Space Bar

Shooting Blanks

Back in the day, the “King of All Righties,” Ronald Reagan, was hell-bent on building a missile defense system. The media dubbed it “Star Wars.” It was a quick and easy way for Uncle Ronnie to line the pockets of his defense contractor buddies. It was the expansion of the military/industrial complex, just like Ike said.

Fast forward to earlier this year. Tighty-righties, intent on undercutting anything the ‘Bamer suggested, were skidmarking their Underoos because President Barry-O wanted to scrap Bush-era plans for the same type of MDS. “He’s soft on National Security,” they screamed. “He’ll get us all killed,” they blathered. Turns out…as usual…the right-wing nut cases were wrong.

Earlier this week, the Russkies test launched a new, long-range missile – just the type of weapon Star Wars and its descendents were supposed to protect us from. You wanna know what happened? POOF! For the seventh time in twelve tries, the Red Enemy failed to get their missile to work right. That’s less than a fifty percent success rate.

Now, you won’t hear any mea culpas from the boogity boogity crowd. That’s not how they roll. But remember this…the Republicans will do anything to get reelected. They’ll make up facts and twist words and pervert ideas and try to scare the bejeezus outta people all for their own electoral gain. that's how they roll. It worked for a while but Americans are wising up to that charade. Here’s hoping that in the 2010 and 2012 election cycles, those tactics work just as well as the new Russian missles. Then, the only defense system we’ll need is the vote.

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It Could Be Worse

Just Desserts

What a Family Eats in a Week

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Daddy's War Bucks

Ya know, I get a lot of flak from the “tinfoil hat” crowd over their assertions that I have a bromance with the ‘Bamer. Heck-fire, it’s kinda funny considering I’ve never been a fan of no man. But they’ve got to understand that after the eight years we had of Chimp Dick and Dr. Evil, anyone woulda been better. That said, Barry-O has been pissing in my Corn Flakes lately.



When Prezzy B. was running for office, he promised to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He promptly did the douchebag move and forgot about getting out of Iraq. And now, he’s considering escalating in Afghanistan. He says he wants the U.S. to stay ‘til the job is done. Aye caramba! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Afghanistan is where empires go to die. And we’re gonna be there ‘til America, as a country, isn’t any better than Finland (apologies to my Finnish brotherhubbards). Yo Barry-O, you wanna get the job done? How ‘bout spending some of that free money on creating jobs here at home and less money on making new terrorists?



The other thing that’s cheesing me off about Chocolate JZeus, is his reticence on healthcare reform. Look, y’all aren’t gonna get one vote from the tighty-righties, so why not “pull a Bush” on ‘em and ram the motherhubbard down their throats anyway? I know, I know, you’re gonna get republicans sayin’ we can’t afford it and that they don’t want a government-cheese bureaucrat making people’s health decisions. Question:



Why is it that we have unlimited trillions of dollars to blow up brown-skinded brothers in far away lands but we don’t have enough money to help our own poor, sick and dying? Next time I hear a politician waxing poetic about America being a “Christian nation,” I’m gonna break my foot off in his John Brown hindpot. True dat.



And last question: Yo republicans! Y’all say you are against bureaucrats meddling in a person’s medical choices. So how come y’all keep sticking your anglo-bourgie cracker noses into a woman’s lawful right to choose? Hypocrites.



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Separation of Church and State

Lazing into the Weekend

I surely do love me the music that specifically mentions the 775. In this case...Tonopah, Nevada. GO MUCKERS!


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Right Wing Wussies

Put a Sock on it

With God on Our Side

Bow Wow

Over the weekend, Chocolate Elvis met with the Emperor of Japan. In typical Japanese tradition, the ‘Bamer bowed during the greeting. Wanna know what happened next? The lunatic fringe skidmarked their collective Underoos. Don’t believe me? This from tighty-righty Bill (no not that Bill) Kristol:


“I don't know why President Obama thought that was appropriate. Maybe he thought it would play well in Japan. But it's not appropriate for an American president to bow to a foreign one." He added that the gesture bespoke a United States that has become weak under Obama. "I'll bet if you look at pictures of world leaders over 20 years meeting the emperor in Japan, they don't bow," Kristol said.


O.K. Bill...I’ll give you that one but I do have a question. Was Chimp-Dick sucking face and holding hands with the Saudi King O.K. with you? What about when the Bush-Wipe appeared with the leader of Vietnam, our sworn enemy? SHEESH! Here’s the crux of today’s biscuit…


No matter what President Barack Hussein Obama does, the tighty-righties are gonna hate it. If Obama wanted a sandwich for lunch, the Republicans would want to rename peanut butter "Freedom Butter.” True dat. No worries, though. The right-wing nut cases are throwing everything against the wall to see what sticks. But the way they’re behaving as the “Party of No," everything that sticks is on their faces.


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Repeating History

Happy Veteran's Day

Here's one for all who serve our country. Sorry that you have to be in the Suck. Just remember, the 'Bamer promised to get y'all the hell outta there. We're still waiting mister President.

Another Prick With a Wall

Hurry Up and Wait

Gaming the System

This is a picture of the rich, white, tighty-righties who are gonna be rollin' in the dough now that Ohio has legalized gaming. I can just see it now...

"Cincinnati, America's Adventure Place." Aye Caramba!


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My Alibi

Ronald Reagan was just a Hollywood Elitist douchebag with no clue about how the world worked.
The only difference between Uncle Ronnie and Dr. Evil? The chimps they worked with. The similarity? They both lied.

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Good Zolly Miss Molly

The coolest thing I've learned from working in television all these years, is the name of this camera move. It is a combination zoom/dolly shot. And they call it...a Zolly. Go figure. Whatever they call it, it surely does scare the bejeezus outta folks. Happy Halloween!


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Mash Up

After watching all these black and white clips, it makes you wonder how anyone got scared back in the day. SHEESH! Not one clip of Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. Now that woulda been scary!

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The Thriller's Gone

Most people agree that Michael Jackson's Thriller is the scariest music video ever made. Actually, anything featuring the 'white" Michael Jackson has got to be up there as well. So...if that's the case...this video is scarier than the nude John Ensign picture I've got hangin' on my wall. Aye caramba! Now, that's scary!


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Scare Tactics

Well the holiday is almost here. No, not Nevada Day...Halloween! And if the Republicans' stance on healthcare hasn't scared the bejeezus outta you, maybe this video will. Boogityboogityboogity!


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Ute? Uhhh...What's A Ute?

Nothing Beats a Dick

Every time Dr. Evil opens his lie-hole I wanna puke. Yo Dick...you've done enough already. Thanks a lot. But you've got no more juice pachuco! Take your non-lesbian daughter and crawl back into that black, warmongering, paranoid hole you crawled out of. Americans aren't buying your bullshit anymore. Well...maybe Faux News is...but we're not. True dat.

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Why I Love the Ladies

The coolest part about being enamored with the women is that I get to listen to/watch ass-kickin' music like this. If Rose Royce singin' I Wanna Get Next to You doesn't put you in the mood, nothing will. True dat. So, hit the play button, grab your honey and get to snugglin'. It surely beats the alternative.