Mommie Dearest

"Hey, Doc, I got a mother, allright? I mean, you got a mother. Sarge's got a mother. I mean, shit, I bet even the captain's got a mother. Well, maybe not the captain, but the rest of us got mothers," from the movie: Saving Private Ryan.

Yup...everybody's got a mum.

If she's in this living realm...give 'er her props.

If she isn't...give 'er a shoutout anyway.

It'll make you feel better, it'll make her feel better and things won't end up like this.

(8.-)

It's About Time Benny, My Clothes are Goin' Outa Style!

Man, we here at PTB have been waiting for this moment for a long time. Finally, real baseball comes back to the 775! Wooo Hooo!!!


For those of you not long here, Reno used to be home to the San Diego Padres single-A affiliate. This guy played here...so did this guy and this guy too. We could always look to the pros and see guys we'd seen swinging at Moana Stadium. It was always a source of pride. We haven't had that in many a summer. Welcome back baseball...we missed you and we welcome you back home to the 775.

To celebrate, we here at PTB are gonna crack some brews, down a few dogs and have a catch or two...maybe even head over to Mr. Mertle's house and see what Hercules is up to. Heck, we're so stoked, we might even look up ole' Wendy Peffercorn. PLAY BALL!!!

(8.-)

There's A New Sheriff in Town!

Congratulations to the AWESOMELY named Ted Power. He's the new president and publisher of the R-GAZ. He's just off the boat from the LA...the good LA. Not the bad one.

And no, that's NOT him ----->



We here at PTB always get a twinge of green when someone's given name conjures up images of THIS guy...


Our stage name?

Boner Petite...of course.

(8.-)

When Animals Attack

Now THIS is something we here at PTB can really get behind. Normally, the government-cheese is way off in solving problems. Not today. They're setting up what will obviously be a "Battle Royale" between Tall "Bad Boy of the Plant World" Whitetop and newly deployed Billy "We Eat Plants for Lunch" Goats. BTW...how the hell DO you deploy goats?

ANYWAY…

Huzzah to the powers-that-be for using an innovative, low-tech solution to solve a problem. Now if we could just get goats to eat these things, we’d really be set!

(8.-)

Drowning on Dry Land

See this picture?
It was taken right here in the 775.


Notice anything missing?
H2O!

And people.

That’s right, most of the Silver State is situated in the desert.
Desert = little or no water.

No H2O = no people.

SB 487 will create The Northern Nevada Water Authority in order to “…bring water leadership to Northern Nevada and Washoe County,” according to this guy.

Look…unless we get one of these…we’re gonna be dry for a long time. We don’t need another bureaucratic red-tape festooned layer of government cheese…what we need here in the 775 is “growth leadership.”

If you build it, they will come. If you don’t build it, they’ll stay the hell where they are. It seems our fearless leaders want to quickly change our quality of life so we become more like Cali.

(8.-)

Harry Reid Says "I Won't Bite!

Well...not in those exact words, but it was good to see that our dear Harry has his priorities straight. . Just in case those in D.C have forgotten:

We’re in the middle of TWO wars (no one seems to even remember this place)…

Gas prices are at record highs while oil companies are making record profits (and everything else we buy is getting more expensive as a result)…

New Orleans still looks like this (and probably will for a long time to come)…

Americans are still spending in the neighborhood of $50 for an aspirin (and lord knows how much for these)…

We could go on…and on…and on…but we’ll step aside for the day with one last thought…

How, in all good conscience, can a politician attend a bourgie feast-a-thon while this is still going on? Makes us wonder.

(8.-)

VICTORY!

The nightmare is over! It was on the front page today. We're winning the war on crystal meth! YAY!That, according to top cops here in the 775.

Now we here at PTB never pass up an opportunity to celebrate but we thinks this proclamation is WAAAAAY too premature. Why? Because the “War on Drugs” cannot be won. You simply cannot win a war against an ideology. Think we’re crazy?

Are we winning the…


“War on Teen Pregnancy?” Nope. This is how we're fighting that battle.

The “War on Terrorism?” Not hardly.

How’s that “War on Poverty” going? See for yourself.

The “War on Obscenity?” Good luck with that one.

See what we mean? People in power, wanting to stay there, have a nasty habit of blowing smoke up our collective skirts. “Give ‘em the good news and hope they aren’t paying attention,” they say.

Crystal Meth is as easy to get today as it was ten years ago. It’ll be just as easy to get ten years from now. Arrests, treatments and incarcerations are down -- not because of education, awareness or locking up the cold meds -- they’re down because the bad guys are getting smarter. John Law can’t be everywhere.

We live in a consumer society, if there is a need for a product…someone will be out there to fill those needs.

