Tuesday's "Gone With The Wind"

Yesterday the Sparks City Council approved a rezoning plan that will lead to almost 3,000 new homes in the Spanish Springs area. YIKES! Who’s gonna pay for the new roads, new schools, new police and fire stations? Taxpayers. Who is gonna benefit from the new development? Developers, builders and the councilpersons in their pocket. Good thing we're in the middle of a drought, elsewise they would have approved 100,000 new houses. These guys should all be voted out of office, recalled or impeached.



Last night Dean Heller and Jill Derby ‘bated over in Elko. It got a little snippy but we want more. How ‘bout we get ‘em together next time in an MMA-type “Ring of Death”? We’d pay to watch that. Funny though…we’d make the skeevy metrosexual a decided underdog to Battle Mountain rancher lady. First time he chipped a fingernail, he’d quit.



VPILF Sarah Palin is in the 775 today. Talk about shitty timing. How in the world can anyone get off work or school in the middle of the day for something like that? We would have loved to go to the rally if for nothing else than to yell bukkake jokes at her and see if we could get perp-walked by the S.S.



Ivanka Trump is on the stump today. If we were lesser men she’d be set on us still. But that’s not the point. Beelzebub’s demon seed is touting the health benefits and the cost-savings of bringing your own lunch to work. Hey ‘Vank…we’re poor…we’ve been brown baggin’ it most of our lives. Tell you what…give us some of daddy’s money and we’ll eat out at bourgie hot spots on a daily basis then tour the country tellin’ Huckleberries to DIY.



Finally, an 89-year-old woman in Ohio is in the Gray Bar Motel today for…wait for it…wait for it…Not giving back a football some punk kids threw into her yard! JZeus-Friggin’-Christo. Let’s see…for the cost of poppin’ granny, bookin’ her, holding her, trying her and all the rest, the PoPo could have bought a hundred footballs. Yo, Marshall Dillon…don’t you have a buckeye you could be rousting?



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Friends With Benefits

Looks like Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons isn't even gonna let the ink dry on his divorce before he hits the town with another piece of eye candy. Hey, we don't blame him. After all, he is quite the looker and no governor should ever have to go to bed or to dinner or to a movie all by his lonesome. With that said, we've come up with three women who would be a good match for GJG:

1. Princess Beatrice: She's a bit googly-eyed, she's not blonde and she might be a bit young for the Gov, but she has friends and family in high places. Good to have on your side while your career is sinking like the anchor of the Titanic.

2. Ivanka Trump: She has the money and the pedigree to become a major player in the Republican party. Problem is, her dad thinks Nevada IS a wasteland. Could be a conflict of interest with all of his holdings on the east coast. Thanks for the help Donny!

3. Christie Brinkley. Recently divorced so she can be had on the rebound. Has her own money. Blonde. The one problem we might have with this one is that ChristieB is not only smokin' hot, she's smart too. If she opens her mouth, we might find out how smart Governor Jim is...and that wouldn't be good for anyone.

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