Thanks Mom!

In light of Benazir Bhutto getting waxed we here at PTB have a question…who wins? Actually, it’s a rhetorical question ‘cause we already know the answer(s).


The Terrorists…One high-profile offing a year and these BSC freaks make the front page. They’re like the streaker at a football game. Back in the day, networks would show the crazies running on to the field. When copycats sprung up all over the place, networks stopped showing the offenders and the practice all but stopped. The terrorists know that one big bang and they’re front page news again.


Pervez Musharraf…The Perv got a huge break. With no real opposition leader to challenge his hand-picked successor, it’ll be business as usual for the little dictator. Business you say? Since 9/11 Pakistan has received more than FIFTY BILLION dollars from the U.S. to fight terrorists. How are they doing? Well OBL is still on the lamb, bad guys routinely get into Afghanistan through Pakistan’s porous borders and democracy in the country has all but been dismantled. Nice friends huh?


The Republican Party…The party of fear, the party of hate, the party of war. Yup, the right-wing was creamin’ their proverbial jeans when they heard the news. Why? Think about it. Every time something blows up, the ‘publicans hit the panic button. “BOOGIEBOOGIEBOOGIE…The bad guys are coming for us next… BOOGIEBOOGIEBOOGIE!!!” If the American people weren’t such pussies, that crap wouldn’t work. Alas, it works WAY too well.


War Profiteers…Halliburton, KBR and the rest of their ilk didn’t see or hear explosions. They saw dollar signs and heard the Cha-CHING of coinage hitting their collective pockets. You can’t sell the government-cheese hundreds of new Humvees ‘til the old ones get blown up, you can’t push through illegal surveillance systems unless Congress wimps out but you CAN rape and pillage and murder just as long as the crimes are perped on alleged terrorists.



Who Loses?

Freedom-loving Pakistanis and Americans. Remember…the government has to curb your civil-liberties to give the illusion it’s doing something about the problem. In doing so…they just make the problem worse.


The biggest loser by far though, is Bilawal Bhutto, Benazir’s son. He’s been tapped to take his mom’s place leading the Pakistan People’s Party. YIKES! You’d think he’d rather have inherited money or something. "My mother always said democracy is the best revenge," he is quoted as saying. Ummmm...not in your neck of the woods sonny. According to your country’s recent (and not so recent) history…revenge is a four letter word…BOOM!


(8.-)

Another One Bites The Dust

We love the girls here at PTB. We're of the opinion that if more of them were movers and shakers, we wouldn't be in the shit-storm we're in.


Now comes the news that Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan got capped today. Isn't it funny how the good get got early and the asses just keep getting bigger?



Well...here's to you B.B. May your 72 virgins keep you happy and may the perps of this heinousity rot in their own special hell.



Bhutto was our hope.

Islam…religion of peace?

Not if you’re a girl.


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The Day After...

For those of you, like us, having to go back to work today...we've got a special treat. Consider it a belated Christmas present.

It's a game. Everyone likes games...right? Well...here it is. Undoubtedly, you've used the search engine Google to look up all sorts of minutae. Heck, you might have even Googled yourself (just to see what was out there). This game is called "Google Lowball." The object of the game is to Google two words (no proper names) to see how few search results you get.

Example: Alabaster Porcupine got 13,100 hits...Sinister Vacuum got 168,000...Hell, Intelligent Bush got 1,860 hits...SHEESH! We haven't found too many searches with fewer than a thousand hits...if you do, consider yourself lucky. If you don't, no worries...you've got lots of time in the next few days to practice.

Good luck!

(8.-)

Happy B-Day JayZoos!

The Sound of Music

If there has ever been a bigger traveshamockery in the history of music, we've never heard of it. Last week the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame announced its newest inductees. On the list: Madonna, John Mellencamp, the Ventures and the Dave Clark Five. WTF is THAT all about?

Madonna is a pop singer...no different than Bobby Sherman or Keith Partridge or the Banana Splits.

Every song "JCougarM" ever did sounds EXACTLY like every other song he's ever done.

The Ventures? One hit...the theme from Hawaii Five-O. Hell, they didn't even have a vocalist!!! The Dave Clark Five? They've got a couple of good songs...but there's no way they're Hall-worthy.

Which brings us to the crux of this biscuit...why is the Hall dissing Rush? Rush has been awarded several Juno Awards and was inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame in 1994. Over the course of their thirty plus year career, the individual members of Rush have been recognized as some of the most proficient players on their respective instruments with each member winning several awards in magazine readers' polls. As a whole, Rush boasts 24 gold records and 14 platinum (3 multi-platinum) records. These statistics place Rush fifth behind The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Kiss and Aerosmith for the most consecutive gold and platinum albums by a rock band. If those stats don't get you in...who do you have to blow?!?

So, to R&RHoF President Joel Peresman...if you ain't got Rush in your Hall...it's just an empty building.

Sun-kissed

Every year BSC's from all over the world flock to the Black Rock Desert for a little somethin' they call "Burning Man."


And every year, the negative nellies decry the drugs, the debauchery and the dirty dancin' perpetrated by those heathens.


Not any more.


Black Rock Solar…a Burning Man-supported non-profit, has installed a 90-kilowatt array in Gerlach that should provide as much as $20,000 a year in free power to the elementary, junior high and high schools.


How much did Black Rock Solar charge Gerlach? Not. One. Penny. They did the same thing a while back for the hospital in Lovelock. FREE.


Say what you will of the Burning Man crowd…just don’t say they never gave you anything. That is, unless that burning, itching, scabby rash is still infesting your nether-regions. We TOLD you to use protection!