(8.-)

Nevada’s Governmental War Against Globally Extremist Cooties

Hatchets, axes and machetes are among but a few of the items that’ll be banned from Nevada school campuses with the passing of AB 107.

Question(s):

Where do you draw the line?

What, by definition, is a “deadly weapon?”

Cafeteria Food?

Math?

THIS GUY???

How many people CAN you kill if you’re a machete/axe/hatchet wielding freak-a-zoid on a rampage?

Remember…machetes don’t kill people BSC motherhubbards do!

It’s gonna be a sad Thanksgiving play at the local elementary school, though, when the Indians have to cut the firewood with dental floss and the Pilgrims have to cut the turkey with witty banter.

Oh yeah...Does it count if you’re THIS guy?

(8.-)

Getting Rafted

Last week’s misspellings aside, we’re paddling full speed ahead here @ PTB. We’ll try to keep a better eye on our typing fingers (both of them). It’s a darned shame that the Reno River Festival can’t get a big-time sponsor. It’s a great event. We've got kinfolk who've been doing this type of thing for a long time.

PTB has spent many an enjoyable hour floating on the Truckee. We’ve even sacrificed a couple pieces of gear to Davy Jones’ Locker. Just our luck though, the event will nab a big name sponsor and the drought (you know, the one that people keep saying won’t happen) will kick in at the same time. Then we’ll have to call it the Reno Off-Road Festival on the Truckee Trickle.

So...How Is The War Going?

Independence Day

Happy Holidays!

PTB (party fan since the '30's) knows that the 775 can throw down with the best of 'em. Just be careful out there among them english.

You don't wanna end up with your end up.

And Cali Says...WTF???

Nothin' like livin' here in the 775 and watchin' these guys all freaked out about snow in May. Global warming...yeah right! Don't worry Cali...come X-Mas day, it'll be more to your liking. So, we're asking...is the drought over yet?

(8.-)

The Taxman Cometh

Always willing to be public servents...we here at PTB suggest a solution to a problem


Check it - @ $195 per pop...the STATE can hire the homeless for minimum wage and train 'em to be pedestrians. That way, the downtrodden have jobs and the STATE has its tax revenue. Just a thought though.

Making No Sense Whatsoever

Almost every time an elected official opens his or her mouth lately, something utterly ridiculous pops out. Today's case in point: University Regent Stavros Anthony. It seems this government-cheesehead thinks that higher education employees should be allowed to become armed reserve police officers! EEEK! If one BSC motherhubbard with a couple of guns can do this...what kind of havoc can be wrought if everyone had a gun? Would you trust underpaid, unappreciated, stressed out professorial types to protect you in a firefight? It seems to me that the more folks out there packin' heat, the more likely the chance of something going terribly wrong.

(8.-)

When VK-Dub snapped this...

he got what we're all about here @ PTB.
Welcome to CYBERIA baby!!! The last frontier...or maybe just the front of the last tier?
Just think...the 775 poppin' out anywhere a euphamism might be Googled...or, at least RGJ'd.
We're gonna go on and on here...
Is Harry Reid a "traitor"?
How much should developers pay and what do WE pay for development?
What would be the difference if we unimploded the Mapes?
Can you spell "drought"?
How IS that baseball stadium thingy?
and by the way...How're the WARS goin'?
Just the first few of many Q's.
'Til then...Adieu!

Three Things That Didn't...

You know, it's hard to be a smart-ass when it comes to tragedy. Last week's massacre at Virginia Tech was definitely a tragedy but I'd like to make a few points:


1. It was NOT God's will that this happened. Evangelist Franklin Graham, president and CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association said that the killer at Virginia Tech University, was "filled with evil,” and that "Satan is responsible for last week's mass killings. "Kids are questioning, ‘Did God abandon us? Why did God allow this to happen?'" By blaming this tragedy on God's will or the devil is a weak attempt to assign blame where there is none. Besides, I know that the invisible man up in the sky only cares about Super Bowl winners, boxing champions and Olympic medalists. Click the links and prove me right.


2. Video Games are getting the finger as well. Appearing on The Larry King Show, "psychologist" (and PTB uses that term loosely) "Dr. Phil" said, "Common sense tells you that if these kids are playing video games, where they're on a mass killing spree in a video game, it's glamorized on the big screen, it's become part of the fiber of our society." To quote XXX, "He's (Senator Richard "Dick" Hotchkiss) the guy who wants to pull every video game off every shop in the country, because he feels that the video games diminishing intelligence of our youth. Come on, Dick... It's only education we got."
One quick observation...if video games make people so crazy, and millions of kids AND adults play 'em, why don't we have more massacres?