Yer Doin' A Heckuva Job Bushie!

How IS that war on terror going you ask?


Our bestest friends in the region just declared martial law and are arresting opposition leaders. They still haven’t found OBL -- who is IN THEIR COUNTRY! Nice.


Our allies are attacking the Kurds (you remember the Kurds…they were the ones WMD’ed by Saddam Hussein) and we’re letting ‘em do it. Sweet.


The Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines have lowered their standards so much that pResident Bush would qualify for service (if he wasn’t such a chickenshit, milquetoast coward). Amen.


2007 has now become the deadliest year for American soldiers in Iraq. Uh oh.


The Taliban and Al Qaeda are as nasty as ever in Afghanistan. Still?


Congress is close to confirming the next Attorney General. He thinks torture is O.K. Doh!


The spineless Democrats won’t bring our troops home ‘til 2013 and the Republicans aren’t EVER going to get our troops home. Sigh.


If this isn’t a clusterfuck, nothing is.


(8.-)

Zulu...Yankee...X-ray...Whiskey...Victor

If you’ve visited this part of Cyberia more than once, you know how much we hate the Government-Cheese. But we here at PTB love NASA. Heck, most of us wanted to be astronauts ‘til we found out you needed to know math and science and stuff like that. Hell, we just wanted to bang alien hotties and bang the heads of alien baddies. Oh well...


So, it turns out that NASA did a study looking at all the bad crap that happens and almost happens with the airline companies of the good ole USofA and they won’t tell us what they found. NASA says that if they release their findings it would, “…undermine public confidence in the airline industry or hurt the industry's profits.”


THIS is why we hate the Government-Cheese. NASA spent eight-and-a-half MILLION of OUR dollars to find out that airline service and safety in America is worse than that of Djibouti and they don’t want us to know ‘cause we’d quit flying and the airlines would lose money.


Guess what numbnuts…we’ve already quit flying. Why?

Off with yer shoes…
No lighters…
No Muslims…
No bomb jokes…
No shampoo bottles…
Drunk pilots…
Eight hour runway delays…
Never, Never, NEVER on time.


WTF do you think would happen if NASA did this with fast food chains? “We don’t want to tell you that we found butt hairs in the burgers and fingers in the chili ‘cause if we did you’d stop eating fast food and they’d lose money.” This is our government at work??? SHEESH!!!!




America...the greatest country in the world? Hardly.


(8.-)

We Ain't 'Fraid O' No Ghosts...

You wanna know what's REALLY scary???



BOO!!!



Happy Halloween Charlie Brown!!!


(8.-)

Happy Nevada Day!

We're proud as punch to be from the Silver State. No place better to live in the entire USofA.



We've got Ho's...you don't.



We've got games...you don't.




We've got the most beautiful lake in the world...and you don't.



And our skiing is WAY better than yours!



So enjoy Nevada Day today Silver-Staters...it could be worse...you could be livin' in Ala-fuckin-bama!!!







(8.-)

For It Is The Doom Of Men That They Forget

As long as there is a breath of life, PTB will NEVER forget our Korean "Police Action" brothers and sisters.





Do you all know who does forget the sacrafices of our brave brothers and sisters?





This guy.





And they're doing it all over again in 2007.




When they say they love America and they care about you...





they're LYING!!!


@:
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Burn Rubber

The Golden State is turning a crispy, golden brown.


Governor Steroid has declared a State of Emergency and the government is mobilizing everyone in an effort to help.


Quick question to the government-cheese out there (we’re talking to YOU cracker!)…


Are the quick actions to save lives and property ‘cause Malibu is bourgie white?


To put it another way…if all these flames were scorching the brown-skinded brothers and sisters down in the Big Easy…would you have been so quick to help?


We know the answer…it was a rhetorical question.


(8.-)

What Soccer Players Do At Work On Fridays

Here at PTB we love the "futball". So, to get y'all psyched for the weekend, we present our first-ever video. WARNING: Doing this at YOUR work could be hazardous to your future employment prospects. Have a great weekend!

(8.-)

Heller High Water

This is what really cheeses us off about CDH and his right-wingnuts...


They don't want to spend money insuring poor kids...


but they have all the money they need when it comes to blowing up our brown-skinded brothers and sisters.


Hell of a job Hellie! Your nose is so far up GWB's ass, when he farts your hair blows in the wind!


@:
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His Own Private IdaHo'

We've said it before, we'll say it again. Here at PTB we love our GLBT brothers and sisters.