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Bowling For Dollars

In the heady days of yester-yore, Nevada football was king. Saturday afternoons filled with beer and girls and W’s. Late autumn cornucopias filled with conference championships, playoff intensity and more beer. The “Biggest Little City” boasted the bestest little football team in the country and kicked some 1-AA buttocks.





Then the “Little General” got a swollen ego and decided to play with the big boys. Gone were the championships, gone were the playoffs, gone were the W’s…replaced only by a budget that resembles the GDP of a medium-sized South American country and bottom-of-the-barrel bowl games. The Las Vegas Bowl? The Hawaii Bowl? The MPC Bowl? The New Mexico Bowl? SHEESH!





With all that money spent improving athletic facilities, you’d think the Wolf Pack could replicate the successes of rivals like Fresno State, Hawaii and Boise State. Not so. While the big three of the WACked Conference regularly party at upper-tier bowls, Nevada's Wolf Pack brings new meaning to the term "mediocrity." We'd rather be big fishes in a small pond rather than sleeping with the fishes in the big one.





(8.-)

It's Like Finding A Needle In An Ass Crack

Well the Mitchell Report is out and so are eighty-something rat bastards. We’ve said it before here at PTB…we’re not against drugs…


We’re against hypocrisy.


We’re against cheaters.


We’re against liars.


The really sad part about this clusterfuck is that the Mitchell Report only investigated steroid related stuff…not amphetamines. Athletes in all sports pop dexies and cross tops and rippers like they were M&M’s and no one gives a shit.


But if you have the ganja in your system…you get busted. Think a rasta buzz is “performance enhancing?” No. Think those in charge care? No again.


(8.-)

Don't Touch That Dial!

Here at PTB sport is an important part of our lives. We're of the thought that if countries could sort out their differences on the fields of play rather than the fields of battle, we'd all be better off. Yeah...yeah...we know we're naive but we'd pay big bucks to see the Bush-Wipe fight Ahmadinejad in a no-holds-barred cage match. Wouldn't THAT be fun?

That being said...we're gonna put war and politics and famine and death and gay republicans and the deficit and chimp-dick and the invisible man in the sky on hold for a couple of posts and turn our attention to the wonderful world of sports.

PLAY BALL!

(8.-)

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition

A couple of questions about the BSC Colorado church shooter…

How bad do you have to fuck up to get kicked out of missionary school?

Was the dude secretly a Muslim?

Did he make fun of the Pope’s shoes?

Did he vote for a Democrat?

We thought the God-squad was all about loving thy neighbor and doing unto others and turning the other cheek.

Guess not.

WTF kind of churches employ ARMED FRIGGIN’ GUARDS?!? Is the collection plate that full on Sundays or maybe y’all fear retribution from someone who got molested/ripped-off or otherwise screwed by the church?

Then there’s THIS total piece of crap. It says that if your parents are religious, you’ll likely be a well-adjusted, well-behaved kid. Check it...BSC was homeschooled by devoutly religious parents.

Jesus must be spinning in his grave.

(8.-)

Weird Science

A Christian biologist is suing the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution in Massachusetts, claiming he was fired because he would not accept evolution as scientific fact.

Question: WTF university did this doofus graduate from?

He said this condition was never spelled out in the ad for the job and that his canning led to severe economic losses, an injured reputation, emotional pain and suffering and mental anguish.

Check it Natty...a scientist that doesn't believe in evolution HAS no reputation to injure...your emotional pain and suffering can be treated by a little chat with the invisible man in the sky...and by not believing in evolution, your mental anguish is as miniscule as your brain!

As far as economic losses are concerned...no worries...Natty got a job teaching biology at Liberty University, the school founded by the Rev. Jerry Falwell.

If that doesn't say it all...nothing does!

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War is Hell...Just Ask A Veteran

“War…” a man once asked rhetorically.

“What is it good for?”

“Absolutely nothing.” he said, correctly answering his own question.

2,333 souls perished and 1,139 were wounded at Pearl Harbor 66 years ago, sparking America's entrance into WWII.


Today, the Japanese and the Germans and the Italians are some of our closest, bestest friends in the whole wide-world!


Let us all hope it won't take 66 years to win the hearts and minds of our Muslim brothers and sisters.


Chimp Dick likes to say that he's a "War President." We take that to mean he's a "President that's good for NOTHING!"


(8.-)

Fleecing the Flock

We're not big believers here at PTB.


We're of the opinion that religion kills.


But more and more the "Soul Patrol" is trying their damndest to get into our business.


Here's where the hypocrisy hits the road...


It seems that a goodly number of God-lies have been pimpin' their rides...makin' over the home front and living the vida loca...


The government-cheese doesn't think the dollars should be lining the pockets of these wannabe profits (pun intended).


Funny thing is, in Luke 18:24-25 (that's in the bible for all you heathens) the SOG was pretty clear on the matter.


Bundle up motherhubbards...it's colder than a blue nut where you're goin'!!!


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Friend or Foe?

Saudi Arabia...our closest allies in the Middle East.

Cuba…the enemy in our own back yard.

In Cuba…women can become doctors, lawyers and teachers.

In Saudi Arabia…women can’t drive, they’ve gotta be covered from head to toe and can’t get a job without permission from the alpha male of the family.

The Saudis are our BFF in the war against global extremism…and they just let 1,500 of the baddest of the bad guys out of jail if they “promised to behave.”

In Cuba…you can get the finest hand-rolled cigars and some of the best liquor in the world.


In Saudi Arabia…the morality police will hunt you down for smoking or drinking and if you’re a rape victim, you get 200 lashes and six months in jail…IF YOU’RE THE VICTIM!

Does anyone see the hypocrisy in this foreign policy or do Americans just not care? We think the latter.