how the fence on the U.S. border is on our southern border and not on our northern border. Aye Caramba! Realize this huckleberries…the last time someone wanted to give us the terrorist fist-bump, they came in from the Canadian border…not the Mexican border. Way to “Protect and Serve” douchebags.



How come every time the ICEmen cometh, the brown-skinded brothers and sisters they bust are all at work? JZeus-friggin-Christo. And it’s not like they take jobs from regular Americans. Ever work in a fast food restaurant? BLECH! The place is hot and sweaty, it smells, you earn very little money and even less respect. You wanna go work there? We didn’t think so.



What we’re trying to say here is that y’all seem a bit paranoid about illegal immigration but you only spout about the illegals that aren’t white. Got a news flash for the rednecks out there...you think you hate illegal immigrants? Ask a REAL American what they think about the Irish and the Italians and the Brits and the Slavs. They’d say “Go back to your own country you friggin’ crackers!” After all…they lived here with the Mexicans long before whitey took over. How’d that work out?



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