So you just know we love Senator Larry (don't call me Jenny) Craig.


Well, great news! Senator PeterPuffer has just been elected into the Idaho "Stall"...er we mean "HALL of Fame."


Congratulations Senator Turd Blossom...you've joined luminaries such as:


Mr Potato Head...


That BSC dude from Ruby Ridge...


and a freak well-known here in the 775...Claude Dallas. HUZZAH to you, Senator Craig, your place in history is secure!


(8.-)

Off With His Head!!!

Not meaning to get depressing on y'all this morning but there's something we don't get.


This rat-bastard has ADMITTED and been proven guilty of a heinous crime.


The ACLU (good friends of PTB) got the BSC sonavabitch's execution stayed because lethal injection is "cruel and unusual punishment."


So we've gotta say it...electroded balls are C&UP...


waterboarding innocents is C&UP...


killing children and civilians is C&UP...


The prick beat an 86 year old woman to death with a TIRE IRON. THAT's C&UP.


An arm full of drugs isn't cruel OR unusual...it's called Saturday night at Courtney Love's house.



@:
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Childrens They Do Learn

Here at PTB we LOVE our brothers and sisters in uniform.


Alas, Bush-Wipe and his ilk (just like Der BSC and his Nazi buddies) have us in a helluva pickle.


People hate it when we compare all the pResident's men to the little dictator but check it:

They had stormtroopers...we have stormtroopers.


They had gulags...we have gulags.



They had two fronts...we have two fronts. Sound familiar?


Here's the problem. We need more troops than we have and the Government-Cheese's solution is to drop standards for recruits! Now they're letting in drug addicts and rapists and murderers and just plain dumbasses. It seems the only people the (h)Army doesn't want are the gays. You know, 'cause those gays are freakin' CRAZY!


(8.-)

God Said What?

Let's see if we can get this straight...


The MoSup of a bunch of Po' Nuns says she talks to the G-Man.


The Pope then tosses 'em out of the Church, cuts off their water and electricity and then has the cops perp-walk 'em out of their digs.


They get to come back into the church if they repent. We never knew that talking to the invisible being in the sky was a sin.


Guess it is now.


(8.-)

Who Would Jesus Nuke?

With all the crap we hear about terrorists using “dirty bombs” it was an ass-chapper to read that, back in the day, the good ole USofA was considering the same type of nefarious methodology.


You’d think that type of bullshit thinking would be long over. You’d have thought wrong. Ever heard of depleted uranium? It is some nasty shit and our very own U.S. Army is using it every day in Afghanistan and Iraq. Nice, huh?


We find it vomit-inducing when politicians claim the U.S. is a country founded on Christian values yet they heed little of what the SOG said.


The cradle of civilization will be radioactive for thousands of years and it's all our fault.


(8.-)

War-Torn

A member of the Iraqi Parliment gets caught hangin' with the bad guys...


while the Iraqi Government has to buy weapons from the Chinese because we don't have enough weapons to sell them ourselves.


Meanwhile, we're spending 700 BILLION dollars a year killing our brown-skinded brothers and sisters when we can least afford it.


They say they care about America. They say they care about you.
They don't. That is, unless you're Halliburton, KBR or Blackwater.


Jesus Must be spinning in His grave!


(8.-)

That Urine Isn't Mine Officer!!!

It sure sucks when someone you've admired for a long time turns out to be a fake.

Here at PTB we've got no problems with drugs.


You wanna sniff paint? That's O.K. by us.


You smoke hairs from a ho's ass crack? Go ahead.


But when you're doing drugs to get an edge on the competition...that's just wrong. A haiku to ease our pain:




Say it ain't so Joe!

Are you a juiced-up cheater?

The 775 mourns.

Beers To Your Health

We’re all news junkies here at PTB so imagine our delight when we opened the RGJ today and found this article.


Now, we really don’t care how our skin looks. After all, we’re bloggers…zits, blackheads, boils and dry patches are our constant companions. But if one of the “super foods” to help skin look its best is barley…we’re in.


You see, barley is the main ingredient in beer…worshiped here at PTB as the “Goddess of Life.” Now when we toss back a couple of brews we won’t only be feeling the buzz of the alcohol…we’ll be feeling the buzz to better skin!


Here’s to your health!


(8.-)

ICE Caramba!!!

Last week was a bad week to be a brown-skinded brother or sister here in the 775.


