Home Groan

Like a lot of cities around the country, the RNO has some mondo budget problems. One of the solutions to save money was to lay off 19 firefighters. But last night several firefighters and their wives went to the City Council to plead their case. They talked about how devastated their families would be if daddy got a pink slip. They talked about how firefighters are heroes who don’t deserve this kind of treatment. After IAFF 731 decided to forego a couple of raises, the city caved and the firefighters got to keep their gigs. Question: Would any other city employee get the same break if their families lobbied the city council? No. So now instead trying to spread the pain evenly across the spectrum, the council has decided that firefighters are untouchable. Don’t you wish all workers had those kind of rights?

Monday night Letterman was makin’ hella fun of VPILF Sarah Palin and her fam. Some of his jokes were pretty crude but nothing outta the ordinary. But the tighty-righties (Palin included) had themselves a conniption over it. They freaked so much that Letterman had to issue an apology (of sorts). Isn’t it funny that when Bill-O and Fat Boy incite their audience to kill abortion doctors, Muslims or anyone else they don’t agree with, it’s called “free speech.” But when a comedian calls a right-wing politician a slut he gets vilified? SHEESH!

And finally today…there have now been three terrorist attacks, on American soil, in the last week-and-a-half. All three were carried out by BSC motherhubbards. We knew they were coming, though. Remember in April when DHS released their report saying these kinda things were gonna happen? Remember? When they released the report, what did the tighty-righties do? They demanded a retraction, an apology and the resignation of Janet Napolitano, the head of DHS. Yo Republicans…if you wanna know why y’all are goin’ the way of the Whigs, look no further than this. They say they want to protect the citizenry, they say they want to keep America safe…and since they're politicians, you know it’s bullshit.


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The American Way?

The first detainee from Gitmo got his day in court yesterday. Ahmed Ghailani (who looks like he's about ten years old) has been in U.S. custody for five fuckin’ years without a trial or charges. That’s good news to real Americans out there. Why? ‘Cause in the land of the free and the home of the brave, we’re not supposed to toss people in the dungeon and throw away the key. That’s not the way we roll. Alas…President Barack Hussein Obama didn’t get that memo. Read on…

The USo’A is sending seventeen Uighurs, formerly at Gitmo, to the island nation of Palau. Palau agreed to take the men in exchange for two hundred million U.S. dollars even though there is a large Uighur population in D.C. that desperately wants to take in their brothers. Two hundred million…that comes to $11,764,705.88 per Uighur. Tell you what Barry-O…PTB will take a couple of those bad boys for eleven mil apiece. Heck-fire…they can shack up in the ‘rent’s basement with us and we’ll have a good ole time. Easy to do with that kinda scratch.

The BSC motherhubbard who’s accused of murdering one soldier and wounding another last week in front of a recruiting station says he did it in retaliation for what our military is doing in Iraq and Afghanistan. Question: The dude was born and raised here in the U.S. If the guy is this pissed off at his own countrymen…how pissed off you think the people who actually live (and die) in Afghanistan and Iraq are? For every one person we kill over there, ten more terrorists are born.

American citizens Walter Myers and his wife, Gwendolyn have been charged with spying for Cuba for the past thirty years. We’ve gotta ask…WTF kind of information were they sending Fidel and the boys? Cuba is as bass-ackward now as in the 1970’s so it’s not like they got any good intel.

And finally…we read a story yesterday sayin’ that the ‘Bamer mentions JZeus more often in public than the Bush-Wipe ever did. Yo, Barry-O…pResident Bush wore his religion like Zsa Zsa wearin’ a fur coat. It didn’t do any good. Why? Because GWB is about as Christian as Scooby Doo. You wanna show the SOG how Christian you really are? Show him what you’re doin’ to the guys at Gitmo. Whadda you think he’ll say?



