Thursday Thought Bubbles

VPILF Sarah Palin is prepping for tonight’s battle with Joey the Shark by goin’ to…get this…GOP Debate Camp. WTF do they teach you there? How to confuse Shiite and Sunni? How to pee with a wide stance? The proper display and disposal of flag pins? Or maybe you learn how weather patterns are affected by gay sex. Either way, we’re looking forward to the debate more than a Rastafarian looking forward to the first spliff after a urine test.





One more thought on the VPILF. The other day she was asked if she knew of any SCOTUS decisions she disagreed with besides Roe v Wade. She couldn’t think of one. Here at PTB our most hated decision is Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad, but we’re civics geeks. Hell, wanna bet if she was asked which SCOTUS decisions she agreed with, she couldn’t come up with one of those either? Guess now we know what Dan Quayle would have looked like with boobs.



Number nerds have figured that Barack Obama is more likely to live out his presidential term than John McCain. Hmmm…think so? The slide rule smarty pants suggest McCain’s age and health make him a prime candidate to take a dirt nap while in office. We disagree. As soon as the ‘Bamer moves in to the White House the clock is ticking. Bass-ackward, redneck, inbred, hillbilly crackers will be lining up to JFK him. There’s nothing whitey hates more than a successful brown-skinded brother. Well, maybe a successful woman.




How come when Heath Ledger, the creepy Olsen Twin, Rush Limbaugh, Heather Locklear and their ilk get busted with ‘scripts, no one gets charged with a crime but when Snowboarding Spicoli gets caught with the kind on his way to Burning Man he gets Abu Ghraibed? Just asking.




Closer to home…The Environmental Protection Agency says that Yucca Mountain has to be designed to protect against excessive radiation exposure to residents of the 702 for up to…wait for it…a million years. SHEESH! Who’s gonna be around if the motherhubbard starts leaking in 3008? That’s only a thousand years. Heck, the EPA can’t even make sure FEMA trailers are free of asbestos. How’re they gonna pull this off?




Finally…y’all know we love our dogs here at PTB. In the Sunshine State our counterpart is Greg LeNoir. Last week GLeN was swimming with his rat terrier when Jaws III popped in from out of nowhere and started doin’ the reverse McGruff. Seeing his pup turning into a taste test, GLeN jumped in and pulled an Ali on the fish. BAM! Down goes Frazier! Human and canine came out of it with minor scratches…the shark reportedly wants a rematch down in ‘Vegas.




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Labor Day Liturgy

We could see it if John McCain would’ve picked With Romney or Rudi-In-The-Booty as his VP. But by picking Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, one smokin’ hot “VPILF”, it seems like the GOP is giving up on the November elections. If the tighty-righties wanted a grrl for the number two spot, they’d have been better off pickin’ Condi. BTW…has there ever been more rocket hot women in politics than right now? We think not.

According to a report from the Rand Corporation, “Current U.S. strategy against the terrorist group al Qaida has not been successful in significantly undermining the group's capabilities. Al Qaida has been involved in more terrorist attacks since Sept. 11, 2001, than it was during its prior history and the group's attacks since then have spanned an increasingly broader range of targets in Europe, Asia, the Middle East and Africa.” Here at PTB, we’ve been sayin’ that exact same thing for more than a half a decade. Regular readers can now, officially, look down their noses at the unwashed masses.

So, Sparks Middle School has gone Borg. Funny...while we’re big fans of the schoolgirl look here at PTB, we’ve gotta ask: “Isn’t that the very same thing those Godless Commie rat-bastard North Koreans do to their kids? Yup.

Last week, Reno-911 busted some poor Rasta for drugs while he was on his way to Burning Man. They can't catch the murders or the arsonists or the robbers out there on the loose but they spend their time and effort and our money bustin' Bob Marley wannabes for weed. Way to protect and serve.

Well…it’s Labor Day weekend and y’all know what that means. No, we’re not talkin’ ‘bout a three day weekend. Heck, we live in the 775. Most of the folks up here got jobs that don’t give a schizzle what day it is. No, we’re talkin’ ‘bout the Jerry Lewis labor Day MDA Telethon.

FULL DISCLOSURE: This year’ll be the 12^th Telethon we’ve been involved with.

The crux of today’s biscuit is simple…The “greatest country on earth” can spend ten BILLION dollars a month blowin’ up brown-skinded innocent folk. Yet, to cure this heinous disease that affects millions of Americans, the good ole USoA relies on France’s favorite comedian to raise money. That just doesn’t seem right.

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It's Like Finding A Needle In An Ass Crack

Well the Mitchell Report is out and so are eighty-something rat bastards. We’ve said it before here at PTB…we’re not against drugs…


We’re against hypocrisy.


We’re against cheaters.


We’re against liars.


The really sad part about this clusterfuck is that the Mitchell Report only investigated steroid related stuff…not amphetamines. Athletes in all sports pop dexies and cross tops and rippers like they were M&M’s and no one gives a shit.


But if you have the ganja in your system…you get busted. Think a rasta buzz is “performance enhancing?” No. Think those in charge care? No again.


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