The Longest Day

Sixty-three years ago today, a lot of good people took a lot of bad shit to rid the world of one screwed-up individual and his lunatic followers. Thanks boys...you help us remember that America wasn't always the most hated nation in the world.

(8.-(

We Don't Need No Edu-ma-cation

ALLRIGHT, school is out here in the 775!

A couple of things to remember kiddies...

Don't let your friends and family get too happy at graduation...

Sell your soul now so you can afford college...

and

If you need a job...here ya go.

Welcome to the real world.

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From the Department of Bureaucracy Division - Crony Department

Again, the government cheese getting bigger 'cause they can't do all that work by their little lonesomes.

The Western Regional Water Commission won't have authority to acquire water, raise rates, or incur debt. Well, at least, the "can't raise rates" and the "can't incur debt" parts are right on.

The agency will have the ability to create region-wide plans for the use, management and conservation of water. Ummm...shouldn't we already have someone to do that?

Meanwhile, at the last minute, Lawmakers gave pay raises to school board members in Washoe and Clark counties. Board members were making $480 per month and now they get $2,000 per month. That's a 300% increase. No wonder the state doesn't have the money for things like transportation, education and meth addiction...they're spending all your tax money giving raises to their buddies. SHEESH!

(8.-)

Spreading Democracy Throughout the World

Eighteen years ago today, in what became known as the Tiananmen Square massacre, hundreds of pro-democracy students were reported killed and thousands wounded as Chinese troops swept demonstrators from the square in Beijing.

Today, China is one of our biggest trading partners.

When the government cheese tells you they're "spreading democracy," tell them they're liars!

(8.-)

It's Good to Be the King

If you're a dedicated public servant, striving to do the most good for those who put you in office…

why would you embarrass the state with this?

C’mon Mr. Governor…you can do better.

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Stealing Candy from YOU Baby...

High barrier markets are just what they imply. If you wanna put your business here...there's gotta be something in it for everyone. It's development paying for itself.

Now here comes Kimco and whadda you think they're famous for building? The lowest of the low barrier classifications.

Well...your kids won't get the economic tax benefit of having a high-tech operation goin' up in the 'hood...

But on the flip side...they can get dollar menu fries 24/7/365

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The Best Laid Plans of Mice...

Yep...they're keeping us safe.

WTF???

If they can't keep the plans to the friggin BAGHDAD EMBASSY from making it to Cyberia...do you really feel safe with them in charge of security in America?

Oh yeah...

Now the motherhubbards are talking about staying in Iraq for the next HALF CENTURY.

Hello...is there anybody IN there?

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Dead Poet's Society

The Gaz tells us that the biggest concerns for residents in northern Nevada are traffic, growth and water.

Ever the opportunists, we here at PTB offer a little 575 for the 775...

City Council votes
Put up another strip mall
wilderness no more.

The Mapes got blown up
Cinderblocks and memories
are all that are left.

Bumper to bumper
If you build it they will come
Drink the desert dry.

We used to be the
biggest of little cities
now we're just Fresno.



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If He Marries His Sister's Daughter, Will the Kids Call Him Uncle Dad?

See this pink-assed cracker? ---->

His name is Robert Zoellick. The President just named him to head-up the World Bank.

What's the problem you ask?

Zoellick is replacing Paul Wolfowitz. Remember the Wolfster? He was the chief architect of the war in Iraq.

Wolfie did such a cracker jack job with the war that he got himself a promotion to the top gig at the WB.

Wolf-gag promptly gave his uber-manly girlfriend a raise and a promotion which led to his can getting canned.

So now the prez is picking ZoZo for the gig.

His qualifications? He was a consultant to ENRON!!!

Remember those rat bastards? It seems the crappier you do your job, the more likely it is that the President will give you a promotion.

Just remember...the president is NOT in bed with big energy.

Yo Mr. Bush...all we do here at PTB is write a bit of a blog...got an opening at Homeland Security?

(8.-)

We Don't Need No Education...

Question to the more spiritualized among us…

Why was eating from the tree of “KNOWLEDGE” a bad thing?

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day (that is if he likes fish). Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life (unless he doesn’t like fish).