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Tehran So Far Away

Read us once and you’ll know we love us the Persians here at PTB. Hell, if we ever get outta this blogging-nerd phase, move outta the ‘rent’s basement and hook up with a Persian grrl and we’re gonna name our first baby Cyrus…but that’s the crux of another biscuit…

Now, y’all know that there are a lot of problems goin’ down in Iran. That’s what you get when you let a bunch of BSC religious wing-nuts run your country. But there’s a crack getting’ wider over there and it could be a chance for the USo'A to make some progress. According to a story…

“With young people pursuing more liberal lifestyles and shunning the traditional mores of their parents' generation, the marrying age is steadily climbing. This terrifies Iran's religious government, which still peddles the virtue of chastity and views young people's shifting attitudes toward sexuality as a direct threat to the Islamic revolution's core values.”

We told you about those religious zealots. But do you see it? C’mon…what is the one universal attitude that all teenagers share? FUCK AUTHORITY! It’s been that way forever. Teenagers hate rules and they hate when authority figures tell ‘em what to do. So, here’s the plan:

Rather than getting’ into a dick-swingin’ contest with Iran’s tighty-righties…you know…with bullets and guns and bombs… we should fight ‘em with drugs, sex and rock & roll. Think about it. If the U.S. starts smuggling Snoop Dogg CD’s, cases of Jack Daniels, subscriptions to Hustler and anything grown in the Emerald Triangle into Iran, soon the young’uns will turn on their elderly oppressors. Anyone older than 50 can attest to the fact that with enough booze, THC and coochie on their minds, kids’ll go BSC for the right to be rebellious. And isn’t that what we’d like to see in old Persia, a rebellion? REMEMBER THE 60's!

We hope we’re all alive to see it…it’s gonna be a beautiful sight. Downtown Tehran, packed with revelers, slammin’ Mojitos and beer-bonging Jaeger Meister. The smoke so thick from the spliffs that it looks like a foggy day in San Francisco. Skynyrd jammin’ Freebird on the boombox and rocket-hottie Persian babes doin’ the Middle Eastern version of Girls Gone Wild. Just the thought of that has the Ayatollah spinnin’ in his grave. Well…at least he’s doin’ it to a kick-ass beat.

(8.-)

Fast Start to the Work Week

Today, North Korea sentenced two American journalists to twelve years in prison for what amounts to trespassing. Aye caramba! Well, at least L’il Kim and the NoKo’s put their bad guys on trial. Americans, we just slap ‘em in Gitmo and let ‘em rot. Sad day when North Korea can claim the moral high ground on the U.S.

Today the Supreme Court ruled that “Don’t ask, don’t tell” could stay in place. Check it: You’re in a foxhole with your buddies. Y’all are taking fire from every direction. BOOM! BAM! BOOM! You’re in a fight for your life. Now, I ask you…do you really give a flyin’ rat’s ass if the other motherhubbards in the hole with you are gay or straight?

Judge Sotomayor busted her ankle on the way to D.C. today. Yo SoSo…can I sign your cast? Question: You think Newt, the Boner or Fat Boy have a well-hexed voodoo doll somewhere in their possession?

And finally today…Mondays are the most popular day to start a diet. No problem with that. If you’re one of the millions tryin’ to suppress your appetites today, we’ve got four words that’ll help. Ready? Here goes…

Susan. Boyle. Sex. Tape. YIKES!!! If that doesn’t make you lose your appetite, or, at least, make you blow chunks…you have what they call a “cast-iron stomach.”

(8.-)

Bussed

What a depressing week. Air France 447 sleeps with the fishes, Grasshopper took a nude dirt nap and Koko took her last bow. Well, at least we've got the Bus Boys to cheer us up.


(8.-)

As Jefferson Spins in His Grave

In the land of the free and the home of the brave, they murder innocent men, women and children in the name of truth, justice and the American way.



On Monday, Mohammad Ahmad Abdallah Salih died at Guantanamo Bay. They say he committed suicide. Not so fast. He was held without charges, without bail, without a lawyer and without a trial for seven-and-a-half long years.



