Showing posts with label Moses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moses. Show all posts

Monday, May 18, 2009

Awkward Christian Soldiers



Christians who believe in the war against global extremism, that torture is not a crime and that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are both justified have got to stop referring to the Old Testament.



A report out from GQ magazine says that former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld headlined intelligence briefings for pResident Bush with militaristic bible verses. Most of them were from the Old Testament. Wonder why?



Ya see, JZeus’ Dad in the O.T. was one mean, cantankerous, pissed off, S.O.B. Damn…he kept Moses out of the promised land. He turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt. He let his boy Job get munched by Moby Dick. There was myriad fire and brimstone and plagues and that sort of stuff. Aye caramba, that Dude was the God of war! Then, along comes Junior. Remember him? Apparently, Mr. Rumsfeld does not.



Read a couple of books from the New Testament. Know what you’ll find? Through and through, JZeus preaches tolerance, and love, and peace. He’s the exact polar opposite of His Old man. Surely, if the SOG were alive today, Rumsfeld and his ilk would brand him a pacifist…a coward…or worse…FRENCH!



It’s always a turd in the punchbowl when people kill in the name of their God but the right-wing nut cases, who claim America is a Christian nation, continually do things that would have JZeus spinning in His grave. So, which is it? Are you a true Christian Rummy, or is all that religion stuff just something y’all trot out to ease your conscience? We bet the latter.



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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Say it Ain't So Mo!

Did we read this right? The Mo was trippin’ when the “Invisible Man in the Sky” gave him the "Double High Five"? Brilliant!


People have been doin’ drugs to get mind-expansion since the first caveman licked a toad’s butt and started hallucinating.


If you’re on hallucinogenic drugs, are you really seeing God? Does God look like Jimi Hendrix? Cheech and Chong? How did you get rid of the munchies back in the B.C.? Where were the cops? Did they let Moses slide ‘cause he was a big wig? Can you see the look on Moses’ face the next day when he rolled into work and they told him he had to pee in a bottle?


That’s the crux of our biscuit though…If you need drugs to get closer to your “God” then your God might just as well be Timothy Leary!


(8.-)