Showing posts with label Ronald Reagan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ronald Reagan. Show all posts

Friday, December 11, 2009

Shooting Blanks



Back in the day, the “King of All Righties,” Ronald Reagan, was hell-bent on building a missile defense system. The media dubbed it “Star Wars.” It was a quick and easy way for Uncle Ronnie to line the pockets of his defense contractor buddies. It was the expansion of the military/industrial complex, just like Ike said.



Fast forward to earlier this year. Tighty-righties, intent on undercutting anything the ‘Bamer suggested, were skidmarking their Underoos because President Barry-O wanted to scrap Bush-era plans for the same type of MDS. “He’s soft on National Security,” they screamed. “He’ll get us all killed,” they blathered. Turns out…as usual…the right-wing nut cases were wrong.



Earlier this week, the Russkies test launched a new, long-range missile – just the type of weapon Star Wars and its descendents were supposed to protect us from. You wanna know what happened? POOF! For the seventh time in twelve tries, the Red Enemy failed to get their missile to work right. That’s less than a fifty percent success rate.



Now, you won’t hear any mea culpas from the boogity boogity crowd. That’s not how they roll. But remember this…the Republicans will do anything to get reelected. They’ll make up facts and twist words and pervert ideas and try to scare the bejeezus outta people all for their own electoral gain. that's how they roll. It worked for a while but Americans are wising up to that charade. Here’s hoping that in the 2010 and 2012 election cycles, those tactics work just as well as the new Russian missles. Then, the only defense system we’ll need is the vote.




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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Chain Letter


We get e-mails like this on a consistent basis. Today, a reply. The original letter is in bold white type. The red type is all PTB.

The author, Lou Pritchett is a well-known public speaker who retired after a successful 36-year career as the VP World Sales for Proctor and Gamble.



AN OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA
Dear President Obama:
Well, at least he got the intro right.

You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.
This is what I call the “pussification of America.” C’mon, chickenshit…Obama is scarier than the Bush-Wipe?

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.
Obviously, this douchebag doesn’t get cable T.V., or magazine subscriptions, or read the newspaper, or how to work the Google machine. Know nothing is right.

You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.
It’s called a student loan. It’s called a scholarship. And since he was a practicing attorney when he got out of law school…that should give you a clue as to where he got his money. Unlike George W. Bush who got his Ivy League education and all his money from his daddy!

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.
WTF does that mean? America is the melting pot of ALL cultures. That’s what makes this country great! Who cares where he spent his “formative years?”

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.
George Bush ran the Texas Rangers baseball club, with an unlimited payroll and managed no better than fourth place. EVER! Yup, that dude was a real winner. BTW…Reagan, Eisenhower and Kennedy didn’t run companies before they were elected President either.

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.
Three words regarding Obama’s lack of military service – George Fucking Bush. And don’t tell me playing hooky with the Texas National Guard is “military service.” Besides, look what the right-wing nut jobs did to John Kerry for serving in the military. BTW…Dr. Evil (aka Dick Cheney) took more than thirteen deferments to get out of serving his country. Pussy.

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.
Humility? Ummm…when the ‘Bamer went to Europe and apologized for the Bush years, y’all crucified him for being humble. Now you want humility? SHEESH! As far as class…c’mon…did you see Bush manhandle Angela Merkel at the ’07 G8? That Texas huckleberry is a walking faux pas. As far as blaming others…has ANYONE in the Bush administration taken responsibility for 9/11? Iraq? Afghanistan? The economy? Nope.

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.
Reverend Wright was just saying what a lot of other people are thinking. You want radical extremists? Governor Bobby Jindal performed a fucking EXORCISM on a girl when he was in college. Sarah Palin’s preacher man believes in witches and ghosts. Talk about radicals…YIKES!

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America' crowd and deliver this message abroad.
You could construe that as humility…we went over that a couple of lines ago.

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.
The government dominates the military, the police, who I can fuck, who I can marry, what I can smoke or snort. We’ve been living in a socialist nation for a long time now…y’all just don’t see it.

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government-controlled one.
America is the only industrialized nation in the world without universal healthcare. Does the system we have now work? $50 for an aspirin should give you the answer.

You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.
Oil, coal and shale mess up the environment. They are high-pollution emitters. This troglodyte puts quotes around “windmills” like wind power, or solar power are stupid.

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.
Highest standard in the world? Hardly. Been to the Lower Ninth Ward in the N.O. lately? How 'bout oakland? Detroit? American capitalists are the ones who got us into this mess. The banks, the oil companies…look at all the war profiteering going on in Iraq and Afghanistan…yeah right…American capitalists…model citizens. Just take a look at Bernie Madoff if you want a clear picture of an American capitalist. Loser.

You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.
Fuck extorting them…let ‘em fail. But don’t forget Chimp-Dick giving $800 BILLION, no strings attached, no oversight money to the banks. The rich helping their rich friends. BTW…after seeing some of those AIG parties, the motherfuckers don’t need extortion…they need jail time!

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.
Here we go again…the federal government grew bigger under George W. Bush and the republican revolutionaries in the House and Senate than at any other time in history. Bush came in with a surplus…he left with the biggest deficit ever. Was this chucklehead ever “scared” of George Bush? Nope…but he shoulda been.

You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.
The tighty-righties believe in intelligent design, they’re against stem cell research and believe in an Invisible Man in the Sky. They think tax cuts for the rich are the answer to all of life’s problems. Intelligence is not their strong suit.