What was this man’s crime that he should be banished to the Hell that is Gitmo? Did he kill American soldiers? Was he a terrorist? Was he a Detroit Lions fan? Or was he just Muslim? And why does a Christian nation sit idly by while these kinds of atrocities continue? It’s shameful and sad that people who are alleged followers of JZeus would treat a person this way.



It really doesn’t matter what Salih did. He’s dead and we’ll never know. It matters that, in a country touting itself as the greatest the world has ever seen, we torture, maim and kill innocent people in the name of freedom.



Politicians, zealots and cowards would have you believe that by treating human beings this way, they’re keeping America safe. They lie. By treating human beings this way, we show the world our true nature. Americans aren’t benevolent. Americans aren’t caring and kind. Americans aren’t the holders of the moral high ground. No. Americans are petty…and weak…and scared. Americans are so afraid of “terrorists” that they’re willing to give up basic human rights for the illusion of safety, the illusion of security.




The Declaration of Independence states that “All men are created equal.” It also says that everyone has the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” To ignore those fundamental principles, is to ignore who we should be – to ignore who we could be – to ignore who we are supposed to be. As long as America turns her back on the rule of law, turns her back on the principles she was founded on, turns her back on the fundamental rights of EVERY human being, she’ll continue to show the world just how hypocritical her citizens are. I guess that’s the “new” American way.




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H2OBoard Meeting

A while back, disgraced baseball slugger Mark McGwire testified before Congress about his alleged steroid usage. McGwire wussed out by saying he wanted to look forward, not backward. Way to man-up fat boy!

Last week, Dodger owner Frank McCourt was asked whether or not ManRam should be voted on to the MLB All-Star team. McCourt’s reply? He said that we shouldn’t look backward on Manny’s steroid use; we should only look forward to him coming back. Dude must’ve been a great dodgeball player in junior high.

Two excellent examples of not answering the question. And now for the shitty example…

Last week, President Obama was asked why he decided not to release pictures of prisoners, allegedly, being tortured at Guantanamo Bay. His response? You guessed it…the ‘Bamer said that releasing the pictures would be akin to looking backward while he is intent on looking forward.

Now, it’s a perfectly acceptable cop-out for a sports owner or jock-strap to dance around a question like that. But for the man elected to change the way America has been operating for the last eight years, it is an unacceptable answer. Today, Barry-O is flyin’ to the Middle East and he could go a long way in repairing our image abroad if he’d admit that America tortured detainees, if he’d admit that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and Iraq were/are wrong and that we will prosecute war criminals – whoever they are. Problem is, he won’t do it. The tighty-righties would crucify him if he did.

Nope…the guy they call “The Anointed One” is just another political hack, coverin’ his political ass and doin’ whatever he can to stay in political power. Americans voted for Barry-O because they wanted change. All they got was the same old excuses coming out of a different lie-hole. That’s just sad.

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He Doesn't Know Dick

Dr. Evil has been in the news a lot lately. Funny thing coming from the brotherhubbard that had Google Earth blur out his house for eight years. But like it or not, Dick Cheney is flappin’ his lie-hole and the whole world seems to be listening.

Yesterday, the former Veep took to the airwaves to…get this…defend gay marriage. Aye caramba! WTF did that come from? While he does have a gay daughter, Dick and his compatriots in the Bush administration never were the types to embrace those “afflicted with the Gay.” Guess times they are a changin’. But not that much. You see, Cheney had a caveat to his assertion that gay peeps should be allowed to get hitched. He said that marriage is, and always has been a state issue. "And I think that's the way it ought to be handled today, that is, on a state-by-state basis.” And that’s why Dick Cheney, in our humble opinion, is dumber than a sack of doorknobs.

It wasn’t that long ago that blacks couldn’t get married in certain states ‘cause they were considered “property.” An even shorter time ago, blacks and whites were not allowed to get married to each other in certain states because some racist rat-bastards thought it was immoral. Hell, if Alabama, Mississippi and the rest of the redneck, huckleberry states had their way, blacks still wouldn’t be allowed to marry.

