Joey, Joey, Joey. Oi, Oi, Oi.

Joey Gilbert, ex-favorite son of the 775, has joined forces with a couple other lawyer-types as a spokesman for a pro-Yucca Mountain lobbying group. Now, we know what y’all are sayin’, “Joey Gilbert can speak?”





But seriously, we’re wonderin’ how a cheatin’, lyin’, punch-drunk, convicted drug user can be the spokesman for anything. That being said, Gilbert has now gone over to the dark side. How can this be? Well…Gilbert has said he’s gonna throw his hat into the ring and run for political office. No problems with that. The thing is, Joe-Go has declared himself a Republican and started getting’ tootled by State Assemblyman Ty Cobb. Republicans pushing for the NV to store the country’s nookular waste? Yup. That’s their stance on the issue.




Proponents of Yucca Mountain say the Silver State will get big bucks from the Feds by storing all that radioactive diarrhea here in the 702. They point to all the scratch Alaskans get from oil company revenues. But that’s the crux of today’s biscuit…




Alaska’s oil money comes from the oil industry. Ask the poor bastards that live near Prince William Sound what they think of oil companies. Yucca-lovers say the big bucks’ll come from the Federal Government. Bad analogy. Ya see, oil companies have been making obscene profits for decades. Give a little to the AK’ers? O.K. Problem is, the feds have been hemorrhaging money since the Bush-Wipes took office. The Fed is dirt-poor. Feds got no juice, pachuco. So, where’s the money gonna come from? Nowhere.




Tighty-righty chuckleheads like Gilbert, who hate the federal government unless they want something from it, actually believe Silver Staters are gonna get big bank from the government-cheese. Not. Gonna. Happen. Best case scenario, we get the dump and nothing leaks for a million years. Worst case scenario, some BSC motherhubbard grabs hold of Pelham 123 on the way to Yucca and blows the bejeezus outta the poor bastards in Iowa or Nebraska or down in the 702. Anyone remember Trashcan Man from the Stand? We do.




Our suggestion? Hey Joey…STFU. Just because you have an (in)famous name doesn’t qualify you to accept Yucca Mountain on our behalf. Besides…Vegas glows nicely on its own.




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Kissin' Asses for Votes

Skeevy Uncle Fester is in town today tryin’ to convince voters in the 775 he should be the next President. Good move actually. Ya see, this here part of the Silver State is redder than the ass-cheek of a ripe tomato. We’ve said it before…the only congressional district that was MORE pro-WPE is that creepy one in northern Mississippi where the most common relation is uncle-dad, cousin-grandpa and auntie-mom.

Now, we could ask Oldie McAncient all sorts of questions like “What’s the difference between Sunni and Shiite?” “How can tax cuts for the rich help the middle-class?” And our personal favorite…”So, how IS that surge a-workin’?” Problem is, Grandpa McDinosaur doesn’t have answers to those questions.

But seein’ how Geezer McAged is droppin’ by…we wanna ask him about something close to all of our hearts: Yucca Mountain. You might remember that Congress is trying to ram a nuookuler toilet down our pie holes and Senator McObsolete was all for it. The operational word there being “WAS.” Turns out the good Senator from the AZ has flip-flopped quicker than a pancake on a griddle.

So, we’ve gotta ask: “Yo JMac…if you were for sticking Nevada with the nuke dump before you decided to run for president, now you say you’re against it…how can we believe you? And what the hell else are you gonna flip-flop on just to get a couple of votes?

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