Nuggets From the Mind Shaft

The war of words between University Chancellor Jim Rogers and Governor Jim Gibbons is starting to resemble something out of the “WWE.” Now, we’ve never been ones to run away from a public cat fight but, c’mon guys. There’s real work to be done and y’all are acting like a couple of schoolgirls. Tell you what…if you two wanna fight, meet us downtown during halftime of a Bighorns game. We’ll rope y’all off some space and you can beat each other to smithereens. Winner gets his way, loser gets to steppin’. Either that, or STFU and get to work. Babies.




Speaking of fights…last week a couple of Spanish Springs high school students got into some fisticuffs. Gay rights advocates are calling it a hate crime while the Washoe County Sheriff says it wasn’t. That got us to thinkin’…when has a fist fight ever NOT been a hate crime? Just wondering.




The fighting has stopped, for now, in Gaza. Israel sure blew the shit out of that place. So when we read the story ‘bout U.S. aid to Gaza the bile started to rise. According to a report, the USo’A is gonna pay….wait for it…wait for it…$900 MILLION for Gaza reconstruction. WTF is up with that? Hey guys…Israel did the band damage in Gaza…not America. How the fuck come we’ve gotta pay for reconstruction? Israel broke it, Israel should have to pay for it. $900 million could go a long way back here in the states.




And finally, last week we told you about the City of Sparks spending gobs of scratch tryin’ to “re-brand” their identity. When residents heard about it they went BSC. No surprise there. But the story gets better…A city spokesman said the branding, development and marketing action plan is only a DRAFT plan. He said none of the 28 recommendations has been implemented and at a later date, the city council may take action on some, all, or none of them. AYE CARAMBA!!! You mean to say that, after spending all that dough, Sparks officials might not even use the new slogan? What kind of reaction did they think residents were gonna have when they heard the news? No matter folks…PTB to the rescue. Y’all wanna new slogan for your town? How ‘bout: "Sparks, Home of Douchebag Politicians.” Yup…we like that one. It fits.




(8.-)

Tuesday's "Gone With The Wind"

Yesterday the Sparks City Council approved a rezoning plan that will lead to almost 3,000 new homes in the Spanish Springs area. YIKES! Who’s gonna pay for the new roads, new schools, new police and fire stations? Taxpayers. Who is gonna benefit from the new development? Developers, builders and the councilpersons in their pocket. Good thing we're in the middle of a drought, elsewise they would have approved 100,000 new houses. These guys should all be voted out of office, recalled or impeached.



Last night Dean Heller and Jill Derby ‘bated over in Elko. It got a little snippy but we want more. How ‘bout we get ‘em together next time in an MMA-type “Ring of Death”? We’d pay to watch that. Funny though…we’d make the skeevy metrosexual a decided underdog to Battle Mountain rancher lady. First time he chipped a fingernail, he’d quit.



VPILF Sarah Palin is in the 775 today. Talk about shitty timing. How in the world can anyone get off work or school in the middle of the day for something like that? We would have loved to go to the rally if for nothing else than to yell bukkake jokes at her and see if we could get perp-walked by the S.S.



Ivanka Trump is on the stump today. If we were lesser men she’d be set on us still. But that’s not the point. Beelzebub’s demon seed is touting the health benefits and the cost-savings of bringing your own lunch to work. Hey ‘Vank…we’re poor…we’ve been brown baggin’ it most of our lives. Tell you what…give us some of daddy’s money and we’ll eat out at bourgie hot spots on a daily basis then tour the country tellin’ Huckleberries to DIY.



Finally, an 89-year-old woman in Ohio is in the Gray Bar Motel today for…wait for it…wait for it…Not giving back a football some punk kids threw into her yard! JZeus-Friggin’-Christo. Let’s see…for the cost of poppin’ granny, bookin’ her, holding her, trying her and all the rest, the PoPo could have bought a hundred footballs. Yo, Marshall Dillon…don’t you have a buckeye you could be rousting?



(8.-)

No Shows

We don't really care what the City of Sparks does about its flood problems...we're just glad they're trying to fix the situation. After all, we live in the high desert and when the poop hits the prop, things go south in a hurry.



Earlier this week the Sparks City Council voted on stage two of their flood plan. It didn't pass. WTF is the big deal you say? The reason the measure failed was because three votes were needed for passage and only three council members were present for the vote.



There are only five members of the Sparks City Council. That means 40% of the council missed the meeting. This is a perfect example of why we hate the Government-Cheese. Councilmen Ron Smith and John Mayer were elected to serve their community and they shirked their responsibilities. They were MIA.



The crux of our biscuit is simple...if you're an elected official, the only excuse for missing a vote is if you're dead. Councilmen Smith and Mayer are quite alive we're sure...but if they keep up this type of behavior, they'll be missing a lot of votes. That's 'cause they won't get re-elected.


(8.-)