Gilbert, Gibbons and the Green Door

Local boxer turned lawyer Joey Gilbert says he wants to be a State Senator. Some people are concerned about his lack of experience and that he’d only get elected through name recognition. We say, “Go for it.” Gilbert would be a great Republican State Senator. Why? He’s a lying cheater who was suspended from boxing for having more drugs in his system than Cheech and Chong. Oh yeah…AND he has a very wide stance. Yup…Joey Gilbert…Republican to the core.



Governor Jim Gibbons should just STFU when it comes to marriage. Yesterday GJG said he wouldn’t sign a bill allowing employers to give domestic partners the same benefits that traditional couples get. Yo Guv…taking marriage advice from you is like taking marriage advice from a Catholic priest. Neither of y’all know the first friggin’ thing about marriage. BTW…yo Dawn Gibbons…we’re still waiting for your call. Remember…rebound sex is the best!



Speaking of sex…Marilyn Chambers sleeps with the fishes. For decades the Ivory Snow and Behind the Green Door star kept many a young boy contented and warm. Compared to the plastic-tittied, Botox-injected, tramp-stamped porn skanks today, she was a goddess! We would say we’re gonna miss her but we have every movie she’s ever made so she’ll be with us a long time. Here’s wankin’ to you Marilyn!




(8.-)

Fluff Bombing

We’re gonna do a quick drive by today, so hang on…


This is a perfect example why Michael Vick can munch on our doodleberries. Man has seizure, man needs medical attention. Who calls 911? HIS DOG! Yup...and the canine with the cranium didn’t even need to call information to get the number. He’d already dialed 911 for his owner on two other occasions. They don’t call ‘em “man’s Best Friend” for nothin’.


The two states with the highest dropout rates for high schoolers? The Silver State and the Great White North. Following close behind…Mississippi, Alabama, Texas and the rest of the bass-ackward deep south. No more wondering how the hell those guys can vote Republican time and time again -- no brain pans.


Foreclosures in the 775 jumped 46% in August. People are losing their homes at an astounding rate. Hmmm…and who’s been in charge the last eight years? Tighty-righty.


It looks like the FDA has approved an “anti-nausea patch” to help people undergoing chemo. Waste. Of. Time. We already have the best nausea-killer in the world growin’ naturally. It’s called the Kind. Wanna know why ganja is illegal and the new FDA patch isn’t? ‘Cause with the chronic, Cheech and Chong get the cash with the new patch…Big Pharma gets the loot. Guess who the government-cheese is gonna side with on that one?


And finally…


Yesterday, The Invisible Man in the Sky’s Right Hand Man here on Earth said that people must accept death at “The hour chosen by God.” Screw that bub. That’s why they have Sudafed, NyQuil, Bayer Aspirin and Band Aids. If the Big Guy gets to decide…why the hell do we have House and Hawkeye and Marcus Welby? No, we will not go quietly in to that good night. Y’all gonna have to take us outta here kickin’ and screamin’. So, when You’re ready, You’d better call Your bouncers ‘cause we’re not gonna go there without a fight.


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Say it Ain't So Mo!

Did we read this right? The Mo was trippin’ when the “Invisible Man in the Sky” gave him the "Double High Five"? Brilliant!


People have been doin’ drugs to get mind-expansion since the first caveman licked a toad’s butt and started hallucinating.


If you’re on hallucinogenic drugs, are you really seeing God? Does God look like Jimi Hendrix? Cheech and Chong? How did you get rid of the munchies back in the B.C.? Where were the cops? Did they let Moses slide ‘cause he was a big wig? Can you see the look on Moses’ face the next day when he rolled into work and they told him he had to pee in a bottle?


That’s the crux of our biscuit though…If you need drugs to get closer to your “God” then your God might just as well be Timothy Leary!


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