No Dick…gay marriage shouldn’t be decided willy-nilly on the whim of some cracker-ass government-cheese dick in a state where the most common kinfolk is “Uncle-Dad.” This is America. We’re not supposed to roll like that. So we’re gonna toss you a soft one. Remember the Declaration of Independence?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

That’s right Dick. Straight from the pen of TJ hisself. ALL men are created equal…that includes the men who like men, women who like women and all the peeps in between who love ‘em both. That's how we roll.

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Pon-Tiff

Here at PTB we love us some Pope. That dude has got to be the baddest motherhubbard on the planet. Why? Who else could swear off sex and walk around all day in a robe, a mitre and ruby red slippers without everyone thinking he’s gay? Nobody. But what the Pontiff said over the weekend got us thinkin’ ‘bout the third Commandment – “Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.”





Now, most people are taught that the third Commandment means you can’t say “Goddamnit.” PTB readers know that’s not what we were taught. We were taught that taking the Lord’s name in vain meant assigning God’s intentions to human actions. Y’all know what we’re talkin’ ‘bout…


Athletes sayin’ how God helped ‘em win a championship…

or, politicians spoutin’ off about how God blesses America…

and criminals makin’ excuses for their deeds by sayin’ God made ‘em do it.



Listen folks, the Invisible Man in the Sky could give a rat’s ass who wins the Super Bowl…America is NOT His favorite country and no matter how BSC you are, He did NOT tell you to kill someone. Which brings us to Gentle Ben.



Saturday, in a humble moment, The Pontiff said he found it hard to understand why the Lord would have picked him to be Pope. Well…we’ve got news for ya Big Ben…God didn’t pick you to be Pope…a bunch of Catholic Bishops elected you Pope. JZeus’ dad doesn’t give a flyin’ fig who runs the Catholic church. Zero. However we do find it strange that you think God really does sit around Heaven pickin’ winners and losers down here like it was all one big parlay card of life. Dude… you either don’t have a good grasp of the third Commandment or your mitre must be on too tight.



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Friday in Summer Concert Series con't.

Damn, we sure do love us some summer. Warm temps, minimal clothing and great music. We've gotta have SOMETHING to get our minds of the shit in the world. Swear to JZeus' Dad...one day, we're gonna make a commercial for Tahoe Creamery with this song!


(8.-)

Nothing Like Poe When You're Depressed

Snub No's

Supreme Being

Looks like the ‘Bamer got hisself a pick for the SCOTUS. It’s a pretty good bet that the tighty-righties are gonna get their Underoos in a bunch over the pick. But we’re gonna save ‘em the trouble of researching her past and give you the boogity boogity up front, right here. So, without further ado…a couple of things you might not have known about Supreme Court nominee -- Judge Sonia Sotomayor:



In her early years, she rode with Pancho Villa.



She isn’t even Hispanic. Her real name is Brunhilde Steinmetz-Glockenspiel.



She was one of Wilt Chamberlain’s 20,000 conquests.



Her friends nicknamed her “SoSo.”



Before going into law, she played midfield for Real Madrid.



She speaks seven different languages, none of which are Spanish.



Played rhythm guitar for Santana at Woodstock.



Wrestled in the Mexican WWE as Jurist Prudence.



She earned money for law school doing voiceover work as the Taco Bell chihuahua.



And lastly...something you didn't know about Judge Sonia Sotomator...She once sat in for Lynn Toler as a guest judge on Divorce Court.



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Remember

Celestial Season

Damn, we love us some summer! This weekend kicks off the season with a hearty "Boo Yah!" Gonna head out to some H2O and mingle with the honeys. Our suggestion? Y'all do the same. here's a bit o' the Fresh Prince to get you in the mood.



BTW...Don't forget to check back here on Monday. We're gonna have you cryin' your eyes out.