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient.
When did he tell you that? How do you know? This motherfucker is baggin’ on the ‘Bamer for being cocky? Arrogant? WTF? Doesn’t he remember, “Mission Accomplished” and “You’re either with us, or against us?” Talk about a pompous ass. BTW…Bush says history will prove him a great president. Not. Gonna. Happen.

You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.
For the last month left wing, radical media outlets like MSNBC and CNN have badgered Obama over the fact he isn’t gonna prosecute those who sullied our international reputation by allowing torture. Just last night Obama was on Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person in the World” list. Free Pass? The media was lickin’ Bush’s nut sack after 9/11 and didn’t start in on him ‘til 2007. Speaking of the media givin’ Barry-O a free ride, turn on Faux News Channel for ten minutes. You’ll see what I mean.


You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaughs, Hannitys, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.
How does he want to do that? Obama famously said he wanted to reach across the aisle to work with republicans. So far, not one republican has voted for one Obama idea. The party of hate. The party of fear. The party of no. Obama doesn’t demonize those slathering lie-holes…I do. BTW…if the conservative viewpoint is “I hope the President fails,” then conservatives are all traitors.
You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing. Who controlled media access to returning dead soldiers? Who spied on INNOCENT Americans without warrants? Who kidnapped people off the streets and sent them to countries for torture? C’mon…you know it was George Bush.

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.
Lou…I’m gonna be blunt here…you’re a fuckin’ moron. You’re a hate-mongering, gay bashing, fascist, without a new idea in your entire brainpan. There is one area of this letter where I agree with you – you are scared…and you should be.


Your time is over. Y’all had your chance and you drove the country into the shit-storm from hell. It’s gonna take a lot of time and effort to get us outta the mess that George W. Bush and his cronies got us into and I’m proud that President Barack Hussein Obama is the one trying to lead us out of it. The Invisible Man in the Sky surely knows we need the help.

Lou Pritchett
pj Connolly

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Phoning it In


It seemed to us like George W. Bush was president forever. While it might have felt like an eternity, the numbers don't lie. Out of the 2,920 days the Chimp-Dick was in office, he spent...wait for it...wait for it...1,020 days on vacation, breaking the old mark sent by Ronald "I don't remember" Reagan. That's one third of his entire time as pResident on VACATION! Talk about fiddlin' while Rome burns...We haiku our thoughts.
He's out in Texas
while the country goes to hell.
He'll be down there soon.
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Monday, September 22, 2008

Lemme Hold A Dollar


Much like the little raggimuffin Oliver holding out his empty gruel bowl and asking the head of the orphanage, “Please sir, may I have some more?” Chimp-Dick stood in front of the American people last week and asked for $700 BILLION to bail out the bourgie fat-cat bankers of Wall Street.


There are two prongs to the fundamentalist extremists in the Reflublican party. The warmongering hawks like Dr. Evil, Rummy and Karl Rove and the economic, free-market turds like Phil Gramm and John McCain. Both groups have only their selfish interests at heart. Don’t believe us? We’ll go with the neo-econo-cons for now…


Back in the day Ronald “Celebrity, Actor, Elitist” Reagan helped his tighty-righty friends deregulate the Savings and Loan industry. What happened? The greedy rat-bastards stole all their investors’ money and the Government-Cheese bailed ‘em out with…wait for it…wait for it…taxpayer money!


Since then they’ve deregulated, then had to bail out:

Energy Corporations

The Housing Market

Banks

Insurance Companies

And now, possibly, the Auto industry.


Ay Caramba! They deregulate an industry so their corporate cronies can steal all the money they can, then they put us…you and me…on the hook for the bill. It’s called corporate welfare and the Reflublicans are fond of it. Think about it…


If you opened up an ice cream store and only served flavors like Mushroom Cap and Potato-skin Swirl or Liver and Onion Sorbet…all the while skimming profits and cooking the books…you’d go out of business pretty quick. If that happened, do you think the Government-Cheese would bail you out? Hell. No.


Do you know who famously said, “The fundamentals of our economy are strong.”? If you’d have said John McCain…you’d only be 2008 right. The first person we can confirm said it was…wait for it…wait for it…HERBERT FRIGGIN’ HOOVER! He said it in 1931. Nice. What’s that they say about those who forget history? Nah, forget it…



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Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Reagan Defense -- "I don't remember"


Ya know, this Jim Gibbons divorce thingy is getting’ freakier every day. Hey, no problems…we here at PTB are just fine with freaky. But we wanna make two observations about the Gov’s recent revelations:


Yo GJG…you text messaged your skronk almost a thousand times in a six week period and you say you don’t remember what any of the messages were. Nice. Aren’t you supposed to have more than a tiny brain pan to be the friggin’ governor? It’s the typical politician’s alibi. Deny it happened then, when you get caught, say you don’t remember.



You said that in the early months of your administration that you’d talk to your paramour about your office, your tax policy and your personnel decisions. Question for you Jimmy boy: Do you think it’s proper for you, as Governor, to discuss personnel matters with your ‘ho? Believe this…if you were a democrat, the tighty-righties would have already opened a can of impeaches on your ass. Do us all a favor…resign. Then you won’t have the big, bad, evil media monsters tracking your every move anymore. That’ll be up to the Bush-wipes' secret eavesdropping program.
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