You’d think the “Greatest Country in the World” could afford gear for ALL students…not just the bourgie ones.

It doesn’t have to be top-of-the-line, brand-spankin’ new --insert designer label name of choice here -- stuff.

But Agnes Risley students are a shining example of what a little investment (grants, free software and unappreciated teachers), a little ingenuity and a lot of hard work can accomplish.

The Government Cheese always has money for pay raises...
and blowin’ people up…
maybe it’s time they handled our tax money a little wiser. Neh?

(8.-)

Why We Fight

Soldiers go to war because they're ordered to...

Politicians send soldiers to war because they, themselves, don't have to.

Here at PTB we love our men and women in uniform. We hope all of you to love 'em too. And so tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love 'em...

Lord knows, the politicians never have and never will...

...and when they say they do love the troops, tell them they're L I A R S!

As for the gang here at PTB...We just want our brothers and sisters home.

Godspeed

(8.-(

Why the Hell Would Gomer Leave Mayberry?

Here at PTB we feel that there is no higher calling than to serve one’s country. It seems though, that since WWII ended, we’ve been sending our kids to far away lands to die for nothing. Don’t believe us?

North Korea is still a threat…

Viet Nam is our friend now…

Grenada? Puh-Leese!

You saw for yourself what Gulf War #1 did…

And now these two POINTLESS wars.

If you volunteer for the service now…you’re asking for it.

(8.-(

Deadbeat Dad...Beat Dad Dead

So half the child support ordered in the 775 isn't paid. Who’s responsible for that?

Not me said the flea who used an STD

(Sudden Toddler Dissemination) Preventor.

In this country you need a license to

Fish…

Drive a car…

Own a business…

Get Married…

Hell…you even need a license to Ill.

But any motherhubbard with the right parts can poop out a baby with no requirements.

Listen up boys & girls...you birth it…you’re responsible for it.

(8.-)

If We Don't Fight 'Em Over There, We'll Have To Fight 'Em Over Here.

Here at PTB we have a soft spot in our hearts (and heads) for our Mormon brothers and sisters.

Hell, the 775 is home to quite a few LDSers.

But talk about a shitty break...some rat bastard went and named named these despicable creatures after 'em.

Can you imagine what a what a Catholic cricket would look like?

The Silver State's pestician may think 10-20 acres of the little bastards aren't a big deal...but just looking at ONE of them gives us the major willies.

At least we've got our own flock of seagulls. Remember it on election day!

(8.-)

Flags of Our Fathers

We here at PTB are proud flag wavers/burners. Both are great ways to show how much you love the good ol' U.S. of A.

But this "flap" (pun intended) about the humongous stars & bars flying over Hummers-R-Us down in the 702 has us cheesed off.

The Mayor wants a veterans' memorial at the site and the flag can stay. No memorial...no Oversized Old
Glory.

What? Like 'Vegas wasn't already gaudy?

Neighbors accuse the flag of keeping them awake at night.

Jeez...you'd think the gunfire and crack ho's would be AT LEAST as noisy.

We're just happy to read a story about erecting poles!

One final thought. Would a real patriot drive a hummer?

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Cracked Ho's

So, this motherhubbard tells us he "voted his conscience" when vetoing legislation dealing with Nevada's meth problem.


Yeah right.


He said that people who lobbied him called the bill “onerous.” For you definition-challenged individuals, it means “burdensome or oppressive.”


You’d think we’d NEED that kind of a law to deal with this problem.

Oh, we get it.

We can oppress the terrorists in Gitmo...

We can oppress our brown-skinned brothers trying to make a better life for themselves...

We can even oppress an entire segment of the population because of who they're bangin'.

But we wouldn't want a little oppression on "Crackufacturers."

Thanks a lot Nevada Assembly Republicans…you’ve reinforced every negative stereotype we’ve had about your party.

(8.-(

Smoke on the Water

Back in the day…who put out forest fires in Tahoe? The trees are still there, so it doesn't seem to have hurt the forest much.


And how is it that, back in the day, you could ride a horse from the lake to Virginia City in about an hour?