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Good Cop -- Great Cop

Hot diggety damned! Didja hear? PoPo in the Big Apple went and caught themselves four terrorists. They busted the rat-bastards yesterday and today they’ve got ‘em in court. HUZZAH!



NYPD Blue didn’t torture anyone to get information.


They didn’t kill any civilians in the process of the arrest.


They didn’t need Halliburton,
or KBR,
or Blackwater,
or a predator drone,
or fuckin’ Lynndie England to get the bad guys…

Nope. Just good, old-fashioned police work. Just like the cops in Bali...and London...and Madrid.



Now these recent converts to Islam are gonna get their day in court, then soon get plenty of time in the Gray Bar Motel to study the Koran. They’ll need it.



You see, just like Christianity and Judaism, Islam is a religion of peace. And just like Christianity and Judaism, there are BSC motherhubbards spewing hate outta their lie-holes claiming to do it for God, or Yahweh, or Allah, or Jesus. If these chuckle-headed wannabes had actually studied about their newly found religion, they wouldn’t be out tryin’ to blow people up. How do a bunch of bass-ackward, crazy, bald-headed, cracker assed crackers from the 775 know? ‘Cause we can read…



Chapter 3, verse 172, of the Quran: "Of those who answered the call of Allah and the messenger, even after being wounded, those who do right and refrain from wrong have a great reward."



Amen.

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Silver Tongues from the Silver State

Every time a report is issued talkin’ ‘bout edu-ma-cation, the Silver State ranks down at the bottom with the likes of Mississippi, American Samoa and the Aleutian Islands. It was always kinda funny…’til now. Below are a couple o’ recent examples of Nevada-educated political-types.



Yesterday, Senator Harry Reid was asked about releasing prisoners from Gitmo. His response?

REID: I’m saying that the United States Senate, Democrats and Republicans, do not want terrorists to be released in the United States. That’s very clear.

QUESTION: No one’s talking about releasing them. We’re talking about putting them in prison somewhere in the United States.

REID: Can’t put them in prison unless you release them.

QUESTION: Sir, are you going to clarify that a little bit? …

REID: I can’t make it any more clear than the statement I have given to you. We will never allow terrorists to be released in the United States.


How in the hell did this guy get elected to the United States Senate? Oh yeah, Nevada voters. Aye caramba! Another example…


Senator John Ensign just got back from touring Gitmo. His analysis? He said average Americans would be “outraged because the kind of treatment (detainees) get is certainly not only better than anybody in an American prison, but they get better health care the average American citizen does.”


Just fucking great. Gitmo terrorists get better healthcare than the average Joe Blow and Ensign thinks that’s a good idea. Shows you what shitty healthcare Americans have. Better treatment than homegrown prisoners? Not. Close. American prisoners have the right to a speedy trial, they have the right to an attorney, they have the right of to be charged with a fucking crime. Those poor rat-bastards in Gitmo have one right…the right to be waterboarded ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-THREE TIMES!!!




You wanna know what Americans are outraged about Senator Douchebag? We’re outraged that you, Senator Reid and the rest of your ilk are shitting all over the Constitution and spinning it as a way to “keep America safe.” HOGWASH! We’re gonna say this again, ‘cause y’all obviously haven’t been payin’ attention.


A politician’s job isn’t to “keep America safe.” Politicians swear an oath to "uphold the Constitution of the United States of America." So far, Senators Reid and Ensign have been doin’ a piss-poor job of it. Two great examples of Nevada-educated dumbasses. Good thing we’ve got elections comin’ up. When we’re through tossin’ the bums out, Reid and Ensign can go back to workin’ at the drive thru. Just be careful what you order.


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Meanderthal

She’s 47 million years old and her name is Ida. No, she’s not John McCain’s sister, she’s the missing link. An appropriate time for a haiku, neh?

Evolution? Yes.
"Believers" can now believe.
Thank God for science.



