Spoiler Alert!!!

Well, here we are. The Harry Potter saga is deader than one of Michael Vick's best friends.

We knew this day would come but we never thought it would end in such a bizarre way.

Harry...gay?

Hermione and Ron having baby-daddy issues?

Professor Snape inappropriately touching students? EEEEK!

There were a LOT of twists but one thing that didn't surprise us...turns out Lord Voldemort really was a Dick.

That was more obvious than the Hagrid/BALCO storyline.

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Park Place?

Quality baseball will peak interest here for about two weeks. Then, the honeymoon'll be over.


What the hell kind of "mixed use" can you get out of a baseball field anyway? Water slide down the third base line? Internet cafes in the dugouts?


To make a profit with a AAA baseball team, you need butts in seats. The 775 just can't pull that off . We can't even support the teams already here. Besides, where you gonna put it?


Downtown Reno? Crappy Parking.


Sparks Marina? Renoites would commit seppuku.


There just aren't enough people in the 775 who'll drive to WHEREVER to see minor league baseball. Haiku says it all.



Where to build the park?

five thousand people needed

profits will be nil

(8.-)

Governor Buzzkill

Governor “Legal Defense Fund” thinks presidential candidates spend too much time in the Silver State.


Isn’t the motherhubbard’s job to get people to come here in the first place and not to chase 'em off?


Every time a Dem stops by, the 775 gets national coverage in the press, local big-wiggers get to schmooze with national big-wiggers and the regular schmos get to be close to someone famous.


Look Jim...if it were your Republican buddies "doin the do" here in the 775, you'd be dancin' the little toady dance...so tell the stick in your ass to take the stick out of its ass.


(8.-)

It Takes A Whole Lot O' Medicine to Pretend You're Somebody Else

We love us our ball here in the 775. We've been playing since the days back of Mr. Mertel's house.

As the Great Bambino's record gets closer to falling, we wanted to celebrate with a bit of haiku.


Barry breaks record

Innocent ‘til proved guilty

Throw the first stone…bitch


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Babies Makin' Babies

We've said it before...we'll say it again. You need a license to fish, you need a license to drive, some places even make you get a license for your dog but anyone can poop out a baby (in this case two). And don't believe for a minute this was all caused by the internet...or drugs...or Elvis' pelvis...

These two shouldn't be allowed to have any more children.

Global W(h)arming

How many $...spent on this tripe
could have been spent helping?



Just asking.


(8.-)

Happy Dam Birthday

Most of us here at PTB have spent time down in the 702. Not all of it our own choosing...



We just like the 775 better.




But we've gotta admit, one of our faves about SoNv is Hoover Dam. Heck, before the USA went pink panties, you could actually go down inside the thing. Pretty cool.



Besides there's nowhere in the world more fun to hock loogies off of.



So we just want to send a "Happy Birthday" to Hoover Dam.


One of the few cool things about the 702.

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Druggin' & Drivin'

This is what you get when Tipper Gore has sex.



AGIII gets collared by Ponch & John with a boatload of the kind and 'scrips without proper papers.


He was goin' warp 10 in his veggie-mobile...

sheesh...we didn't even know those corn-guzzlers could go that fast!


And what's the first thing AGIII did after getting popped? He blamed the ganja!

Listen up...drugs aren't bad...morons on drugs are.

(8.-)

Hot Time in the City

Well, it looks like the 775 will be bakin' like the 702 today. Yeah, yeah, we know that all y'all in the AZ and the like aren't shedding any tears for us but 109 degrees is HOT! Stupid Al Gore and his global warming. When will it end? Oh, that's right...this winter.

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Watching Your Fifths on the Fourth

Be careful with heat.

All sorts of things can burn you.

April babies ROCK!

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Happy Independence Day from whatever it is that you feel the need to be independent from.

...and Your Little Dog Toto Too!!!

It sure is a pisser when everything you own gets washed down the tubes and we here at PTB wanna send out good vibes to our brothers and sisters in the KS.

Quick question: is all this flooding God's revenge for the Jayhawker's belief in intelligent design?

Does the invisible man up in the sky hate Kansas because they no longer teach evolution in the classroom?

Lastly, if things really were intellegently designed by a supreme being, did he or she forget how to do the plumbing? Just asking.


(8.-)

Art...Art For Art's Sake

Art is like ice cream but sometimes chocolate, vanilla and strawberry just won’t do.



That’s why here in the 775 we’ve do ourselves a month-long cacophony of sights, sounds, smells and tastes known as Artown.



Think of it as an onion-skin, rutabaga, tripe, coffee and haggis sorbet. Made by Timothy Leary , served by Picasso in a genuine Jimi Hendrix bowl.



It’s synaesthesiac’s worst nightmare and there’s something for everyone.


July is hot in the 775!!!


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New car, caviar, four star daydream. Think I'll buy me a football team.

WTF??? The Government-Cheese has done it again. They've voted themselves a COLA of more than four grand!!!


Think we can afford it?


Think they earned it?


When was the last time you got a triple digit COLA?


When they say they care about you, your family and your country...THEY'RE LYING!