When the bourgieman builds his pad in Bambi's back yard, he shouldn’t cry when the Washoe Zephyr makes him pay. Actually, we're the ones who are paying.

Welcome to fire season.


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Stop...Oh Yes, Wait A Minute Mister Postman...

So, the government wants to get out of the mail delivery business, eh?

With privatization of the postal system...will rate increases become non-existent? No.

We’ve tried privatization.

Remember the rebuilding of Iraq by Halliburtion?

The government privatized half of FEMA before Hurricane Katrina. We know how that turned out.

If the government keeps privatizing its work, what the hell are they spending our ever increasing tax money on?

Besides, do you really want this guy delivering your mail?

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Deja Vu' All Over Again

Well...it's happened again. Second time in less than a week. How much more of this are we gonna take? Will the next death have to be your brother?

Son?

Dad?

Sister?

Remember, for every American casualty there are a hundred Iraqi deaths and countless martyrs.

We may be fighting them over there for now, but we'll be fighting 'em here for thousands of years to come.

If you support or have, in the past, supported this pointless war...the blood of our brave soldiers and thousands of innocents is on your hands.

(8.-(

Ps. Sorry 'bout missing this weekend folks. We here at PTB were celebrating Armed Forces Day. SOMEONE has to support our troops. Bittersweet, indeed.

Bad Friday

It's a sad day here in the 775. The thing is, it didn't have to happen and it doesn't have to happen again. But these guys HATE America and American soldiers so we're in it up to our eyebrows for the forseeable future. Just remember, as long as you vote for these douchebags, nothing...Nothing, NOTHING will change.

Adieu Sgt. Schober

(8.-(

Latest Iraq War Casualty -- Prince Harry's Balls

Skirt-wearin' poodle-walker

Chicken

P/Wussy

Lilly-Livered Yella Belly...

Those were the thoughts AFTER reading HRH was "deeply saddend at the news" he wasn't gonna get to go and kick some terrorist ass.

You'd think if the little bugger really wanted to go, he could pull one of these.

Remember when leaders were at the FRONT of the battle?

Now we know that there are only three REAL men left in Great Britain...This Guy...This Guy...and This Guy.


(8.-)

LIARS!!!

"Oil companies are not overcharging motorists for gasoline, an industry group told Congress on Wednesday."

WTF???

Anyone with a pea for a brain knows that's just not true. $200 billion in profits from 2003 through 2006 isn't chump change. Who pays? We do. Higher oil prices mean higher prices for gas, food and just about everything else.

These guys have the Huevos Rancheros to tell Congress that they're not screwing us? BSC they are. Something needs to be done. Here's one suggestion.

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Bizzare G'zar

You know this war thing is really getting out of hand when the President (from the party of small government) appoints another "Czar."
This guy is now in charge of military operations in Iraq, Afghanistan and others. Question: Isn't that what these crackers are supposed to be doing? What about the rat-bastard who is constitutionally required to be in charge? SHEESH! It seems like every time this happens we get another layer of government cheese- whiz.
Look guys, you'll never win this war...or this one...or this one. SUPPORT OUR SOLDIERS and bring 'em home. We've messed things up enough in the middle east. We here at PTB say "Let's bring our troops home and fight the terrorists here. We're tired of our brave soldiers dying over there...for nothing!"

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War...What Is It Good For?

Here's to the safe return of the three soldiers missing in Iraq. Although one of them is from right here in the 775, EVERY soldier in and out of uniform is in our thoughts. War may be hell but this quagmire is even worse than that. Let's hope it's over soon so we can bring our troops home!

(8.-)

Life in the Gray Bar Motel

So, 294 out of 368 new prisoners in the NNCC this month admit to being meth addicts. That’s 80 percent. Half of them admit to being high when committing their crimes. Here at PTB we’re all about personal responsibility. So, first things first…quit blaming the drug for your crime. Alcohol doesn’t cause DUI’s. Doofuses who drink and drive cause DUI’s. The question is, which is the better solution? Getting treatment, counseling and detox for meth users or locking them up and let ‘em do time?
If, as the study suggests, every dollar invested in treatment results in $12 dollars saved in criminal justice, crime and health costs…what could be better than treatment?

(8.-)