Airheads

Over the weekend 22-year-old Steven Hinton won the Reno Championship Air Races Unlimited Gold division piloting his P-51 Mustang, Strega, at more than 490mph. The headline read…”Reno Air Races close with historic victory.” You know what I thought when I read that story? When P-51’s were out there in R/L, waxing Zeroes and poppin’ caps at the Luftwaffe they were being flown by kids just as young, and younger, than Hinton. There is a reason those brotherhubbbards are called the “Greatest Generation.” They were twentysomethings and they were flying life or death missions in the greatest war of the 20th Century. Nowadays, 21-year-olds are most likely still living with mommy and daddy and workin’ at the drive thru of some greasy burger joint. Sad.



Speaking of sad. Gen. Stanley McChrystal has requested an additional 30,000-40,000 U.S. troops for the war in Afghanistan. StMcC says that if he doesn’t get the requested troops, the war in Afghanistan will be lost. So, what’s so sad? Sad is the fact that thousands more brave American soldiers will be put in harm’s way for this sham of a war. Sad is Bowe Bergdahl is still being held prisoner by the bad guys and no one seems to care. But saddest of all, is the fact that Stanley McChrystal, a fucking American general, has no idea that we’ve already lost the war in Afghanistan. And the chucklenut is either too blind or too stupid to realize it. SHEESH!




And finally…here we go again. The headline in today’s RGJ blared, “Region to get a new slogan.” Seems the RSCVA wants to boost visitor numbers and they think a new slogan will do the trick. Yeah, that always works. Now, I know what you’re sayin’, “The RSCVA has someone on board who thinks? Hardly. We did this a couple of months ago when the City of Sparks wanted to change their nickname from the “Rail City” to something like, “City of the Blowing Tulips.” GAWD! So, I guess if the RSCVA thinks “America’s Adventure Place” isn’t “cool or hip enough” of a slogan…I humbly offer my suggestions…


Reno… ‘Vegas’ ugly stepsister.”

“Reno…it’s not just for old ladies playing nickel slots anymore. We’ve got penny slots too!”

“Reno…what happens here is just more expensive than when it happens at home.”

“Drought? What drought? There’s no stinking drought!”

“Reno…we’ve got both kinds of music…country and western!”



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Nuggets From the Mind Shaft

The war of words between University Chancellor Jim Rogers and Governor Jim Gibbons is starting to resemble something out of the “WWE.” Now, we’ve never been ones to run away from a public cat fight but, c’mon guys. There’s real work to be done and y’all are acting like a couple of schoolgirls. Tell you what…if you two wanna fight, meet us downtown during halftime of a Bighorns game. We’ll rope y’all off some space and you can beat each other to smithereens. Winner gets his way, loser gets to steppin’. Either that, or STFU and get to work. Babies.




Speaking of fights…last week a couple of Spanish Springs high school students got into some fisticuffs. Gay rights advocates are calling it a hate crime while the Washoe County Sheriff says it wasn’t. That got us to thinkin’…when has a fist fight ever NOT been a hate crime? Just wondering.




The fighting has stopped, for now, in Gaza. Israel sure blew the shit out of that place. So when we read the story ‘bout U.S. aid to Gaza the bile started to rise. According to a report, the USo’A is gonna pay….wait for it…wait for it…$900 MILLION for Gaza reconstruction. WTF is up with that? Hey guys…Israel did the band damage in Gaza…not America. How the fuck come we’ve gotta pay for reconstruction? Israel broke it, Israel should have to pay for it. $900 million could go a long way back here in the states.




And finally, last week we told you about the City of Sparks spending gobs of scratch tryin’ to “re-brand” their identity. When residents heard about it they went BSC. No surprise there. But the story gets better…A city spokesman said the branding, development and marketing action plan is only a DRAFT plan. He said none of the 28 recommendations has been implemented and at a later date, the city council may take action on some, all, or none of them. AYE CARAMBA!!! You mean to say that, after spending all that dough, Sparks officials might not even use the new slogan? What kind of reaction did they think residents were gonna have when they heard the news? No matter folks…PTB to the rescue. Y’all wanna new slogan for your town? How ‘bout: "Sparks, Home of Douchebag Politicians.” Yup…we like that one. It fits.




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Branded

We just found out the City of Sparks gave more than a hundred G’s to a Seattle company to create a “brand identity” for the city. Our question to the powers-that-be in the Rail City: WTF? They don’t have marketing consultants here in the 775? Typical lack of respect for local talent by political douchebags who just don’t get it. Anyway…we did a little research and found a couple of slogans that didn't make the cut:



Sparks. Come for the railroad, stay for the hobos.


Sparks. It could be worse.


Sparks. Like it or lump it.


Sparks. Not just for meth labs anymore.


Sparks. Harassing minorities since 1904.


Sparks. We have to love it. We live here.


Sparks. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Gays!


Sparks. If you’ve been here, you know.


Sparks. Live it. Love it. Now get the hell out!


Sparks. Don’t blame us, we voted for John McCain.





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