Tortured Logic

Write it in stone…You can’t call yourself a Christian if you believe in torture. Period. In a story out today, evangelicals say they’re fighting their conscience about waterboarding prisoners. I know what you’re saying, “Evangelicals have a conscience?”


The spiel coming out of the lie-holes of right wing nut jobs is that a terrorist could have information of an imminent attack on America. They figure, if that’s the case, then torture the bastard to get the pertinent information. It’s called the “Jack Bauer-24” scenario. We have just one tiny problem with that…



FULL DISCLOSURE: Every time you watch “24” on FOX, we here at PTB make one million dollars!



The problem is that “24” is a goddamned television show! It has as much to do with real-life terrorism and interrogation as Reno-911 has to do with the Reno Police Department. Wait, bad example. Put it to you this way: fictionalized scenarios for television dramas have little or nothing to do with how those things would turn out in real life. It’s fiction. But the tighty-righties would have you believe that some fake-assed T.V. show is the real deal. Poppycock.



Fact: Torture doesn’t work.

Fact: Torture is a crime.

Fact: Americans torturing Muslims is a recruitment tool for al Qaeda.



So, if you consider yourself a Christian, you can't condone torture – you must condemn torture. Remember, you were taught to “turn the other cheek.” ‘Cause I’m pretty sure when JZeus said, “My cup runneth over.” He wasn’t talking about waterboarding.



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Thank Full

Thanksgiving, the day we all get together with people we don’t like, eating crap we don’t need while wasting away the equivalent of what a poor family eats in a friggin’ month…don’t believe us?

Click Here.

What else is there to be thankful for today?

We’re thankful that we’re not bellboys in Mumbai.

We’re thankful we’re not in the suck.

We’re thankful we’re not Sarah Palin’s backdrop…

or the Detroit Football Lions...

But most of all, we’re thankful that, finally, Reno 9-11 caught the Bad Guy. Here’s hoping for justice and that this BSC rat-bastard will be eating Thanksgiving Dinner in his 3x3 ‘til its time to take a dirt nap.

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Draggin' Ass

Reno 911’s gonna spend time, effort resources and money to stop…get this…illegal drag racing! They seem to think it’s the scourge of the 775. Do you know how much that’s gonna cost? Lots. All to bust the Fast and the Furious. Tell you what guys…here’s how you bust illegal drag racers.

Go to a 7-11 on a Saturday night and wait for a souped-up rice rocket to roll in. When the driver asks for $120 in premium gas and two tanks of nitrous oxide…you’re close. Then, look out into the parking lot and when you see a hoopty full of drunked out skeezers yellin’ “GO GREASED LIGHTNIN”!!! You’ve got ‘em…cheap and easy.

As for us…we think there are better ways for the PoPo to spend their time and effort…like bringing Brianna justice. Guess it’s much easier bustin’ Mario Andretti than it is to catch a killer. Easy? Yes. High priority? No.

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Random Acts of Mindless

There’s so much goin’ on ‘round the place we wanted to talk about as many of ‘em as time would allow. So today, we’re all over. Think of it as “drive-by posting.”



There was so much security around the Olympic torch yesterday, it looked like John McCain visiting a Baghdad market.



The city of Reno has to pay $100,000 to a couple of dancers and their boss ‘cause they got roughed up by the RePoPo. Their crime? Stripping without a license. SHEESH! Yo Reno-911…go find Brianna’s killer and leave the strippers alone.



You can’t go on strike and picket your work unless you give ‘em an exact time? That’s one of the stupidest friggin’ rules on the book.



A couple of cops in the NYC get busted for buying illegal steroids from the bad guys. Now NYPD Blue is gonna randomly test all 36,000 officers. Another example of why “Rudy in the Booty” are BSC!



No one wanted the biomass plant down in the Capital ‘ceptin’ the government-cheese. Turns out the people were right. The bugger’s gonna cost us more than it earns for the next 17 years. And now, we’re spendin’ more than a half a million dollars to hire peeps to work the thing ‘cause the state doesn’t have anyone qualified to run it. Who was gonna run it originally? Inmates. Wonder why we hate politicians?



Finally, Sgt. Timothy Smith. Another life wasted on the lies of pResident GWB. This fuckin’ war is NEVER gonna end. Saddest part is that most of the 775 voted for chimp-dick. TWICE! They tell you they support our troops and you believe ‘em. Then the troops get tagged and bagged and you STILL believe ‘em. Must be easy bein’ a sheep.




(8.-)

Insane in the Membrane

Sometimes we wonder WTF the people are thinking. Insane Clown Posse is a group of heavy metal rappers. It’s not the kind of stuff the blue hairs (with their blue license plates) like to listen to. As a matter of fact, ICP’s music is EXACTLY what you’d play if you wanted to cheese-off anyone over the age of, say 30.


But every generation had their own music to scare skidmarks into the adult population. Remember the devil’s Jazz music back in the ‘20’s?

How ‘bout Elvis & his pelvis in the ‘50’s?

The Beatles anyone?

Remember the 70’s when THESE guys were scary?


Here at PTB we believe that music is a lot like ice cream. Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry are o.k. but every once in a while we crave a spinach, onion skin and broccoli sorbet. That’s what ICP would be if they were a sorbet. But it’s just music.


Well, here we go again. It seems that the RenoPoPo have labeled ICP, their music and their artwork…get this…gang affiliated! Say it ain’t so! Gang-bangers listen to Heavy metal rap music? No wonder they run when we crank up our Hawkshaw Hawkins tunes!


ANYWAY…up steps Meadowood Mall security. They’re enforcing a new rule that states you cannot wear ICP attire inside the mall. If you do…you’ll get the bum’s rush.


WTF are these people thinking? Someone from Meadowood suggested that ICP garb is “intimidating.” Thanks Captain Obvious. What’s next? Banning halter tops and short skirts ‘cause some geeky nerds are intimidated by girl-flesh?

What about banning cowboy hats and boots if some PETA-wipe is intimidated by the sight of a dogie-puncher?

How ‘bout banning McQueen football players from wearing their letter jackets ‘cause it scares the bejeezus out of the rest of the 775’s 4A high school footballers?


The crux of our biscuit is simple…maybe as simple as the minds who thought up this ludicrous policy. If you’re intimidated by the clothes someone is wearing…you’d be better off moving to China or North Korea where they all wear the same drab, boring shit. If you’re intimidated by a heavy metal rap group…just wait a few years. The next generation’s gonna have their own kids and their “Elvis” is gonna be even scarier!





(8.-)

Cooling Off Hot August Nights

So, Reno 911 wants to stop crime during Hot August Nights…an admirable goal.

So whadda they do?

They log on to Craig’s List to bust the EVIL HO’s!!!!

WORST CRIMINAL ACTIVITY EVER!!!!!

No, they didn’t bust Crystal darkness, OBL or Dick... they popped EVIL HO's!!!

Finding hookers on Craig’s list easier than finding an anal-retentive, perverted cracker in the Republican party.

Wanna get the real HAN bad guys? Run A DUI checkpoint on South Virginia street.

It's hypocritical because 30 miles away you CAN pay for sex…


When they say they're here to "serve and protect"...THEY'RE LYING!!!


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