Brown Out

Why is everyone skidmarking their Underoos over illegal immigration? SHEESH! The way people complain, you’d think someone dropped a mard in their Cocoa Puffs. The crux of our biscuit today is that we think the whole thing is racistm. Don’t believe us?



Notice how every time the ICE guys make a bust, the folks getting’ popped are from Central and South America? Every single one of ‘em. And all of ‘em have brown skin. All of ‘em.



Have you ever seen whitey get busted for bein’ an illegal? No. Does that mean no one from Canada or Great Britain or France or Germany ever skipped across the border illegally? No. It just means that the ICE-stapo have a much easier time bustin’ someone that isn’t a cracker.



Speaking of whitey…notice how the fence on the U.S. border is on our southern border and not on our northern border. Aye Caramba! Realize this huckleberries…the last time someone wanted to give us the terrorist fist-bump, they came in from the Canadian border…not the Mexican border. Way to “Protect and Serve” douchebags.



How come every time the ICEmen cometh, the brown-skinded brothers and sisters they bust are all at work? JZeus-friggin-Christo. And it’s not like they take jobs from regular Americans. Ever work in a fast food restaurant? BLECH! The place is hot and sweaty, it smells, you earn very little money and even less respect. You wanna go work there? We didn’t think so.



What we’re trying to say here is that y’all seem a bit paranoid about illegal immigration but you only spout about the illegals that aren’t white. Got a news flash for the rednecks out there...you think you hate illegal immigrants? Ask a REAL American what they think about the Irish and the Italians and the Brits and the Slavs. They’d say “Go back to your own country you friggin’ crackers!” After all…they lived here with the Mexicans long before whitey took over. How’d that work out?



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Seven Years of Darkness

Seven years…it’s been seven years since OBL and his minions took a bite outta the Big Apple. If you were on Planet E at the time, you know exactly where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news and if you’re anything like us…you wanted vengeance. What we got were damned lies, band-aids and flag pins.


Seven years, thousands of military casualties, hundreds of thousands of civilians dead, billions of dollars…wasted.


In seven years, we haven’t brought one single terrorist to justice.


In seven years, we're still not even close to catching OBL.


In seven years, the ports and borders are still unprotected from another terrorist attack.


In seven years, the best idea they could come up with on airport security was to confiscate shampoo bottles and cigarette lighters.


In seven years we’ve gone from being the shining beacon of freedom in the world to become a terrorist state in our own right…torturing, killing, lying.


In seven years, the Bush-Wipes broke the army, bankrupted the treasury, nearly wiped out the middle class, started spying on American citizens, all while looking us straight in the face and telling us what a good job they’ve been doing. POPPYCOCK.


Somewhere on the Pakistan/Afghanistan border OBL is kickin’ back in his cave, watchin’ Al Jazeera on his 52” flat-screen, sippin’ on a forty and smilin’ that smile of his. He knows he kicked our asses. Nineteen guys with boxcutters brought down the most powerful nation in the world…all with a little help from pResident George W. Bush and his ilk.



In seven years WPE has done nothing to keep us safe, he’s done nothing to prevent the next attack, he’s done nothing but try to scare the bejeezus out of us in an attempt to keep his party in power. Seven dark years of GWB in office seems like forever and it can’t get over soon enough for us. We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again. Worst. President. Ever.


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Monday Meanderings

The Monday after a holiday is the hardest day of the year to go to work. Alcohol. tobacco and barbeque sauce still on your breath (and fingers). The sweet smell of burned sulphur in your nose and the sight of the rockets red glare etched on to the back of your retinas. Yup, the Monday after a holiday is a tough one so we’re gonna go light and do a couple of hit-and-runs.





No end in sight for the salmonella outbreak. The FDA continues to investigate but they’re as clueless as a bag of doorknobs. Can you say Keystone Cops? Funny, notice how all the ingredients suspected in this whole circle-puke are in Mexican food? Tomatoes, cilantro, jalapeños. SHEESH! Like our brown-skinded brothers from Mexico need more shit from the tighty-righties. Guess that asinine immigration wall is working out just the way the government-cheese wants it to.





Seems old, infirm and sickly prisoners in Cali are puttin’ a crimp in the state budget. No shit. Problem is, the United States has more people in prison than friggin’ CHINA! WTF is up with that? Oh yeah. If you’re Mexican or brown-skinded or you put drugs in your system not okayed by the feds you’re livin’ in the gray bar motel long time. If you’re a white, bourgie, celebrity type you get let off the hook. You think if Tatum O’Neil was you or me she’d have gotten off like she did? No. If it were you and me, we’d be languishing in Gitmo. Guaranteed.





So, the University of Nevada has run up a tab for outside legal fees to the tune of 1.7 million dollars. Huh? UNR is cutting programs like they’re overgrown toenails. They’re cranking up student tuition and fees and then they run up a bill like this. Someone’s Wolf Pack head should be on a platter over this cluster-fuck. BTW…if the football team routinely loses two million dollars a year, why not cut THAT waste of money? It’s not like anyone goes to football games anyway. Besides, UNR’s stance is that football can, eventually, increase revenues. Right. By beating the snot out of Sacramento State? By playing nowhere in a nothing bowl the day after Thanksgiving? Hey Glickety-Split…just ‘cause the Little General can kick your ass doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider cutting him loose. After all, you’ve fired coaches with much better teams and much better records.





And finally…according to the AP, pools and parks are starting to open in Baghdad. Great. Brings new meaning to the ol’ CANNONBALL! Oh yeah…in this picture…the lifeguard at the pool is fully dressed in COMBAT GEAR! How’s he gonna jump in and save anyone with all that Kevlar on? He’d sink right to the bottom. Better than getting IED’d but its STILL the Suck.




(8.-)