If God Was On Our Side We'd Be Kicking Their Asses By Now!

What WOULD Jesus fly?

"Prince of Peace" indeed.

Guess he'll have to sortie a little bit longer now though...

When they tell you they support the troops call them LIARS!!!

(8.-)

Kill 'Em All...Let (Their) God Sort 'Em Out

Nine...count 'em nine.

Enough for an entire team.

Accidents happen...yeah right. This isn't the war on terror!

If we fight them there, we won't have to fight 'em here. If we kill 'em there, you can be sure we've made martyrs of them and made terrorists out of their kinfolk.

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This Is Your War...This Is Your War On Drugs...

This is why we do not now, nor ever will, trust the government cheese. It's bad enough we've got brothers and sisters in harm's way for NOTHING! Now it seems that some douchebag in the DC wants our military to fight flowers!!! Every second we're in the AFG, we're making enemies. Every second we're in the AFG, we're screwing over our military men & women. When they tell you they support our troops...call 'em LIARS!

Get Along Lil' Dogie...

One of PTB's all-time faves here in the 775 is the Reno Rodeo. It's hard to explain but nothing is quite as exciting as seeing some huckleberry get his head stomped by a raging bull. We gotta admit though...you've gotta have great athletic ability and a HUGE pair of iron balls to get out there on a 2,000lb. steak with bad intentions. Just remember ladies...the bigger the buckle...the smaller the...well, you know.

(8.-)

You Wanna Call it WHAT???

If Scheels Sporting Goods succeeds in getting their name on Sparks Boulevard, we here at PTB can see good things coming from this.

We could make money by renaming all of our streets.


Our first choice, of course, is changing the name of Mill Street to Mills Lane.


BTW, it sure is nice to see Mills back in town. HUZZAH to you brother. We miss you!

(8.-)

Betsy Ross Was A MILF!!!

We always get excited on Flag Day here at PTB. After all, the flag is the symbol of everything America stands for. Lately though, the Stars and Bars have become a little less popular with our brown-skinned brothers and sisters. Let's just hope we can rekindle a little love for the red, white and blue. We certainly could use it.

(8.-)

House Hunting

Some here in the 775 are predicting a recession because of the downturn in people buying houses and the shit the subprime lenders have gotten themselves (and us) into. But the slowdown in the housing market mostly affects those in the real estate business. The crisis with subprime lenders affects those who took out loans to buy a house and now can’t afford the payments. But the only think that’ll affect Reno’s economy is our ability to lure people to the area who think slot machine and excitement belong in the same sentence.

(8.-)

Luuuuke....Use The Force

WOO HOO!!! We don't get many blue-chippers here in the 775 and when we do, it's almost impossible to keep 'em. Not this time. Studlier-than-thou power forward Luke Babbitt nixed his verbal to OSU and decided to play for the Silver and Blue. Don't think it's important? Don't really care? Check this...with Cool Hand Luke plying his trade at THE U of N...you can add a couple o' million more dollars flowin' into campus coffers and maybe even a couple of more NCAA Tournament wins. Major coup for Fox & Friends. Huzzah...it's a great day to be among the Wolf Pack faithful!

(8.-)

Drowning on Dry Land

Anytime you hear the words "new government entity" know that your tax dollars are likely being flushed down the toilet.

The newest waste...the "Western Regional Water Commission." They're tasked with managing our water supplies and search for new sources. Hey dumbasses...here's a newsflash -- manage the growth of the state's population and you won't NEED to find more water. Or is that just too simple of an answer for the government cheese?

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Doctor...Doctor...Gimme the News...

So...the Silver State's sawbones rank in the bottom ten in the country. We say...so what.


If you did your job and had only 1.68 mistakes per 1,000 tasks...that'd be a pretty good average.


Remember...America has some of the best doctors and hospitals in the world. That is...unless you're one of these guys.


(8.-)

The Longest Day

Sixty-three years ago today, a lot of good people took a lot of bad shit to rid the world of one screwed-up individual and his lunatic followers. Thanks boys...you help us remember that America wasn't always the most hated nation in the world.

(8.-(

We Don't Need No Edu-ma-cation

ALLRIGHT, school is out here in the 775!

A couple of things to remember kiddies...

Don't let your friends and family get too happy at graduation...

Sell your soul now so you can afford college...

and

If you need a job...here ya go.

Welcome to the real world.

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From the Department of Bureaucracy Division - Crony Department

Again, the government cheese getting bigger 'cause they can't do all that work by their little lonesomes.

The Western Regional Water Commission won't have authority to acquire water, raise rates, or incur debt. Well, at least, the "can't raise rates" and the "can't incur debt" parts are right on.

The agency will have the ability to create region-wide plans for the use, management and conservation of water. Ummm...shouldn't we already have someone to do that?

Meanwhile, at the last minute, Lawmakers gave pay raises to school board members in Washoe and Clark counties. Board members were making $480 per month and now they get $2,000 per month. That's a 300% increase. No wonder the state doesn't have the money for things like transportation, education and meth addiction...they're spending all your tax money giving raises to their buddies. SHEESH!

(8.-)

Spreading Democracy Throughout the World

Eighteen years ago today, in what became known as the Tiananmen Square massacre, hundreds of pro-democracy students were reported killed and thousands wounded as Chinese troops swept demonstrators from the square in Beijing.

Today, China is one of our biggest trading partners.

When the government cheese tells you they're "spreading democracy," tell them they're liars!

(8.-)

It's Good to Be the King

If you're a dedicated public servant, striving to do the most good for those who put you in office…

why would you embarrass the state with this?

