WTgiF

So…the story says Liz Edwards is kickin’ ole Johnny boy to the curb. Thanks Captain Obvious. She shoulda done it a long time ago....or, at least, pulled a Lorena Bobbitt on his dumb ass. Do ya think the soon-to-be ex-Mrs Edwards would be interested in rebound sex? Gotta look her up on Facebook. Yup.

Another story in the news today says that only one penny of every dollar given for Haitian earthquake relief is given to the Haitian government. Good. Those rat-bastards woulda just spent it on themselves. Always have. That’s why Haiti is in the messed up situation it’s in right now (earthquake notwithstanding). But here’s my question: Out of that dollar…thirty three cents goes to the US military. WTF? Don’t we already pay for GI Joe? Fuckin’-A…thirty-three cents goes to our own military and nine cents goes to feed starving Haitians. SNAFU.

The ACORN pimp got busted earlier in the week for tryin’ to Watergate Senator Mary Landrieu’s office. His lawyer says that it was just a prank and he’s just a kid. How come when a right-wing nutcase does something wrong, it’s a “prank” and when some lefty does something wrong it’s a symptom of Obama’s Socialist Regime. Aye caramba!

And finally…today is National Puzzle Day. HUZZAH! So I’m gonna try to solve this puzzle. Yesterday on Faux News, Rudy-In-The-Booty said that the ‘Bamer was a pussy ‘cause he didn’t use the word “war” in the SOTU addy. Problem is, Barry-O used the word “war” at least eight times by my count. The puzzle? WTF is Rudy Guliliani still doin’ on TV and why does Faux News let him spout crap outta his lie-hole? One can only guess.

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Thursday Afternoon Thought Burbles

The SCOTUS ruled today that a school principal cannot strip search a 13-year-old student if he’s only searching for evidence of a couple of aspirin. DAMN…remember back in the day when you’d only get strip searched if they were lookin’ for a gun? YIKES! The SCOTUS vote was 8-1. The lone dissenter? You get three guesses but you’ll only need one. That’s right – Clarence Thomas. Yo Justice Thomas…are you still thinking with your little head instead of your big head?

Speaking of school…earlier this month at a graduation in Maine, one student walked on stage to receive his diploma and blew a kiss to his family. And WTF did school officials do? The perp-walked the little terrorist back to his seat and refused to give him his diploma. This over-stated sense of self-importance by the people in charge has been a problem ever since 9/11. Now cops, and firemen, and teachers, and republicans think that they can trample on your civil rights in order to “protect” the general population. It’s a perfect example of the pussification of America.

And lastly today…we’ve been following the events in Iran as closely as possible. Problem is, some of the images are givin’ us the willies. People getting a cap popped in ‘em? No. People getting’ the “Rudy in the Booty?” No. The thing that’s stickin’ with us is the absolute smokin’-hotness of Persian women. Smart, spunky AND beautiful. PTB…the newest uber-fan of Persian grrls.

BTW...we're doin' all we can to get Jenny Sanford and Dawn Gibbons to be the bread in a PTB sandwich. It's not Buenos Aires, but we'll make it work. Oh yeah...and Senator John "Able-Semen" Ensign...we can still see your doodle!


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London Calling

Ah, Great Britain. The land that gave us

King Arthur…

King George…

Boy George…

John, Paul, Ringo and George…have given us a WTF moment we won’t soon forget. When you think of sexy Europeans, the Brits aren’t usually on the radar. You can blame that on The Big Book of British Smiles or Queen Victoria…but that’s the crux of another biscuit.
But it seems that the outwardly uptightness of the Brits is just a cover.


Last weekend a couple of British lovebirds strolled up to the grounds outside Windsor Castle and started doin’ the rumpity-bumpity in plain view of everybody. YOW! Several Japanese tourists in the area got their memory sticks full before the Bobbies rolled up and told the couple to stop. Here’s where it gets weird:


The couple was arrested, released and given a “written warning about outraging public decency.” A written warning. A FRIGGIN’ WRITTEN WARNING! Heck-fire, a written warning is something you get when you’re late for chemistry class or when you get pulled over for a burned out tail light.



If this would have happened in the USo’A, the PoPo would have perp-walked the motherhubbards to jail and given ‘em a “Rudy in the Booty.” Then they’d get convicted and be branded sex-offenders for the rest of their lives. In Great Britain they give written warnings. Bummer. Even the British aren’t as zealously puritanical as Americans.


Junior: “Look, mommy…it’s Big Ben!”
Mommy: “No Junior…Big Ben is a clock tower. That’s a towering cock.”



Just thinking about inserting Tab ”A” into Slot ”B” scares the bejeezus out of Americans. The Brits? Not so much. Queen Victoria must be spinning in her grave. But then again, she always was a bit of a spinner.

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PoPo No No

Dammit! We wanted to go lite today seein’ as how it’s Friday and all. But circumstances have changed and we just HAVE to add our two bits.



As we’ve said many times before…here at PTB we love us the PoPo. Without them, BSC rat-bastards would be everywhere. But we’ve gotta ask…WTF is up with NYPD Blue?



Three detectives were acquitted Friday in the 50-shot killing of an unarmed man leaving his bachelor party. FIFTY FUCKIN’ SHOTS!!! Isn’t NYPD Blue trained to shoot straight? The victim was UNARMED! Hell, it’s not even the first time. Back in ’99, New York’s finest popped more than forty caps in a dude ‘cause they MISTOOK HIS WALLET FOR A GUN!!! And when they’re not using firearms on their victims, they’re using BROOMSTICKS. We call that one the “Rudy in the Booty.”



Look, we know that police work is hours of drudgery sprinkled with moments of terror. But that’s the job you chose. No one forced you to put on the uniform. No one MADE you become a cop. If you’re having trouble identifying the differences between an armed suspect and an unarmed innocent, maybe you should sign up to be a contractor for Blackwater or KBR. But if you’re gonna continue to patrol a beat, the least you could do is learn your craft to the point where you’re not killing those you swore to serve and protect.


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