No Guv Love

Well, he’s doin’ it. Governor Jim “I Did Not Text That Woman” Gibbons has decided to go for it and sue the Feds over the new healthcare bill. GJG says the bill is unconstitutional. I know what you’re saying…”Jim Gibbons has read the Constitution?” Probably not…but he’s goin’ through with it anyway. This, even after Nevada Attorney General Catherine Cortez-Masto said she wouldn’t file suit. Here’s my problem with all this…

Since a lawsuit against the Feds won’t work, I figure Jimmy-Wiggles is just doin’ this to show off his Teabagger bona fides. After all, he’s running for reelection and he’s about as popular right now as redundant root canal surgery. That being said, he needs the Teabaggers a lot more than they need him. But what really chaps my ass is the fact that he’s using State money to pursue a purely political venture that doesn’t help the state of Nevada in any way. Yo Guv…you’ve wasted three years of taxpayer money by taking a salary. When you were supposed to be workin’, you were letting your little head think for your big head. Now, in the middle of our state’s financial clusterfuck, you’re gonna spend our tax money on this boondoggle. Aye caramba! No worries Jim…you’ll be out on your ass soon enough. Problem is…today wouldn’t be soon enough. True dat!

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Happy Belated Re-Birthday JZeus!

Since this weekend was a high-holy weekend, I figured it was best to hold my blasphemy ‘til afterward. Just coverin’ my ass in case JZeus’ Dad was in a pissy mood. Anyway…

Looks like the Catholic Church is in the news again. Ah yes, the gift that keeps on giving! Critics of the Church are sayin’ that the Pope knew all about the past abuse of 2,000 deaf kids and was instrumental in covering it up. Critics want JoRatz’s head on a platter but the Church fired back. PoBen’s personal preacher said the attacks on the church were akin to the persecution of the Jews back in WWII. First thing that came to my mind was…The Pope has a personal preacher? Aye caramba! Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that JZeus’ emissary on earth needs his own preacher? Secondly…blaming the media for reporting this story is like blaming the sun for your sunburn. Hey guys…take some personal responsibility, will ya? Blaming the media just makes you sound like the Teabaggers.

And lastly…If the guy covering up all this sexual abuse had been a CEO of a company or some such thing, he’d have been perp-walked to the Gray Bar Motel faster than Jesse James droppin’ his pants at a tattoo parlor. But the Pontiff’s defenders say that he’s untouchable because he’s a head of state. Funny…I thought he was untouchable ‘cause he’s the SOG’s main rep. But here’s the crux of that biscuit. Saddam Hussein, Slobodan Milosevic and Adolph Hitler were all heads of state. Now y’all remember what we did to those rat-bastards. That’s right…we JFKed ‘em. Heck-fire…we went after Slick Willie for lying about a consensual hummer. So, if JoRatz is found to have been complicit in this heinous crime…he should be prosecuted. Problem is...I’m betting no one has the huevos rancheros to do it. I KNEW I should’ve gone to law school. If it wasn’t for all the reading and words and comprehension and stuff, I would have.

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God Squad

A couple of quick thoughts on the Hutaree militia…

These bass-ackward huckleberries claim that the United States has a tyrannical government they need to overthrow. Government is too big. Government is everywhere. So…if that’s what they believe, then WTF were these douchebags when Chimp-Dick was in office? NOW they think the government has grown too big? I’ve got news for you cracker-assed crackers…the government grew bigger under pResident George W. Bush than at any time since FDR and the New Deal. True story. But were the Hutarees clamoring for Bush’s head on a platter then? No. Oh yeah…and since y’all hate the government so much how the hell come you’ve all requested government appointed lawyers to defend you? That makes the Hutarees hypocrites, pure and simple.

And one more hypocritical angle to this clusterfuck of a story. The Hutarees claim that they are Christian warriors. O.K., I’ll give ‘em that. But if that’s the case, why do they need guns? Can’t they just pray to the Son of the Invisible Man in the Sky to smite their enemies? From what I’ve read, JZeus’ Dad was one pissed off old man. One word from His followers and the entire USo’A, Inc would be covered in a plague of locusts or frogs. Don’t they even believe in the power of their own God? Guess not.

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Stand and Deliver

Sad news from right here in the 775…Jaime Escalante died last night. Now y’all probably don’t know who Kemo was. He didn’t get the pub like those BSC motherhubbards from Michigan…or Karl Rove…or Dancing With the Stars. Kemo was the math teacher that inspired the movie Stand and Deliver. It was his passion…his commitment…his dedication to education that put Garfield High School on the map and gave generations of brown-skinded brothers and sisters the confidence to succeed in a cracker-assed cracker world. Yo Jaime…sleep well my brother. Ya done good.

Remember last April, when Homeland Security released a report sayin’ how BSC militias were popping up all over the place and that we’d better keep a look out for “homegrown terrorists?” Remember what the tighty-righties did? They bitched. They moaned. They complained. They said that there was no such thing as homegrown terrorists and that DHS was overblowing the situation. Well I’ve got news for John Boener, Eric Cantor, John McCain, Caribou Barbie and the rest of you right-wing nut cases…I WANT AN APOLOGY! Anyone telling you that the republican party is concerned about the safety of America and her citizens is LYING!

One last thing to you militia freaks. Ya know guys…I don’t hide the fact that I hated Chimp Dick, Dr. Evil and the rest of those un-American assholes that royally fucked up the country, broke the military and ruined the economy. Never once did I hide my disdain for those chucklenuts. But the worst I ever did was threaten to break my foot off in their collective John Brown hind pots. You rat-bastards were plotting to kill police officers, innocent American civilians and anyone else that didn’t fit with your world view! Well guess what? Y’all are neither Christian nor American. An American who doesn’t like the system tries to change it at the ballot box or through civic responsibility. A Christian would love his neighbor as he loves himself. A Christian would turn the other cheek and follow the teachings of the Prince of Peace. Like I said…y’all aren’t Christian or American. It’s fuck-tards like you that has JZeus spinning in His grave. Better bundle up good…I hear-tell Hell is a cold place and you’ll all be there soon.

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