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Awkward Christian Soldiers

Christians who believe in the war against global extremism, that torture is not a crime and that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are both justified have got to stop referring to the Old Testament.



A report out from GQ magazine says that former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld headlined intelligence briefings for pResident Bush with militaristic bible verses. Most of them were from the Old Testament. Wonder why?



Ya see, JZeus’ Dad in the O.T. was one mean, cantankerous, pissed off, S.O.B. Damn…he kept Moses out of the promised land. He turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt. He let his boy Job get munched by Moby Dick. There was myriad fire and brimstone and plagues and that sort of stuff. Aye caramba, that Dude was the God of war! Then, along comes Junior. Remember him? Apparently, Mr. Rumsfeld does not.



Read a couple of books from the New Testament. Know what you’ll find? Through and through, JZeus preaches tolerance, and love, and peace. He’s the exact polar opposite of His Old man. Surely, if the SOG were alive today, Rumsfeld and his ilk would brand him a pacifist…a coward…or worse…FRENCH!



It’s always a turd in the punchbowl when people kill in the name of their God but the right-wing nut cases, who claim America is a Christian nation, continually do things that would have JZeus spinning in His grave. So, which is it? Are you a true Christian Rummy, or is all that religion stuff just something y’all trot out to ease your conscience? We bet the latter.



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Spiked

This is a clip from the 1990 PBS special "Do it Acapella" from Spike Lee. If this doesn't have you tappin' your foot, you probably got IED'ed over in the Suck.



(8.-)

Bait and Switch

You can’t run on a platform of change and hope if you do the same fuckin’ bullshit the douchebag you replaced did.

Yesterday, the ‘Bamer said he’s gonna stop the release of hundreds of photos that show G.I. Joes abusing prisoners. He said the release of the photos would, “…further inflame anti-American opinion and to put our troops in greater danger.” Listen Barry-O…American troops are fighting two unnecessary wars with little rest and crappy gear. They’re already in great danger – a couple of pictures won’t change that. The president went on to say, "the individuals who were involved have been identified, and appropriate actions have been taken." How do we know? How can we believe you? After eight years of hearing Government-Cheese Dicks telling us “Things are being taken care of,” we’re a little leery of believing y’all right now.

Look Mr. President, it’s understandable that you’re politically scared. After all, Dr. Evil and Fat Man have already laid the blame for the next terrorist attack on you and your policies. But those policies look an awful lot like the policies of the Bush-Wipe and his administration. Where is the change you promised us? This is America. We don’t keep secrets from our citizens (anymore). We’re grownups. Release the photos and let Americans decide if you’ve taken care of business. Keep ‘em secret and you’re no better than the right-wing nut jobs who held your office the last two terms. Remember how that turned out?



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Tortured Logic

Write it in stone…You can’t call yourself a Christian if you believe in torture. Period. In a story out today, evangelicals say they’re fighting their conscience about waterboarding prisoners. I know what you’re saying, “Evangelicals have a conscience?”


The spiel coming out of the lie-holes of right wing nut jobs is that a terrorist could have information of an imminent attack on America. They figure, if that’s the case, then torture the bastard to get the pertinent information. It’s called the “Jack Bauer-24” scenario. We have just one tiny problem with that…



FULL DISCLOSURE: Every time you watch “24” on FOX, we here at PTB make one million dollars!



The problem is that “24” is a goddamned television show! It has as much to do with real-life terrorism and interrogation as Reno-911 has to do with the Reno Police Department. Wait, bad example. Put it to you this way: fictionalized scenarios for television dramas have little or nothing to do with how those things would turn out in real life. It’s fiction. But the tighty-righties would have you believe that some fake-assed T.V. show is the real deal. Poppycock.



Fact: Torture doesn’t work.

Fact: Torture is a crime.

Fact: Americans torturing Muslims is a recruitment tool for al Qaeda.