Isn't it weird that John Law busted a bunch of EMPLOYED Latinos working for the most successful BLACK businessman in the area?


If the Fuzz really wanted to bust up major employment for illegals...they would have busted the casino or the construction industries. Problem is...they're all owned by Crackers.


(8.-)

An Army Of nOne

We don’t have enough troops in Afghanistan…


We don’t have enough troops in Iraq…


We don’t have enough money for either…


Hell, we don’t even have enough money to keep the government going.


Now they're blathering on about starting a war with Iran.


So when they tell you they care about you,


when they tell you they love America…THEY’RE LYING!


(8.-)

Friends In Low Places

Every time pResident Evil opens his pie hole the stench of his blather has us doing the Technicolor yawn. Yesterday Bush-2.0 was at the U.N. and he insisted that the world body "spread democracy" and referred to Fidel Castro as "a cruel dictator" The Cuban delegation promptly gave him the old ass-crack bye-bye salute and stormed out of the room. Good for them. What the hell does "GEE DUmB" know about democracy and freedom?



These guys are his friends...



These guys are his bestest buddies...



He's even friends with these rat-bastards.



We've told you once, we've told you a thousand times...The only thing that makes a country "evil" is if American businesses can't make money there.


(8.-)

Proud To Be A 'Merican?

Black is beautiful.

Don't sit under the whites tree.

Not in the Bayou.



Crackers in Jena

don't like you if you're colored.

They’re redneck morons.



In America

can a brother get a break?

No…too much hate here.




@:
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If It's Too Loud...You're Not Deaf Yet!

Another weekend, another festival here in the 775. This time it's Street Vibrations.


Every year the hogs, their riders and the men and women who love them descend on us like Mormon Crickets on a corn stalk...and every year the blue-plated blue hairs bitch and moan and complain about the noise.


Look, Street Vibrations brings a lot of money (and visitors) to the 775. If you don't like the noise, may we suggest you go visit the grandkids this weekend.


If you're staying, loosen up and have fun. After all, that's why we live here in the 775!


(8.-)

Recipie For Disaster

Wanna know how to make an anti-American-freedom-hating future terrorist?




It's EASY!!!




Just send a bunch of North Carolina rednecks into Iraq and let them kill whomever they want.




That's why they hate us.




Not our freedom...




Not our music...




No...they hate us because we're in their country killing civilians and every time we do...we make terrorists out of those who survive. We will be paying for this war for a VERY long time!!!


When they say they support our troops and they love America...THEY'RE LYING!!!!


@:
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Where In The Hell Is Carmen San Diego?

So, little Johnny can't tell the difference between Djibouti and a dipstick.


No child left behind...yeah right.


It's been happening for a long time now -- American kids getting fat, lazy and dumb.


We put the blame right where it belongs...with mummy and daddy. Looking at the parenting skills Americans show on a daily basis, it's no wonder we're getting our asses kicked in everything from algebra to zoology. America, the greatest country in the world? Hardly.


@:
:@

Baby You Can Drive My Car

Women want to drive in Sand-Diego?


INFIDELS!!!


While the Bush-Wipe is sucking commie ball-sack...


and his skronk is bawlin 'bout Burma...


This is how are allies behave.


If you let Muslim women drive cars...next thing you know they're wanting to cure cancer, solve global warming or bring about world peace.


At least Saudi women drive better than their male counterparts!


(8.-)

How Dumb do the Traitors Think We Are?

We'd been waiting all week to hear what GDP had to say. He lied. The Iraqi insurgents are beating on us like we stole something.


We watched last night as President Dumb-Ass went through the same half-truths and misconceptions that got us into this clusterfuck.


Let's clear up a few things...


Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.


The violence in Iraq is NOT subsiding.


And 37 countries may be in the "Coalition of the Willing" but SHEESH...Moldova? The only thing we're doing in Iraq is making more martyrs to come after us.


It took the Idiot-In-Chief sixteen minutes of his speech before he mentioned Afghanistan...you remember Afghanistan right? It's where OBL is hiding.


Speaking of the devil...hey Bush-Wipes...How is the hunt for the 9/11 mastermind going? Not too good we'll wager.


The Iraqis are kicking our ass the same way we kicked British Butt in 1776...


The same way the Viet-Nam-Ese handed us our hats in 1969...


The same way the Afghans put boot to butt on the Russians.


Any way you look at it...we're toast!


When they tell you they care about America...they're LYING!!!


(8.-)