Hit List

Nothing better than bein' in Glen Beck's doghouse. It's also nice to see myself on television and it isn't my mugshot. True story.

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Mash Up

After watching all these black and white clips, it makes you wonder how anyone got scared back in the day. SHEESH! Not one clip of Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. Now that woulda been scary!

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Compare and Contrast

Geez...gimme a couple of hours and I coulda filled up Chimp-Dick's side tenfold. The sad thing is, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilley, Rush Limbaugh and the rest of the tinfoil hat wearin' militia, would rather still have GWB as the Commander-In-Chief. Perfect example of how broke our educational system is. True dat.

(8.-)

Hater Haters

If you’ve read the RGJ lately, either online or in dead tree form, you’d have noticed quite the vilification of Nevada head football coach Chris Ault. Shoot-fire…with all the vitriol spewin’ ‘round there, you’d think the Little General was Obama’s healthcare plan and Nevada fans were Glenn Beck’s teabag posse. YIKES! But I’m here to remind y’all about a few things.


You cannot judge an entire season after two games. You just can’t. That’d be like predicting how long a marriage will last by how long the first night of sex lasts. Not a very reliable indicator. True dat.


Chris Ault has been coaching at Nevada since they used real pig bladders for a ball. He’s in the college football hall of fame. Does an 0-2 start make him less smart than any year before? No. He’s the same coach that’s been at the helm for decades. He didn’t just all-of-a-sudden get stupid like Colin Powell did. Besides…Ault isn’t the one running and blocking and tackling. He’s also not the one NOT running and NOT blocking and NOT tackling.


And lastly…Nevada hasn’t been a major player in college football since we moved up to 1-A from 1-AA. Remember those days? Crisp Saturdays in November, playoffs at hand and the smell of victory in the air. Remember those days? I do. And I surely do miss ‘em. But the fact is, the powers-that-be decided to move up and play with the big boys and we’ve been getting’ our hats handed to us ever since. Nevada will never be one of the elite teams when it comes to college football. All we can do is take it in the keester during the non-conference schedule, hope to beat tomato cans like Idaho and San Jose State during conference and hope for a miracle against the likes of Hawaii, Fresno State and Boise State. Stranger things have happened…just not lately.


Besides…basketball season is just around the corner.


(8.-)

Chucklenuts

So, ACORN is in the news again and, as you might expect, the tighty-righties have their Underoos all up in a twist. O.K., I’m not gonna defend ACORN on this one but I do want to get to the crux of an important biscuit. Let’s just say ACORN is guilty as hell for everything they’re accused of. The worst thing to come out of it is that they get busted for registering a bunch of dead people that cannot vote anyway…because they’re dead! Does that really affect anybody? No.


But you surely can bet Glenn “I’ll Be” Beck and Rush “To Judgment” Limbaugh and “Dollar” Bill O’Reilley are having collective conniptions about ACORN. Here’s the question: If the right-wing nutcases go all ballistic over ACORN’s voter fraud, WTF haven’t they made a peep about Halliburton’s war profiteering? Or KBR’s killing of innocent civilians? Or the fact that Chimp-Dick used the Constitution to wipe his ass for eight years? Not a word from those douchebags. Nope, they’re using their straw man arguments to scare the bejeezus out of the unwashed masses and those double-digit IQ’ers are buying it hook, line and stinker. Now you know why, when money is tight, the first thing they cut is ed-u-ma-kay-shun.


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Got the Heebie GBs

All I can say is, Thank God for Glenn Beck.” Y’all know Glenn, he’s the tighty-righty, tin foil hat wearin’, BSC motherhubbard host from Faux News. Today the Beckster said what a lot of Americans have known all along. President Barack Hussein Obama is…wait for it…wait for it… President Barack Hussein Obama is a RACIST! Aye caramba!

Thank you Glenn, for tellin’ it like it is. It’s bad enough that Barry-O was born in one of the freak states and hung out with howlies and islanders and other brown-skinded brotherhubbards while he was growin’ up. But GB has exposed the ‘Bamer for what he really is…Archie Bunker with a tan!

Finally, someone is out there protecting crackers against the hatred and hypocrisy and discrimination that has plagued the white man since the founding of this great nation! Whitey will not take this oppression from minorities or women or gays any longer! And Glenn Beck, right-wing nut job, is leading the way.

(8.-)

Told Ya So

A couple of months ago, The Department of Homeland Security released a report warning about domestic terrorism that could be perpetrated by U.S. soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. The right-wing nut jobs threw a collective hissy fit. “How dare DHS, accuse American soldiers of such things?” said FatBoy. Tinfoil hat model, Glenn Beck, even went so far as to call for the resignation of DHS director Janet Napolitano. “She owes those brave soldiers an apology.” He babbled.

Well guess what? The report was right. The right? As usual, they were wrong.

Nationally, at least 121 Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans have committed a killing in the United States or been charged in one. Vets coming home from multiple tours are suffering from PTSD at staggering rates. Yet we hear nothing from the political hacks and government-cheese dicks who claim they “support our troops.” Yo, John “Able Semen” Ensign…quit playin’ with yer doodle and start payin’ attention!

When a teenager enlists in say, the National Guard, they’re promised one weekend a month and two weeks a year doin’ their Guard stuff. Nowadays, those same soldiers are ordered to multiple deployments in The Suck to situations that are untenable.

You know it…I know it. We’re not gonna win the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. They’re both turnin’ out just like Vietnam. And just like back in the ‘60’s – right-wing, war-mongering, saber rattling politicians keep sending our troops overseas to die and forgetting them the minute they step back on American soil. Every day we’re at “war,” we’re losing blood and treasure and our standing in the eyes of the world. Here’s hoping the next election provides us all a chance to rid ourselves of politicians who have no clue about how to protect the American people…or American soldiers.

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