Presidential Treatment

For a long while now I’ve held the position that the United States Congress should loosen up a bit. Heck-fire, the House and Senate are so boring, it seems like the stick up their ass has a stick up its ass! I think it’d behoove all of us to emulate the British system. In the British House of Commons, it’s not unusual for a legislator to stand up and give Bronx cheer, or the finger or an F-Bomb to the Prime Minister. High comedy indeed. I only mention this ‘cause back here in the USo’A, the loonies on the left and elsewhere are calling for the head of South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson.

Y’all know J-Dub…he’s the brotherhubbard who shouted “You lie!” during the ‘Bamer’s JSo’C speech last night. Now, some people think that Mister Wilson was out of line but y’all gotta remember, this is America. We can say any goddamned thing we want. It’s our right. And, as citizens, it’s our duty to let the government-cheese heads know what we’re thinking. Couldn’t do that in China or Russia or Iran without ‘em slappin’ you in their version of Gitmo. True dat. Another reason I’m siding with Joe Willie on this one is ‘cause for eight long years, all I ever did was shout at George “My Pet Goat” Bush when he was on the tube. Hell, I went through more than two dozen television sets during that period ‘cause every time I saw that smarmy little chimp-dick on television, I’d toss my beer bottle at him. Aye caramba!

So cut Congressman Wilson some slack. At least, being from the S.C., he wasn’t out “hiking the old Appalachian Trail” like Governor Mark “Of The Beast” Sanford. And one quick aside for the tighty-righties out there who think I’m on your side…Bite me. I don’t roll like that. Y’all should think back to the days when you insisted that any criticism of the President of the United States amounted to treason. Remember that Reflublicans?” I do. That was back when your boy WPE was president. Maybe you should show the same kind of respect to the ‘Bamer. You should. But you won’t. That’s just how y’all roll. Hypocrites.

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Bong With the Wind

The Michael Phelps saga continues to spiral into the abyss.




As you know, last week the Daily Mirror printed a pic of the Chosen One smoking out of a bong. People were outraged. “How can he do that? He’s a role model! And “We expect better behavior from an Olympian.” Next thing you know, everyone’s got their Underoos in a bunch. Sponsors dropped Phelps quicker than bank execs spending TARP money. Phelps apologized, more sponsors bailed and now this…





Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott has decided he wants his fifteen minutes and has arrested eight, count ‘em eight people in connection with the Phelps picture. Lott says that the pic indicated to him that a crime was committed. Aye Caramba! This is the kind of thing that drives us bat-shit crazy.





First of all, owning a bong or smoking out of a bong is not a crime in America. Period...unless you're Tommy Chong. But, by merely looking at the pic, Sheriff Lott has decided a crime was committed. Great, the motherhubbard thinks he’s Nancy Drew. O.K…O.K…Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that Phelps was indeed smokin’ the ganja. Ummm…Sheriff? Is smoking reefer the most pressing law enforcement item on your agenda? No meth labs to bust there in the SC? No murders or rapists to go after? Guess not. Sheriff Lott’s over-zealous prosecution of a minor drug offense sends the wrong message to people. Law enforcement officers in South Carolina aren’t supposed to be bustin’ famous rich white kids for smokin’ the Kind… law enforcement officers in South Carolina are supposed to be bustin’ poor black people for being the wrong color. After all, that’s the kind of behavior we’ve come to expect from southern lawmen.

BTW...if we're gonna start bustin' people for the crime of "appearing in pictures with drug paraphernalia"...every rapper in the country will be spendin' some time in the Gray Bar Motel.





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