He Slammed, She Slammed, They All Slammed Islam

One of the sacred cows we love skewering here at PTB is religion. Not necessarily religion in and of itself, but the inevitable hypocrisy that goes with it. Think about it: How many Christians here in the USo’A wanted revenge after 9/11? More than you’d think. If that isn’t hypocrisy, what is?



The latest in the line of “Do what we say, not what we do” is Islam. Last month at the United Nations a group of 57 countries entered a resolution. The resolution said that offending Islamic sensitivities is a “serious affront to human dignity” which could lead to “social disharmony”, “violations of human rights” and “incitement to religious hatred in general and against Islam in particular.” Is that so? Gandhi once said, “A religion that takes no account of practical affairs and does not help to solve them is no religion.” Uh oh, did Gandhi just piss off the entire Muslim world? Aye Caramba!

Does Islam prove Gandhi right? What they’re doing here isn't solving problems or practical affairs...they're shielding their religious ideas and teachings from criticism or debate. So we’re gonna take on this magilla head on…just like you knew we would.



Serious affronts to human dignity? Ask any Muslim woman how that fuckin’ Burqa feels in the middle of a Saudi summer.



Social disharmony? Ask the ruling Mullahs of Iran what they do to “infidels” in their country.



Violations of human rights? Ask the Muslim killers of Daniel Pearl what human rights are.



Incitement to religious hatred? How many Muslims have Jewish friends or relatives? How many Catholics or Baptists or Mormons live and work in Afghanistan, or Pakistan, or Qatar? ZERO. So the next time Islam wants us to tone down the rhetoric, we’re gonna drop trou and shake our pink asses in their general direction. Now that would offend anyone.

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Putting the "Us" Back In Caucus

We'll admit it...we're civics geeks. While all the other kids were out riding their Big Wheels or stuck like Velcro to the couch, watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island…we were in our bedroom hand-painting Ross Perot campaign signs. So, tomorrow is the Nevada caucus and we're stoked! That being said…here is our short take on the relevant candidates. One quick note…ANYONE will be better than WPE.




Hillary Clinton – Who’ll SHE bang in the Lincoln Bedroom? America’s version of Maggie Thatcher. If she were a man, they’d call her tough. She’s a woman so they call her a bitch. No double standard there.




John Edwards – Corporate lawyer sleezeball turned anti-corporate zealot – EazyE sleeps with the fishes…or the dogs. Could win due to his metrosexuality and his smooth southern twang. Americans vote with their little heads…not their big ones.




Barack Obama – If he doesn’t get BobbyK’d, he’ll certainly get an Oswald. But there’s nothing that scares the bejeezus out of the establishment more than a brown-skinded brother. The change candidate is gonna get short-changed ‘cause there’s no way the racists and the war-mongers and conformists are gonna let a brother win.




Mitt Romney – He’s a second generation politician – smoother than a baby’s bottom. But swift-boating a Mormon is easier than poppin’ an under-funded infidel with an IED. Looks a lot like a skeevy Ted Danson.




Mike Huckabee – By declaring that the Constitution should be remade in the image of God and that Evolution is a “theory”…he needs a good nail gun accident. He forgets that the Invisible Man Up In The Sky only cares about athletes, actors and “Tel-evan-fraud-ulists.”




John McCain – War. What is it good for? You can take the dog out of the fight but you can’t take the fight out of the dog and this dog is just itchin’ for a fight. “Iran called us what?” If you have stock in Halliburton, Blackwater, Boeing or the guys that are building the immigration wall…he’s your man.




Fred Thompson – The last bad actor to run for president ran against Peanut Head, gave us the Iran/Contra scandal and trickle-down economics. What is it that makes people think a B-list actor is qualified to be the leader of the free world?




Rudi Giuliani – screwed up 9/11…Now he wants to screw things up nationally. He was in charge of the NY during “Broom Handle In The Butt-Gate”. More spouses than Zsa Zsa Gabor. Rudy makes Slick Willie look like a Shaolin Monk.




Ron Paul – This is the one cracker that scares the bejeezus out of the establishment. He’s the shiny pink version of Obama. But his views on drugs are closer to Rastafarian than republican. Not. A. Chance. In. Hell.










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Baby You Can Drive My Car

Women want to drive in Sand-Diego?


INFIDELS!!!


While the Bush-Wipe is sucking commie ball-sack...


and his skronk is bawlin 'bout Burma...


This is how are allies behave.


If you let Muslim women drive cars...next thing you know they're wanting to cure cancer, solve global warming or bring about world peace.


At least Saudi women drive better than their male counterparts!


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