(8.-)

Sins Of The Father (and Mother)

Parents, for the most part, look out for the best interests of their kids. After all, it is their job. But now we're reading that giving alcohol to little Bobby could quite possibly land Mum & Popster in the gray bar motel. Once again, Big Brother thinks he can do a better job protecting the little ones. PUH-LEEEEZE!!!

Check it...you can give your kids drugs like caffeine...you can let 'em play video games and eat high fructose corn syrup 'til their fat little bodies explode...heck, they can even watch sex and violence with no government interference. All they need is parental permission. Does the government care about any of that? No. When they tell you "It's about the children" they are LYING to you!

It almost makes you want to be a Frog.

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If A Tree Burns In The Forest...

We’ve got nothing but love and good vibes for the peeps up in the SLT. We here at PTB have always had a spot in our hearts for "thems that be Tahoe." Indeed, it is one of the most beautiful places here in the 775…probably one of the most beautiful places on this entire big blue marble.

When they catch the perp, they should go old school on his ass.

Just one question though…when you buy a trailer and move it to a park in Kansas, wouldn’t you be worried about the wind?

(8.-)

Talkin' Out The Side Of His Neck

Last week the president used his little red veto pen for only the third time in almost seven years. He said that he couldn’t, in all good conscience, use American taxpayer money to kill stem cells.

Funny…he doesn’t seem to have a problem using our money to kill real people.

Anytime a politician says they support the troops…they’re lying to you.

(8.-(

Television...The Drug Of The Nation

These buzz-kills just came out with a study that says that parents are worried about their kids' exposure to sex and violence in the media.

(Full disclosure: We here at PTB make ONE MILLION DOLLARS every single time you turn on your television.)

Listen up 'rents...rather than getting the government cheese to censor the content of TV shows...do us all a favor and BE PARENTS! That's your job!

If little Bobby goes BSC it isn't television's fault...

you can't blame it on video games...

or rap music either. It's all on you.

We keep saying it...you need a license to fish, you need a license for your dog, or to open a business...but anyone with one of these can be a parent...understand your responsibilities or keep your pecker in your pants!

(8.-)

If God Was On Our Side We'd Be Kicking Their Asses By Now!

What WOULD Jesus fly?

"Prince of Peace" indeed.

Guess he'll have to sortie a little bit longer now though...

When they tell you they support the troops call them LIARS!!!

(8.-)

Kill 'Em All...Let (Their) God Sort 'Em Out

Nine...count 'em nine.

Enough for an entire team.

Accidents happen...yeah right. This isn't the war on terror!

If we fight them there, we won't have to fight 'em here. If we kill 'em there, you can be sure we've made martyrs of them and made terrorists out of their kinfolk.

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This Is Your War...This Is Your War On Drugs...

This is why we do not now, nor ever will, trust the government cheese. It's bad enough we've got brothers and sisters in harm's way for NOTHING! Now it seems that some douchebag in the DC wants our military to fight flowers!!! Every second we're in the AFG, we're making enemies. Every second we're in the AFG, we're screwing over our military men & women. When they tell you they support our troops...call 'em LIARS!

Get Along Lil' Dogie...

One of PTB's all-time faves here in the 775 is the Reno Rodeo. It's hard to explain but nothing is quite as exciting as seeing some huckleberry get his head stomped by a raging bull. We gotta admit though...you've gotta have great athletic ability and a HUGE pair of iron balls to get out there on a 2,000lb. steak with bad intentions. Just remember ladies...the bigger the buckle...the smaller the...well, you know.

(8.-)

You Wanna Call it WHAT???

If Scheels Sporting Goods succeeds in getting their name on Sparks Boulevard, we here at PTB can see good things coming from this.

We could make money by renaming all of our streets.


Our first choice, of course, is changing the name of Mill Street to Mills Lane.


BTW, it sure is nice to see Mills back in town. HUZZAH to you brother. We miss you!

(8.-)

Betsy Ross Was A MILF!!!

We always get excited on Flag Day here at PTB. After all, the flag is the symbol of everything America stands for. Lately though, the Stars and Bars have become a little less popular with our brown-skinned brothers and sisters. Let's just hope we can rekindle a little love for the red, white and blue. We certainly could use it.

(8.-)

House Hunting

Some here in the 775 are predicting a recession because of the downturn in people buying houses and the shit the subprime lenders have gotten themselves (and us) into. But the slowdown in the housing market mostly affects those in the real estate business. The crisis with subprime lenders affects those who took out loans to buy a house and now can’t afford the payments. But the only think that’ll affect Reno’s economy is our ability to lure people to the area who think slot machine and excitement belong in the same sentence.

(8.-)

Luuuuke....Use The Force

WOO HOO!!! We don't get many blue-chippers here in the 775 and when we do, it's almost impossible to keep 'em. Not this time. Studlier-than-thou power forward Luke Babbitt nixed his verbal to OSU and decided to play for the Silver and Blue. Don't think it's important? Don't really care? Check this...with Cool Hand Luke plying his trade at THE U of N...you can add a couple o' million more dollars flowin' into campus coffers and maybe even a couple of more NCAA Tournament wins. Major coup for Fox & Friends. Huzzah...it's a great day to be among the Wolf Pack faithful!

(8.-)