Adieu Les Bleus

You’ve got to hand it to the Frogs…no team in international football has the diva thing down quite like Les Bleus. Alas, we won’t have them to entertain us anymore. This morning hosts Bafana Bafana dropped a deuce on Thierry Henry and company, sending France home in defeat and disgrace.

IMHO, the funniest story line to come out of the French team’s debacle is the tongue lashing they got from former star player Zinedine Zidane. Zidane criticized the team for its “ridiculous, childish behavior.” What a load of crap. Y’all rember Z2 dontcha? Last World Cup he got red carded in the final game for givin’ Marco Materazzi the old Glasgow Kiss. Talk about a classy guy. Getting scolded by Zinedine Zidane for acting like idiotic morons is like being called dumb by George W. Bush. True story.

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The Longest Day

Ah, the summer solstice one of my favorite times of the year. In honor...a little ditty from Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Now, let's hit the pool!

Utah...Metah...Wetah

A lot of people give the LDS church a ration of shit. People say it’s a cult. Some people don’t consider the LDSers Christians, and it’s just plain creepy that they run the entire state of Utah. Well, the Mormons and other Beehive Staters proved them all correct yesterday when the government-cheese executed convicted killer Ronnie Lee Gardner.

While I may be a progressive in some aspects, when it comes to the death penalty, I’m almost always for it’s swift use. The exception is any black man living below the Mason-Dixon Line…you Klansmen out there know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. But I have a real problem in this case.

The problem isn’t with the execution itself…the problem I have is that it was done in Utah. You see, if the state of Utah is run by the Mormon Church and the Mormon Church believes itself to be Christian, WTF are they doing executing anyone? Hell, the Utah Attorney General even TWEETED from the death chamber. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT CHRISTIAN? From what I’ve read in the Christian Bible, there are a million places where JZeus and His Dad talk about how killing is wrong. They talk about forgiveness and mercy. Do the Mormons follow those tenets of their Holy Book? No. But they sure have their magic underwear in a bunch over gay marriage…something that isn’t even mentioned in the Bible.

As long as the State of Utah has the death penalty as an option…no matter how heinous the crime, they’re not Christians. Hell, they’re no better than the perp they’re poppin’ caps at. Hypocrites? Yes. Men and women of God? No way in Hell.

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La Copa Rota

They sure the hell do a lot more with Legos than when I was a kid. Below...England v USA.

There is a Reason They Call it the World Cup

Over the weekend several friends of mine were giving me shit because of my love of soccer. The read the last PTB posting and were not impressed. So, while I was watching the U.S. v England game on Saturday they pounced. “It’s not REAL football,” they said. “It’s a boring game,” they insisted. They have the right to their own opinions but there is a special reason I hold international football close to my proverbial bosom.

Compared to the rest of the world, the United States sucks in soccer. It’s not like basketball back in the “Dream Team” days when we’d beat everyone a hundred to bupkis. No, soccer is one of those sports where the United States team has to be the scrappy, can-do, anything's possible Americans rather than the "know-it-all, holier-than-thou," ugly American most of the world makes us out to be. I don’t mind being the underdog to the rest of the world. But we’re getting better. You cannot be the best unless you beat the best. Well, England is one of the best. And for one game on Saturday, we were just as good.

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The Cup Runneth Over

For a football lover like me, there is nothing better than the World Cup. This football doesn’t pit Los Angeles against New York or Miami against Denver like American football does. No, this football pits the likes of Germany against Serbia (just like WWII) and the United States against England (just like 1776!). The international flavor of World Cup football is one of its biggest draws. Which brings me to North Korea.

A couple of days ago Yahoo Sports did a profile on the North Korean football team. The comment section quickly filled up with vitriolic statements like, “If you don’t win, they’ll execute you” and “Your country sucks” and “I hope you all die.” Aye caramba!

Now, I know there are a lot of haters out there. Heck-fire…I’m one of ‘em but this is the World Cup...THE WORLD FRIGGIN' CUP...you could, at least, admit that North Korea is a football team that has earned a place in the tournament and should be treated with the same respect as every other team in the tournament. Don't hate their politics, love their football. I’m no fan of Angela Merkel but I don’t go ‘round calling the German team Nazis. And I’m no fan of l’il Kim either but these players have earned the right to play on the world’s most prestigious stage…even if they are the biggest long shots in the tournament.

Remember...sports fans LOVE an underdog and no team is more underdogged than North Korea. I , for one, hope North Korea plays their collective arses off and give Joga Bonito, and the rest of us, a game...no, a World Cup for the ages. Oh yeah, and one other thing…

QUEEN ELIZABETH IS BUTT UGLY…PRINCE CHARLES HAS A SMALL PENIS AND FISH AND CHIPS TASTE LIKE ASS!!!

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The Stories of His Demise...

I remember it like it was yesterday. During a near-meltdown at the Springfield nuclear power plant, an automatic shutdown computer was flashing the following message: To avoid meltdown, press any key. Homer, the safety inspector on duty, was apoplectic, “Any key? Where’s the ‘any’ key? I can’t find the ‘any’ key!” And that about sums up the Republican result in last night’s Nevada GOP Senate primary.

You see, a couple of months ago, people were sayin’ that Harry Reid’s career was sleeping with the fishes. The bobbleheads on television were already saying that anyone could beat Reid in the general election. Then the republicans went out and got…anyone. They got “Tark the Shark’s” son…they got the Chicken Lady…they got the only politician in Nevada who supports, get this, BANNING SALES OF ALCOHOL. Aye caramba!

The three tighty-righties fought each other and called each other names and in the end there was only one winner. Sharron “Wacky” Angle…she of the “No alcohol should be sold in Nevada” meme. So, sometime last night Harry Reid’s career rolled over in its grave, climbed out of the hole and is now prepared to go full-fledged zombie on Angle’s Teabaggin’ self. The talking heads thought anyone could beat Reid in the general election. That was yesterday. Today it’s a whole different story.

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