C’mon Mr. Governor…you can do better.

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Stealing Candy from YOU Baby...

High barrier markets are just what they imply. If you wanna put your business here...there's gotta be something in it for everyone. It's development paying for itself.

Now here comes Kimco and whadda you think they're famous for building? The lowest of the low barrier classifications.

Well...your kids won't get the economic tax benefit of having a high-tech operation goin' up in the 'hood...

But on the flip side...they can get dollar menu fries 24/7/365

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The Best Laid Plans of Mice...

Yep...they're keeping us safe.

WTF???

If they can't keep the plans to the friggin BAGHDAD EMBASSY from making it to Cyberia...do you really feel safe with them in charge of security in America?

Oh yeah...

Now the motherhubbards are talking about staying in Iraq for the next HALF CENTURY.

Hello...is there anybody IN there?

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Dead Poet's Society

The Gaz tells us that the biggest concerns for residents in northern Nevada are traffic, growth and water.

Ever the opportunists, we here at PTB offer a little 575 for the 775...

City Council votes
Put up another strip mall
wilderness no more.

The Mapes got blown up
Cinderblocks and memories
are all that are left.

Bumper to bumper
If you build it they will come
Drink the desert dry.

We used to be the
biggest of little cities
now we're just Fresno.



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If He Marries His Sister's Daughter, Will the Kids Call Him Uncle Dad?

See this pink-assed cracker? ---->

His name is Robert Zoellick. The President just named him to head-up the World Bank.

What's the problem you ask?

Zoellick is replacing Paul Wolfowitz. Remember the Wolfster? He was the chief architect of the war in Iraq.

Wolfie did such a cracker jack job with the war that he got himself a promotion to the top gig at the WB.

Wolf-gag promptly gave his uber-manly girlfriend a raise and a promotion which led to his can getting canned.

So now the prez is picking ZoZo for the gig.

His qualifications? He was a consultant to ENRON!!!

Remember those rat bastards? It seems the crappier you do your job, the more likely it is that the President will give you a promotion.

Just remember...the president is NOT in bed with big energy.

Yo Mr. Bush...all we do here at PTB is write a bit of a blog...got an opening at Homeland Security?

(8.-)

We Don't Need No Education...

Question to the more spiritualized among us…

Why was eating from the tree of “KNOWLEDGE” a bad thing?

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day (that is if he likes fish). Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life (unless he doesn’t like fish).

You’d think the “Greatest Country in the World” could afford gear for ALL students…not just the bourgie ones.

It doesn’t have to be top-of-the-line, brand-spankin’ new --insert designer label name of choice here -- stuff.

But Agnes Risley students are a shining example of what a little investment (grants, free software and unappreciated teachers), a little ingenuity and a lot of hard work can accomplish.

The Government Cheese always has money for pay raises...
and blowin’ people up…
maybe it’s time they handled our tax money a little wiser. Neh?

(8.-)

Why We Fight

Soldiers go to war because they're ordered to...

Politicians send soldiers to war because they, themselves, don't have to.

Here at PTB we love our men and women in uniform. We hope all of you to love 'em too. And so tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love 'em...

Lord knows, the politicians never have and never will...

...and when they say they do love the troops, tell them they're L I A R S!

As for the gang here at PTB...We just want our brothers and sisters home.

Godspeed

(8.-(

Why the Hell Would Gomer Leave Mayberry?

Here at PTB we feel that there is no higher calling than to serve one’s country. It seems though, that since WWII ended, we’ve been sending our kids to far away lands to die for nothing. Don’t believe us?

North Korea is still a threat…

Viet Nam is our friend now…

Grenada? Puh-Leese!

You saw for yourself what Gulf War #1 did…

And now these two POINTLESS wars.

If you volunteer for the service now…you’re asking for it.

(8.-(

Deadbeat Dad...Beat Dad Dead

So half the child support ordered in the 775 isn't paid. Who’s responsible for that?

Not me said the flea who used an STD

(Sudden Toddler Dissemination) Preventor.

In this country you need a license to

Fish…

Drive a car…

Own a business…

Get Married…

Hell…you even need a license to Ill.

But any motherhubbard with the right parts can poop out a baby with no requirements.

Listen up boys & girls...you birth it…you’re responsible for it.

(8.-)

If We Don't Fight 'Em Over There, We'll Have To Fight 'Em Over Here.

Here at PTB we have a soft spot in our hearts (and heads) for our Mormon brothers and sisters.

Hell, the 775 is home to quite a few LDSers.

But talk about a shitty break...some rat bastard went and named named these despicable creatures after 'em.

Can you imagine what a what a Catholic cricket would look like?

The Silver State's pestician may think 10-20 acres of the little bastards aren't a big deal...but just looking at ONE of them gives us the major willies.

At least we've got our own flock of seagulls. Remember it on election day!

(8.-)

Flags of Our Fathers

We here at PTB are proud flag wavers/burners. Both are great ways to show how much you love the good ol' U.S. of A.

But this "flap" (pun intended) about the humongous stars & bars flying over Hummers-R-Us down in the 702 has us cheesed off.

The Mayor wants a veterans' memorial at the site and the flag can stay. No memorial...no Oversized Old
Glory.

What? Like 'Vegas wasn't already gaudy?

Neighbors accuse the flag of keeping them awake at night.

Jeez...you'd think the gunfire and crack ho's would be AT LEAST as noisy.

We're just happy to read a story about erecting poles!

One final thought. Would a real patriot drive a hummer?

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