Bowling for Dollars

With the continuing effort to get us all fired up about Wolf Pack football, here's what we get:

A bowl game in the exciting metropolis of friggin' Boise, Idaho. Aren't bowl games supposed to be a reward? Maybe that's how it works...the crappier your team, the crappier your bowl game is.

Nothing like celebrating the love of humanity than with a violent sport consisting of people knocking the beJZeus out of each other.

We should be playing teams like Maryland in non-conference. Instead, we got Grambling’s band.

We’ll never make the step to the next level playing in crappy bowls against nobody’s cousin…and getting beat.

(8.-)

Must Be Monday

Bookies from Down Under are holding back payin’ the folks who bet the ‘Bamer would be the next Commander-In-Chief of the USofA. They say he could get JFK’d before he’s inaugurated. SHEESH! Talk about puttin’ a noonan on the guy. Look, there a lot of BSC, redneck, huckleberries out there and you know they wanna stir the shit. But if the powers that be can’t protect the President from some wack-job, why are they there in the first place? Besides…if someone wanted to wax a U.S. President, they’d have knocked off Chimp-Dick. Worst. President. Ever.





Good to see political observers here in the 775 thinkin’ that VPILF Sarah Palin has a bright future in the Republican Party. YEE HAW! Now, y’all know we love the ladies here at PTB -- best thing the Good Lord ever made. But if Caribou Barbie is the best female the tighty-righties can come up with, they’re in deep doo doo. C’mon guys… she didn’t know what countries made up NAFTA, she thought Africa was a country and she thought foreign policy experience was seeing Russia out her back door. YIKES! The Republican Party has officially become the party of dolts. Ronald Reagan must be spinning in his grave.



And finally today…we’ve gotta give credit where credit is due. Over the weekend THE University of Nevada put a tub-thumpin’ on Fresno State. The way the Wolf Pack played Saturday, you’d think they could beat the friggin' Pittsburgh Steelers. But that’s the problem we’ve always had with the Pack…one week they look like world-beaters, the next week...just weak. Consistency is the key for a good football program. Here’s hoping we get more of it. After all…it’s much better to be playing a bowl game between Christmas and New Years than to be playing in a bowl the week before Thanksgiving.



(8.-)

Fill 'Er Up!

Damn…$4.00+ for a gallon of gas is really startin’ to get binding here in the 775. We’ve got more roads and more space between things than just about anyone in the USofA.



The upside is that parents are makin’ little Suzie and little Johnny walk to the mall instead of givin’ ‘em a ride. That’ll burn some of the fat off their asses, neh?



Expensive gas means fewer people driving. That means less traffic and less air pollution and it’s an AWESOME karma payback for those terrorist-enabling Hummer drivers!



Have you seen the new car commercials promising $2.99/gallon gas for three years if you buy one of their vehicles? We’ve done the math and if gas goes up to $15 or $20 a gallon, that $2.99 guarantee will put some folks out of business. It reminds us of McDonalds’ 1984 Olympic food giveaway. Someone in the marketing department is sweating bullets right about now!



But $4.00+ for a gallon of gas hurts three sectors in the 775 especially hard…



NEVADA ATHLETICS – With petrol being so expensive, Wolf Pack footballers won’t have enough money to afford to both drink AND drive.



NEVADA BROTHELS – the way the Silver State is set up, the only thing farther away than brothels is the planet Uranus.



HOT AUGUST NIGHTS – Yeah, we know you need a lot of money in the first place to own a classic car, but you’re gonna have to take out a second mortgage if you wanna drive that hoopty around the 775 for any length. Besides…have you seen the mileage rating for a 1929 Cord? YIKES!



(8.-)