Fry On Freebird

Albert Hoffman sleeps with the fishes today. No worries, he was 102 years old and when you get up into triple digits like that, you pretty much know you’re a short-timer.



Now, y’all might be thinkin’ to yourselves, “WTF is Albert Hoffman?” Well, the Hoffster wasn’t what you’d call a household name but he was the chemist who discovered lysergic acid diethylamide-25 in 1938. That’s right. Pre-WWII, good ole’ Albert invented LSD. After Tim Leary made acid popular in the ‘60’s and a couple of dumb-asses jumped out of windows, making it SCARY to the establishment, in stepped the Government-Cheese. They banned the drug in 1966.



“BOOGITYBOOGITYBOOGITY,” they said. “We’ve got to keep this dangerous drug out of the hands of innocent Americans! It’s for their own safety.” Yeah right. Here’s the crux of today’s biscuit:



If the Government-Cheese is worried about drugs and our safety, how come alcohol is legal? If the Government-Cheese is worried about drugs and our health, how come tobacco is legal? Why? ‘Cause they make a lot of money from the sales and taxing of those drugs. Bet your bottom dollar that if the Government-Cheese found a way to distribute, sell and tax LSD, there’d be vending machines everywhere sellin’ it.



The United States government never has and never will care about you, your safety or your health. They only care about spending your money. Is LSD really bad for you? Albert Hoffman took acid trips for decades…and he lived to be 102. So much for that theory.








(8.-)

Going Green

It looks like Mary Ann is quite fond of Mary Jane. Yup. Dawn Wells, one of the favorite daughters of the 775 got popped by the PoPo for havin’ a hold of the ganja.



What makes things worse is that she got busted in Idaho (State Motto: “We’re Even Whiter Than Utah!”). She’s lucky though, she got bailed before they could administer a “Rudy in the Booty.”



We always fantasized about bangin’ the femmes on G.I. but naive Mary Ann wasn’t our first choice. Neither was smokin’ hot Ginger. No, we always wanted to horizontal bop with the older, wiser Mrs. Howell. They didn’t call her “Lovie” for nothin’! YIKES!



But the problem we have with this whole thing is the illegality of marijuana. Think about it. Tobacco kills around 300,000 people a year. Alcohol is responsible for 20,000 a year. They’re both legal and easy to buy. As of today not one death has EVER been attributed to the green bud. Not. One. And if you get busted with it, you’ll spend time in the Gray Bar Motel. You wonder why we’ve got more people in the big house than the friggin’ Chinese? This is reason one.



What we can’t figure out is that if the USofA is a Christian nation…why hasn’t anyone brought up Genesis 2:16. C’mon God peeps…read your friggin’ bibles. You’d be surprised what’s in there.



As for you you Mary Ann…come on home and we’ll light up a spliff together. Maybe you can teach us some of the things you learned from Thurston’s wife.



(8.-)