Another One Bites the Dust

Last week Mark Souder, a congressman from Indiana, an evangelical Christian who promoted abstinence education and a fire and brimstone Bible thumper resigned from office. His crime? Bangin’ a staffer who was not his wife. Of course.

It’s been said time and time again ‘round here at PTB, it’s really no one’s business if a politician is “hiking the Appalachian Trail” or having a RentBoy “carry his luggage." That is, unless that politician’s entire career is centered around “family values.”

Everyone in the world knew that Slick Willie was gonna be bangin’ skanks in the Oval Office. Everyone in the world knew that John Edwards was a horndog with a wandering doodle. They weren’t trying to foist their moral superiority on people and that was just fine.

The problem comes when a holier-than-thou, homophobic, right-wing nutcase who says that marriage is sanctified by God gets popped doin’ the horizontal mambo with someone other than the missus. Representative Souder did the right thing in resigning...Senator John "Able Semen" Ensign, are you listening?

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WTgiF

So…the story says Liz Edwards is kickin’ ole Johnny boy to the curb. Thanks Captain Obvious. She shoulda done it a long time ago....or, at least, pulled a Lorena Bobbitt on his dumb ass. Do ya think the soon-to-be ex-Mrs Edwards would be interested in rebound sex? Gotta look her up on Facebook. Yup.

Another story in the news today says that only one penny of every dollar given for Haitian earthquake relief is given to the Haitian government. Good. Those rat-bastards woulda just spent it on themselves. Always have. That’s why Haiti is in the messed up situation it’s in right now (earthquake notwithstanding). But here’s my question: Out of that dollar…thirty three cents goes to the US military. WTF? Don’t we already pay for GI Joe? Fuckin’-A…thirty-three cents goes to our own military and nine cents goes to feed starving Haitians. SNAFU.

The ACORN pimp got busted earlier in the week for tryin’ to Watergate Senator Mary Landrieu’s office. His lawyer says that it was just a prank and he’s just a kid. How come when a right-wing nutcase does something wrong, it’s a “prank” and when some lefty does something wrong it’s a symptom of Obama’s Socialist Regime. Aye caramba!

And finally…today is National Puzzle Day. HUZZAH! So I’m gonna try to solve this puzzle. Yesterday on Faux News, Rudy-In-The-Booty said that the ‘Bamer was a pussy ‘cause he didn’t use the word “war” in the SOTU addy. Problem is, Barry-O used the word “war” at least eight times by my count. The puzzle? WTF is Rudy Guliliani still doin’ on TV and why does Faux News let him spout crap outta his lie-hole? One can only guess.

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Shave and a Haircut...Two Bits

Question: If the RNC shelled out $150,000 to dress Caribou Barbie…doesn’t that make the $200 John Edwards spent on a haircut seem kinda piddly?



Yesterday, VPILF Sarah Palin said that the election is “in God’s hands.” Question: If the Palin/McCain ticket loses, does that mean that God hates republicans or just Governor Palin? Does it mean JZeus' Dad likes Barack Obama? That would be one hell of an endorsement.



Speaking of endorsements…over the weekend Former Secretary of State Colin Powell endorsed the ‘Bamer. That was enough for us. Colin Powell is a big hero ‘round here at PTB. What followed though, made us wanna ralph. For the last few days, the tighty-righties have been hammering Powell. Seems they think he’s some kinda traitorous, terrorist-lovin’, un-American, elitist, liberal. Ya know, we don’t mind those terms bein’ used against almost anyone…but Colin Powell? C’mon. Anyone questioning Powell’s patriotism or judgment needs to have their head examined.


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