So, if you consider yourself a Christian, you can't condone torture – you must condemn torture. Remember, you were taught to “turn the other cheek.” ‘Cause I’m pretty sure when JZeus said, “My cup runneth over.” He wasn’t talking about waterboarding.



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Why We Freak

Studies have found that combat veterans are twice as likely to commit suicide as people in the general population. Can you see where this is goin’? Nine percent of all unemployment in the United States is attributed to combat exposure, as is 8 percent of all divorce or separation and 21 percent of all spousal or partner abuse. Aye Caramba! So why are people surprised when a soldier, either stationed abroad or right here at home, goes BSC and starts poppin’ caps into people? Y’all shouldn’t be. We weren’t. Here’s the crux of today’s biscuit:

Most of the brothers and sisters serving in Iraq and Afghanistan belong to the National Guard. Remember the National Guard? “One weekend a month and two weeks a year.” Not. Anymore. Thanks to Chimp-Dick’s two unwinnable and immoral wars, Guardsmen (and women) from all over the USo’A are getting stop-lossed into three, four or five tours of duty. Stayin’ that long in the Suck would make anyone crazy! And all they get to do is army versions of C.W. McCall and Paul Blart -- escorting convoys to and fro and being security guards.

Yup…pResident Bush started this fuckin’ mess and it looks like the ‘Bamer isn’t gonna stop it anytime soon. Every day civilians and soldiers die needlessly. Every day young American men and women are being driven to the edge by this fucked up bullshit. Does the Government-Cheese care? They say they do during the campaign season but as soon as they take office, they forget. We shouldn’t be surprised.




(8.-)

Joey, Joey, Joey. Oi, Oi, Oi.

Joey Gilbert, ex-favorite son of the 775, has joined forces with a couple other lawyer-types as a spokesman for a pro-Yucca Mountain lobbying group. Now, we know what y’all are sayin’, “Joey Gilbert can speak?”





But seriously, we’re wonderin’ how a cheatin’, lyin’, punch-drunk, convicted drug user can be the spokesman for anything. That being said, Gilbert has now gone over to the dark side. How can this be? Well…Gilbert has said he’s gonna throw his hat into the ring and run for political office. No problems with that. The thing is, Joe-Go has declared himself a Republican and started getting’ tootled by State Assemblyman Ty Cobb. Republicans pushing for the NV to store the country’s nookular waste? Yup. That’s their stance on the issue.




Proponents of Yucca Mountain say the Silver State will get big bucks from the Feds by storing all that radioactive diarrhea here in the 702. They point to all the scratch Alaskans get from oil company revenues. But that’s the crux of today’s biscuit…




Alaska’s oil money comes from the oil industry. Ask the poor bastards that live near Prince William Sound what they think of oil companies. Yucca-lovers say the big bucks’ll come from the Federal Government. Bad analogy. Ya see, oil companies have been making obscene profits for decades. Give a little to the AK’ers? O.K. Problem is, the feds have been hemorrhaging money since the Bush-Wipes took office. The Fed is dirt-poor. Feds got no juice, pachuco. So, where’s the money gonna come from? Nowhere.




Tighty-righty chuckleheads like Gilbert, who hate the federal government unless they want something from it, actually believe Silver Staters are gonna get big bank from the government-cheese. Not. Gonna. Happen. Best case scenario, we get the dump and nothing leaks for a million years. Worst case scenario, some BSC motherhubbard grabs hold of Pelham 123 on the way to Yucca and blows the bejeezus outta the poor bastards in Iowa or Nebraska or down in the 702. Anyone remember Trashcan Man from the Stand? We do.




Our suggestion? Hey Joey…STFU. Just because you have an (in)famous name doesn’t qualify you to accept Yucca Mountain on our behalf. Besides…Vegas glows nicely on its own.




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Second Amendment Sweetness

The best part about livin' in the 775, is that we might actually get to meet a couple o' rocket-hotties like this. Well, we can wish, can't we? have a GREAT weekend!

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